What would you do if your ex just showed up at your house right now?

1st ex, tell her to go back to the cave she came from

My ex does it all the time.

Ask her what she wanted

Have sex & tell her never to return

leave

This here's a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Now, you must ask yourself one question... Do I feel lucky? Well do you, punk

Bust out the tazer....that shyt is so funny watching people freeze up.

until I peed my pants! And tell him to f off.... then ask him what he was up to?

put my clothes back on...lol...jk

ask what she wants.ask why did you not just call.

offer to call cheaters are us, as he is obviously lost.

That depends....which ex:
Call the police,
Drag him inside,
Go out to a wine shop or cafe,
Slam the door in his face.

All depends on which one.

One ex I had from a particularly nasty breakup showed up at my door about 6 weeks afterward. Keep in mind that this is the Psychotic B!tch From Hell Spawn Of Satan Who Sits At His Left Hand. Anyway, after standing there at the door listening to whatever it was that she felt she had to say (kinda like listening to the spiel of a Jehovah's Witness), she has the audacity to ask me, "So, do you wanna have sex?"

I relpied, "Absolutely! Just not with YOU!"

And I closed the door and went about my life.

That Satan he is at it again here I thought my nephews ex wife was the Psychotic B!tch From Hell Spawn Of Satan Who Sits At His Left hand. Geez it is pretty scarey to think there are two of those women in this world.

Hide all my money.

Depends on which ex.

If it was Satan's Sister ( my last ex ) then I'd just ask her what she wants this time.

If it was Christy ( the one before Satan's Sister ) then I'd tell her to come on in. She and I are still friends.

I would ask her, "So what is it treat or treat?" Then I would go check the calendar, again.