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| Topic: Ok for once and maybe for all | |
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times, there are good and bad people in both sexes. You just have to realize that you have to weed out the ones that are not right for you, so that you can get to that good one. I had a good one for someone that is into computer games, he just wasnt for me. We will always be friends and sometimes that is more important. But back to this topic, I just dont understand why some people dont realize this and do what they need to do to find that one that is right for them.
Any thoughts on this. |
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty.
 
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty. Yes we did, I just dont understand why others dont get it. I kinda feel like they feel like that one person is going to just drop out of the sky and right into their lives. It just doesnt happen like that too often. |
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I think trying to make and apple out of and orange in a relationship is emotional suicide but it took me awhile to catch on to that so I try to give people a little grace to gain their own experience and a view of my own if A BIG IF they want to draw from it.
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty. Sugar pop.... 
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty. Yes we did, I just dont understand why others dont get it. I kinda feel like they feel like that one person is going to just drop out of the sky and right into their lives. It just doesnt happen like that too often. NOPE That said, I am also bothered that some people seem to have given up on the notion that they will find the right person - given time. There's someone for everyone. It just takes patience and willingness to be available. |
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty. Sugar pop.... awwwwwwwww My girl is here ...sweet. Hey LILS! |
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Edited by
mcattygarnett
on
Wed 10/01/08 01:16 AM
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I think I already cleared my stance on this with you Catty. Yes we did, I just dont understand why others dont get it. I kinda feel like they feel like that one person is going to just drop out of the sky and right into their lives. It just doesnt happen like that too often. NOPE That said, I am also bothered that some people seem to have given up on the notion that they will find the right person - given time. There's someone for everyone. It just takes patience and willingness to be available. so very true, It takes alot to find that one person, and sometimes the one you think is it turns out not to be. So you just go back and start again. Not cry about there not being any good men or women left.
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I posted this early this morning, and I wanted to see what the rest of the crowd thinks.
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times, there are good and bad people in both sexes. You just have to realize that you have to weed out the ones that are not right for you, so that you can get to that good one. I had a good one for someone that is into computer games, he just wasnt for me. We will always be friends and sometimes that is more important. But back to this topic, I just dont understand why some people dont realize this and do what they need to do to find that one that is right for them. Any thoughts on this. It's easier to overgeneralize. People are lazy and tend to avoid things that force them to think -- so, to say "Why do all women only like bad guys?" is a panacea, an escape mechanism -- I don't have to worry about finding a girl who likes a decent guy, since no girl actually DOES like a decent guy, right? I can still make 4000 posts complaining about it -- it's a quick and easy attention-getter, if you don't mind the fact that 99% of the attention is of the "Oh no, not another 'nice guy' thread!" variety.... People want to categorize everything, clump them together in nebulous (and generally invalid) groups -- doesn't matter if it makes any sense or not. It's easier to condemn "all men" or "all women" rather than take the time to try to see people as individuals....that's hard, and it strains the old corpus callosum.... |
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times, there are good and bad people in both sexes. You just have to realize that you have to weed out the ones that are not right for you, so that you can get to that good one. I had a good one for someone that is into computer games, he just wasnt for me. We will always be friends and sometimes that is more important. But back to this topic, I just dont understand why some people dont realize this and do what they need to do to find that one that is right for them. Any thoughts on this. It's easier to overgeneralize. People are lazy and tend to avoid things that force them to think -- so, to say "Why do all women only like bad guys?" is a panacea, an escape mechanism -- I don't have to worry about finding a girl who likes a decent guy, since no girl actually DOES like a decent guy, right? I can still make 4000 posts complaining about it -- it's a quick and easy attention-getter, if you don't mind the fact that 99% of the attention is of the "Oh no, not another 'nice guy' thread!" variety.... People want to categorize everything, clump them together in nebulous (and generally invalid) groups -- doesn't matter if it makes any sense or not. It's easier to condemn "all men" or "all women" rather than take the time to try to see people as individuals....that's hard, and it strains the old corpus callosum.... I have to agree with you on this, I guess it comes with age that you learn you have to weed out the good with the bad |
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Internet dating is weedwhacking. You simply have to weed out the whackos.
The selection pool is filled with people, and simply put we all have preferences, and then we have dealbreakers. I think talking about those issues from the get go is vital. As long as you do it in a lighthearted, tactful, and openminded fashion it can be a very fun and engaging way to get to know someone. It also weeds out the whackos. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to have boundaries and parameters for which you won't settle. I don't date RPG players. I don't date gamblers. I don't date republicans. I just don't, and it's not because of prior bad experiences. I admit those do exist, but it's more the why of those activities and how they bleed over into other aspects of life that I take umbrage with. I get flak for it, but that's okay. It's my life. I think for me, it weeds out a lot of incompatibility from the get go. There are always other issues or things that you see more or learn later, but you have to view dating as prophlyactic, and not only in a sexual way. Each person you meet is an individual who could be that special someone.... give them a chance. But don't compromise your standards to do so. A relationship is founded on compromise, but must stand on mutual beliefs first. |
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I don't have these problems. I check my expectations. Be realistic.
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Internet dating is weedwhacking. You simply have to weed out the whackos. The selection pool is filled with people, and simply put we all have preferences, and then we have dealbreakers. I think talking about those issues from the get go is vital. As long as you do it in a lighthearted, tactful, and openminded fashion it can be a very fun and engaging way to get to know someone. It also weeds out the whackos. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to have boundaries and parameters for which you won't settle. I don't date RPG players. I don't date gamblers. I don't date republicans. I just don't, and it's not because of prior bad experiences. I admit those do exist, but it's more the why of those activities and how they bleed over into other aspects of life that I take umbrage with. I get flak for it, but that's okay. It's my life. I think for me, it weeds out a lot of incompatibility from the get go. There are always other issues or things that you see more or learn later, but you have to view dating as prophlyactic, and not only in a sexual way. Each person you meet is an individual who could be that special someone.... give them a chance. But don't compromise your standards to do so. A relationship is founded on compromise, but must stand on mutual beliefs first. very well said, I guess I just get tired of all of the whining about the any good ones left, they are out there, people just have to be willing to put the time into it is all |
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I don't have these problems. I check my expectations. Be realistic. LHB.... I think our expectations are not unreasonable yet they seem to unattainable (at this juncture) and that is a very sad, sorry thing. I mean, what's wrong with you wanting an independent, smart, stable, and fun gal with no designs on marriage? Why is that so ridiculous? It's not. |
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I don't have these problems. I check my expectations. Be realistic. LHB.... I think our expectations are not unreasonable yet they seem to unattainable (at this juncture) and that is a very sad, sorry thing. I mean, what's wrong with you wanting an independent, smart, stable, and fun gal with no designs on marriage? Why is that so ridiculous? It's not. no its not |
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And I sure as heck won't date a chronic generalizer, woe is me, feel sorry for me, where are all the good men, solicitation for pity, why can't I, what's wrong with me type people. They are not attractive. And I'm 43 and have no time to hold hands, wipe asses, or heal broken hearts that the fools refuse to get over. Chronic whiners? See ya! I'm moving foreward in my life. Not backwards. If I wanted a pet, I'd buy one.
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Rant time.
I'm sorry, but even if you have "standards" on who you will or won't date...that means that you still could be missing out on that "someone" that just might be the person you hit it off with. I'm not saying date a druggie, or to lower your standards. Not at all. But like Lilith mentioned she won't date a gambler. I get that. That person has an addiction and that is something you don't want to deal with. But a Republican? Cause he/she views are different from yours? That is something you can learn to accept and deal with as long as both of you talk about it up front. I used to say that I would never date a smoker. But, then I started to talking to a girl who is, and she and I have been dating for 8 months now. I didn't lower my standards. We talked about it and because she and I connected, and I found out it didn't bother me so bad, here we are. Now, had I adhered to my rule, I never would have even met her. My point is this. Sometimes you "tweak" your standards a little bit to see what is out their. I did and thus far it is working. So, don't get so hung up on "I won't date this type person". You just never know what you will find. Even Republicans are good lovers. 
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And a nuisance pet at that. I'm agreeing wholeheartedly with you ladies in your opine. You are right.
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Goof..... aww you republican you.
 I've dated republicans.... and I doubt you truly are one in your heart of hearts. Sorry... Republicans, at least the ones I've dated, tend to entrench the political beliefs with the personal ones, and vice versa. Pro Life, Gay Marriage, Big Business, and other conservative beliefs are just so much like lichen (ohhh that was a good one, eh?) A true republican and me won't work. I'm a liberal democrat. I've tried and I'm not saying it might never work, but it's on the borderline dealbreaker list. |
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