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| Topic: Ok for once and maybe for all | |
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Edited by
mcattygarnett
on
Wed 10/01/08 06:46 AM
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Rant time. I'm sorry, but even if you have "standards" on who you will or won't date...that means that you still could be missing out on that "someone" that just might be the person you hit it off with. I'm not saying date a druggie, or to lower your standards. Not at all. But like Lilith mentioned she won't date a gambler. I get that. That person has an addiction and that is something you don't want to deal with. But a Republican? Cause he/she views are different from yours? That is something you can learn to accept and deal with as long as both of you talk about it up front. I used to say that I would never date a smoker. But, then I started to talking to a girl who is, and she and I have been dating for 8 months now. I didn't lower my standards. We talked about it and because she and I connected, and I found out it didn't bother me so bad, here we are. Now, had I adhered to my rule, I never would have even met her. My point is this. Sometimes you "tweak" your standards a little bit to see what is out their. I did and thus far it is working. So, don't get so hung up on "I won't date this type person". You just never know what you will find. Even Republicans are good lovers.  you are right about that, you dont have to lower your standards to find a good person to date, just as you said you may have to adjust them some. All I am saying is that I am tired of the whining about not finding a good person, when you have not been on here long enough to even start looking and talking to people. I talk to alot of people that doesnt mean I am going to date them, they may not be what I am looking for. It takes time to weed out what you think is good and bad. I am glad that you took the time to get to know the girl that you are dating. That is what we all should do, before we say someone isnt good enough and start whining about not being able to find someone. I just want to find the one for me, and so far no luck but I will keep looking. That is the fun of it, I am talking to some wonderful people and having fun too. |
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I am with Goof on this one. When the ex and I were first dating, I jokingly said I had voted for R. Nixon. She almost threw me out of her house. I had to pull out my drivers license to show her I was too young in 72. She was a couple of years older than me so she had the opportunity to vote in that election. I also lost my job too around then, one of her dealbreakers was employment. Anyway we were married for 17 yrs. In the last elction for Gov. of Michigan she voted for the Republican and I the Democrat.
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So I guess once again we are all saying that we should not have to lower our standards. But we should keep an open mind. I see the open mind thing as a problem here. I see a lot of people with closed minds and borderline anal retentive attitudes. That "Its my way or the highway" attitude leaves them alone on the highway most of the time. I like people with horse blinder mentality. They make me laugh.
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I'm the Antichrist Lilith.
 I'm not like "most" Republicans are, but that is for another discussion. Hehe! I see what you are saying mcatty, and you are right. You do have to find the right person for you. I was just saying that sometimes that person isn't who you think he/she will be.  |
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So I guess once again we are all saying that we should not have to lower our standards. But we should keep an open mind. I see the open mind thing as a problem here. I see a lot of people with closed minds and borderline anal retentive attitudes. That "Its my way or the highway" attitude leaves them alone on the highway most of the time. I like people with horse blinder mentality. They make me laugh. Ohhh you mean the "I want to meet someone who accepts me for me and I'm not changing for anyone" class of folks. The ones who think a relationship is for good times only and leave when stress arrives on the doorstep and causes the need for actual problem solving and compromise... How's that for generalizing? |
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....I don't date republicans.... Uh Damm... that turns me on!!!! |
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So I guess once again we are all saying that we should not have to lower our standards. But we should keep an open mind. I see the open mind thing as a problem here. I see a lot of people with closed minds and borderline anal retentive attitudes. That "Its my way or the highway" attitude leaves them alone on the highway most of the time. I like people with horse blinder mentality. They make me laugh. Ohhh you mean the "I want to meet someone who accepts me for me and I'm not changing for anyone" class of folks. The ones who think a relationship is for good times only and leave when stress arrives on the doorstep and causes the need for actual problem solving and compromise... How's that for generalizing? I love drama. I mean, give me a woman who is a drama queen, and I swoon! 
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Just like my favorite song "Somebody" by Depeche Mode.
"I want somebody to share Share the rest of my life Share my innermost thoughts Know my intimate details Someone who'll stand by my side And give me support And in return She'll get my support She will listen to me When I want to speak About the world we live in And life in general Though my views may be wrong They may even be perverted She'll hear me out And won't easily be converted To my way of thinking In fact she'll often disagree But at the end of it all She will understand me I want somebody who cares For me passionately With every thought and With every breath Someone who'll help me see things In a different light All the things I detest I will almost like I don't want to be tied To anyone's strings I'm carefully trying to steer clear of Those things But when I'm asleep I want somebody Who will put their arms around me And kiss me tenderly Though things like this Make me sick In a case like this I'll get away with it" |
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Ohhh you mean the "I want to meet someone who accepts me for me and I'm not changing for anyone" class of folks. I've met almost 100 who SAID they could accept me the way I am....but give it 3 months, and here comes the steering wheel and the big green parrot squawking "Domesticate! Domesticate!" all day long.... |
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I've read these responses with inqusitive interest and come to the conclusion that there is NOTHING wrong with me......just with my profile telling basic things about me.
I've had lots of ladies "perv" my profile, but very few, if any, people interested in giving me even the opportunity to get to know them better on a "more private than the forums" basis. Maybe ya'll might check it out and make some suggestions for me. I know this might be the wrong thread for this request, but it kinda fits in. Thanks |
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Maybe ya'll might check it out and make some suggestions for me. I know this might be the wrong thread for this request, but it kinda fits in. Thanks Your main image... I've said this before.... you can't see you at all. Change it. Please. The other suggestion I have is delete and amend the excessive and profound overuse of punctuation, especially the exclamation mark. Use only one or two in your whole profile and only one question mark per phrase. If you look at it from an outsiders view, overuse of punctuation makes you look histrionic. Not a good thing. I'd also not say quite so much about your marital/legal situation. There is a fine line betwen being forthright and TMI Syndrome, and you are on the other side of the fence. I think you seem like a great guy, just let that shine through.
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this is why i go for hookers.they don't expect anything except for their $50
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Maybe ya'll might check it out and make some suggestions for me. I know this might be the wrong thread for this request, but it kinda fits in. Thanks Your main image... I've said this before.... you can't see you at all. Change it. Please. The other suggestion I have is delete and amend the excessive and profound overuse of punctuation, especially the exclamation mark. Use only one or two in your whole profile and only one question mark per phrase. If you look at it from an outsiders view, overuse of punctuation makes you look histrionic. Not a good thing. I'd also not say quite so much about your marital/legal situation. There is a fine line betwen being forthright and TMI Syndrome, and you are on the other side of the fence. I think you seem like a great guy, just let that shine through. Thanks, I'll change some of that around and see if it works better. |
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this is why i go for hookers.they don't expect anything except for their $50  |
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In my experience, 9 times out of 10, girls date guys who their friends think are worthy, not necessarily who fit them personally. Bad idea, but I’ve seen it over and over again. I did that myself, then realized I had to stop caring about that and date who feels right to me. Not all my friends approve of Darren (“he’s such a dork!” “why are you dating such a geek?”) but I don’t care – those who really KNOW me know how good we are together and why. Those who don’t don’t matter anyway.
I've met almost 100 who SAID they could accept me the way I am....but give it 3 months, and here comes the steering wheel and the big green parrot squawking "Domesticate! Domesticate!" all day long.... I'm willing to give if he's willing to give. It's a mutual thing. But I will never try and change who someone IS. I know most the men on here won't believe a woman is actually that way, but it's true. SOME of us don't want to change you. But we do expect that if some little things annoy us you'll be courteous enough and care enough about us to make an effort to not do those things. Of course, this VERY MUCH goes both ways. Sadly, I know way too many women who don't agree to this... |
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this is why i go for hookers.they don't expect anything except for their $50 But they love you long time. |
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Internet dating is weedwhacking. You simply have to weed out the whackos. The selection pool is filled with people, and simply put we all have preferences, and then we have dealbreakers. I think talking about those issues from the get go is vital. As long as you do it in a lighthearted, tactful, and openminded fashion it can be a very fun and engaging way to get to know someone. It also weeds out the whackos. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to have boundaries and parameters for which you won't settle. I don't date RPG players. I don't date gamblers. I don't date republicans. I just don't, and it's not because of prior bad experiences. I admit those do exist, but it's more the why of those activities and how they bleed over into other aspects of life that I take umbrage with. I get flak for it, but that's okay. It's my life. I think for me, it weeds out a lot of incompatibility from the get go. There are always other issues or things that you see more or learn later, but you have to view dating as prophlyactic, and not only in a sexual way. Each person you meet is an individual who could be that special someone.... give them a chance. But don't compromise your standards to do so. A relationship is founded on compromise, but must stand on mutual beliefs first. |
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whoops didn't mean to do that. I was just going to point out the big words she uses lol. Umbrage!
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I think for me, it weeds out a lot of incompatibility from the get go. There are always other issues or things that you see more or learn later, but you have to view dating as prophlyactic, and not only in a sexual way. Each person you meet is an individual who could be that special someone.... give them a chance. But don't compromise your standards to do so. A relationship is founded on compromise, but must stand on mutual beliefs first. ... that's EXACTLY what I was trying to say on my intellect thread! Thank-you! |
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