Topic: child support
beachbum069's photo
Sat 09/27/08 04:19 PM
My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.

KymmieSue's photo
Sat 09/27/08 04:26 PM

mad yeahhh..I have had ongoing battles with my ex for support for 8 yrs now. He's in arears $50,000 and the courts are no help at all. They send him a lousy piece of paper every time I take a day off (and loose wages) just to go sit down there like a fool all day.


The most mine has paid is maybe $5000 total, their whole lives (I have 3). Now owes somewhere around $75K. His thing now is because the kids are all adults he can get the kids to sign a waiver to release him from back child support. What he fails to realize, the monies are owed to me and not the kids.

KymmieSue's photo
Sat 09/27/08 04:35 PM

My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.


Seems like there should be something they could do across state lines. Sucks if not.

Think I have a harder time with a woman being a deadbeat than a man though, not sure why.

beachbum069's photo
Sat 09/27/08 04:37 PM


My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.


Seems like there should be something they could do across state lines. Sucks if not.

Think I have a harder time with a woman being a deadbeat than a man though, not sure why.

The states have to have an agreement about it. It's funny but most states don't talk to each other in regards to parental obligations but will share traffic records.

KymmieSue's photo
Sat 09/27/08 04:46 PM



My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.


Seems like there should be something they could do across state lines. Sucks if not.

Think I have a harder time with a woman being a deadbeat than a man though, not sure why.

The states have to have an agreement about it. It's funny but most states don't talk to each other in regards to parental obligations but will share traffic records.


Soooooooo stupid. When it costs more for the states to help SOME parents to support these kids. At least I think it costs more than speeding and running a red light.

Jill298's photo
Sat 09/27/08 05:28 PM

My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.
eventually she will be arrested... whether she moved to another state or not, does not exclude her from paying for her kid.

KymmieSue's photo
Sat 09/27/08 05:50 PM


My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.
eventually she will be arrested... whether she moved to another state or not, does not exclude her from paying for her kid.


Sadly, not always. Calif "arrests, no drivers license, can't register a car, insure either" my ex has owed money since my youngest was 2 (my kids are now 21,19, & 18). Never spent an hour in jail, has a car registered in his name as well as insurance for the car.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 09/27/08 09:40 PM


What I would like to know is why if a parent doesn't support his kids, lies to them about getting them things, coming to see them, ect. doesn't lift a finger to see that their dead or alive how the devil do they get away with having Grandparent's rights?
huh I'm not sure I know what you mean...

My Ex was a deadbeat; actually paid for the attorney for the kids to have his rights taken away and yet now he waltz's in like Santa Claus and gets to play Grand Pappy with the money he should still have to pay me. He play the biology card a little late in the game. But regardless he still has Granparent's rights believe it or not. Maybe they will pay for his nurseing home because I sure not going to.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 09/27/08 09:43 PM


My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.


Seems like there should be something they could do across state lines. Sucks if not.

Think I have a harder time with a woman being a deadbeat than a man though, not sure why.

Actually there is It is called and innerstate compact agreement. Very difficult and only children that are state wards or destitute usually get enough priority to collect.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 09/27/08 09:52 PM
What is interesting to me is if I would have filed for public assistance to support my children they would have put a lein on any present and future assests to pay but instead of making the father equally or even completely responsible to pay what he was court ordered they don't even touch him.

What makes me even more crazy is the number of women who will shack up or marry a guy then pay for his attorney to fight paying child support.

I laughed so hard I p--d my pants when my Ex's second wife had the nerve to ask me to help her collect her child support. DUH? That was a case of what goes around comes around. I do feel sorry for their kids though they really have had the short end.

daniel48706's photo
Wed 10/01/08 09:52 AM

My aunt moved to another state to avoid paying child support to her ex. She is behind over $65000 and her ex and the court can't do anything because she moved to another state.


Thats a bunch of bs. I am sorry but it is. Child support is now an interstate issue, and no matter what state you are in, all you have to do is call the national child support hotline and get them involved.

I just moved to new york from michigan with ym kids, and new york is getting involved with the back support, to the case of freezing her bank accounts, getting on micihgans case about why a bench warrant as not been issued, etc.

All the parent has to do, is call.

daniel48706's photo
Wed 10/01/08 09:53 AM
What state are you living in? To my knowledge there is NO state, that what you just said would be true. Once a child hits eighteen, most places (if not all) any arrearage goes straight to the child in questin. And if for some reason it goes to the raising parent, that parent is required by law to pass it on to the child directly.

Child support is not for the raising parent, it is for the child(ren) in question.




mad yeahhh..I have had ongoing battles with my ex for support for 8 yrs now. He's in arears $50,000 and the courts are no help at all. They send him a lousy piece of paper every time I take a day off (and loose wages) just to go sit down there like a fool all day.


The most mine has paid is maybe $5000 total, their whole lives (I have 3). Now owes somewhere around $75K. His thing now is because the kids are all adults he can get the kids to sign a waiver to release him from back child support. What he fails to realize, the monies are owed to me and not the kids.

franshade's photo
Wed 10/01/08 09:55 AM

What state are you living in? To my knowledge there is NO state, that what you just said would be true. Once a child hits eighteen, most places (if not all) any arrearage goes straight to the child in questin. And if for some reason it goes to the raising parent, that parent is required by law to pass it on to the child directly.

Child support is not for the raising parent, it is for the child(ren) in question.


this is interesting, why would the monies be turned over to the child, as the custodial parent has used and paid for expenses without help from non custodial parent? The arrearage is due to the parent not the child.

Winx's photo
Wed 10/01/08 11:05 AM


What state are you living in? To my knowledge there is NO state, that what you just said would be true. Once a child hits eighteen, most places (if not all) any arrearage goes straight to the child in questin. And if for some reason it goes to the raising parent, that parent is required by law to pass it on to the child directly.

Child support is not for the raising parent, it is for the child(ren) in question.


this is interesting, why would the monies be turned over to the child, as the custodial parent has used and paid for expenses without help from non custodial parent? The arrearage is due to the parent not the child.


One of my friends has lived in MO and CA. Her child is now in her 20's. My friend lives in MO and is still receiving backpay from CA. Her ex is going to paying for a long time.bigsmile

She's the one that needs to be reimbursed not her child.

daniel48706's photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:02 AM
no, hcild suport is just that, support for the child. The custodial parent is in fact considered the childs payee, until they are an adult, just as if they were receiving social security (the child I mean), and thus you have the right to use the child support in order to provide what they need, or want. however, if you make enough to pay for everythign without the child support (just the same as with social security), then you are obligated to put that child support into savings for the child, in order for them to have it when they need it later on. for example, to pay for college.
My kids receive both child support (my ex finally paid everything up in full, yeaah!!!!!), AND social security through their mother, and I am their payee on both accounts, as I am the custodial father. I have this all in writing to that affect.
Now, on a side note, most states do not check up on how the child support is used, unless someone (like the one paying support) makes a complaint. Is this right? No. Will it change? probably not. BUT ifyou irritate the authority figure for the child support enough, then they CAN cause some serious aggravation and such.



What state are you living in? To my knowledge there is NO state, that what you just said would be true. Once a child hits eighteen, most places (if not all) any arrearage goes straight to the child in questin. And if for some reason it goes to the raising parent, that parent is required by law to pass it on to the child directly.

Child support is not for the raising parent, it is for the child(ren) in question.


this is interesting, why would the monies be turned over to the child, as the custodial parent has used and paid for expenses without help from non custodial parent? The arrearage is due to the parent not the child.

franshade's photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:14 AM

no, hcild suport is just that, support for the child. The custodial parent is in fact considered the childs payee, until they are an adult, just as if they were receiving social security (the child I mean), and thus you have the right to use the child support in order to provide what they need, or want. however, if you make enough to pay for everythign without the child support (just the same as with social security), then you are obligated to put that child support into savings for the child, in order for them to have it when they need it later on. for example, to pay for college.
My kids receive both child support (my ex finally paid everything up in full, yeaah!!!!!), AND social security through their mother, and I am their payee on both accounts, as I am the custodial father. I have this all in writing to that affect.
Now, on a side note, most states do not check up on how the child support is used, unless someone (like the one paying support) makes a complaint. Is this right? No. Will it change? probably not. BUT ifyou irritate the authority figure for the child support enough, then they CAN cause some serious aggravation and such.


daniel - not really sure if you just like going against what I post, but you are incorrect yet again. Both parents (regardless of who makes more $$$ are responsible financially for the upbringing of the children.

Example, you and I have a child, you dont pay child support, rest assured that the child wont go without, regardless of how I make things work. The child is now over 18 and independent, child support is still being recouped/garnished from your wages - this money now belongs to me, what I do with it, is just that, what I do with it. I agree if this scenario was real (personally), I would put money towards childs education, but point is - the money belong to the custodial parent and how it is used. There is no obligation to do anything with the money, granted a moral obligation but nothing else.

jmo

lilith401's photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:27 AM
Fran, I don't think this is just your opinion. Child support funds are to provide for the child, rent/mortgage, electricity, food, clothing, vacations, etc. Once the child has been raised these needs were already met during the dependent years. The purose of the funds, regardless of when they are received, do not change.

If they are paid after the child is no longer a dependent in the eyes of the law (18) the parent who went without so their child could HAVE, well, that money is theirs. To fly to Vegas and gamble, to go buy Jimmy Choo shoes, or to buy a car. They gave up their own money while the child was growing up, so the child support is like repayment to them, not the child.

franshade's photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:30 AM

Fran, I don't think this is just your opinion. Child support funds are to provide for the child, rent/mortgage, electricity, food, clothing, vacations, etc. Once the child has been raised these needs were already met during the dependent years. The purose of the funds, regardless of when they are received, do not change.

If they are paid after the child is no longer a dependent in the eyes of the law (18) the parent who went without so their child could HAVE, well, that money is theirs. To fly to Vegas and gamble, to go buy Jimmy Choo shoes, or to buy a car. They gave up their own money while the child was growing up, so the child support is like repayment to them, not the child.


I'm with you and have said so all along, thought I was the only one to think like this flowerforyou

Jimmy Choo's (still saving for those, but got my new Prada's) :banana:



lilith401's photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:32 AM
No, hunny we are so alike in so many ways! It was why I pined for you while you were gone....laugh You are my JSH soulmate. :tongue:

no photo
Wed 10/08/08 07:34 AM
My girls' father is in jail....his girlfriend put money on his books for comodities and they garnished it! Woot Woot!!! First 50 bucks I've seen in years!!drinker laugh drinker