I'm so glad I cannot relate to this. I wish you all healing.

Glad you found your way to this site. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that the friendships that you form here will help ease your pain. A lot of us know that pain and will help you through. Come back often, and if you feel like chatting, the Let's go Topicless thread has the most action around here. Usually in the early morning and late afternoon to around 10 PM. Hope to hear from you soon.

5x10 (Mary)

Hi Katz, I was married 28 1/2 years when my husband passed. One dr told me after 5 months that I should have already been through the greiving process and suggested I see a phychiotrist. I think everyone has to do it in their own time. I too go to the cemetery and clean the headstone and rearrange flowers, I know that what lies in the ground is just the shell that housed the man I love. But I love that shell too, in fact I miss both very much, but nothing I can do will bring him back. In fact, I wouldn't bring him back for 1 second to suffer the unbearable pain he went through. He is in Heaven and truely healed, no more pain. I thank GOD for that, it would be selfish to bring him back to suffer any longer. I too saw a woman sitting beside a mans grave recently, she had a blanket, cooler and items as if she was going to stay for some time. She just sat there. I stayed 20-30 minutes, but she was still there when I left. I think grief of maybe something said that can't be taken back or something bad done that can't be undone is a terrible burden these people carry, because they can't say I'm Sorry for what I said or did. I was with my husband when he drew his last breath, and I told him I loved him up until he died and then still afterwards, finding it difficult to let him go and accept the fact that he really was gone. Hold on to GOD and he will get you through.

Everyone "grieves" at their own pace. I don't think it ever gets easier, we just become more practiced at it. Over 12 yrs for me & I still have moments where it is as fresh, as the moment Gwen died. I have taken food & spent a couple hrs at her grave, special occassions remembered. The biggest things I can suggest are, write letters to them, talk to their picture, talk with others that have/are going thru the same thing. There are 2 threads here on Mingle, where you can find lots of support.

"NO MAN IS AN ISLAND"

We need support of our "peers", others just can't understand.

(My humble thoughts.)

November 2, 2009 will be 4 years for me. Miss him more sometimes, as time goes by. The longer he is gone the longer since I have seen, held or smelled his scent. I would give anything for one healthy day (who am I kidding, I'd take a really bad with him in a heartbeat) with him but then, as the song says - I wold want one more...

There sure a lot of us here, sad and wonderful to know there is so much support here from all you good people.

In 2006, I started writing..have not stopped, for everyday now..different things. I know it is part of the catharsis. I feel your heart will let you know how to breathe..it is a new breathing process..Sage is right..in your own pace..I have met a few here, and float in and out. Though, daily I have read the hearts here..since I started this site..

ITS hard at times but we will get thru it

Thank you Treasa and all of you. I go on with life like a normal person but there's a taste in my mouth, that's the only way I know to describe it. A taste in my mouth and a feeling all over that's different. I am happy I had my husband as long as I did. But, just one more day...one more hour...

Hi been married for 33years but been widowed for about 9 months now.but trying to start a new life.

Hi. I am Sadie..it is different, a taste, a smell, the air..it is your own time..your heart will tell you..

Hello, this is a good place, there are some men here that can definitely relate and we gals here, too. good to see you.

There are those in life, that have never moved from the town they grew up in.I marveled at that, for life has moved my whole. Thank you for sharing in your concern and best wishes for healing. I sensed that same beauty, and marvel how tender hearts can be. Loss is loss, it is not defined by death, necessarily.

I was married to him for 43 almost 44 years! & I've been a widow 2 years & almost 2 months!

Hello Joyce, and glad you have found us. This forum is a good place. It is not easy for you right now..there are a several here, feeling similar. I am widowed since 2005, almost 25 years married..a lot of adjustments, relearning the breathing thing..
sadie

Hey guys how are you?

I'm not widowed either.
I was married 30 years,
separated 4, and
now divorced for one.

I don't have the grief which comes with widowdom...
In fact the decision to separate is one of the best decisions
I ever made. We are both far happier apart....

So I feel out of place in this thread, but
wanted you to know, Carol, that you are by no means alone...

I lost my Wife in May of 08 about a year and a half ago.

This can be a good place to meet others who enjoy company, conversation...In many ways those here can understand aspects of this time of grieving, breathing and moving closer to the next space. I am sad for your loss, this change. I hope the people you meet here will be some good for your life.

Well since I am now 50 and been widowed 10 and half years. I qualify for this community topic. Hi everyone, how are you all doing?

Does disappointments with things in life bring back to the grief? I feel I've been dropped in a world I don't belong in. I don't like it out here alone. I find a bandaid for the pain and it is gone for a while and then something shake my world and grief and fear all flood back. Hate this feeling.