The children are the priority. Not the ex.

The best thing about my ex... is I get to treat him like he's an EX! I don't have to explain myself to him, prove anything, or make him happy in the slightest

just a personal ranting session now -

parents are responsible financially and emotionally of their children (planned and unplanned alike).

Child support is to help with the financial needs of raising a child, while this is extremely important, please do not forget to also provide your children with emotional support, guidance and love.

(damnit fell off soap box )

I never had and never will have kids. I share a medical condition with all the males on my mom's side and none of them have kids either

because of that I can't find the slightest shred of respect for a man who doesn't do everything and anything to tend to his kids. Being a daddy is a whole lot more than dashing off a check once a month

that's ok... I can pick you and put you back on if you like.

You are so dead on. There's a mentality with some folks that as long as they are providing support money, they are indeed raising their child. BLECK! It takes a heck of a lot more than a check to successfully raise a child. I would gladly give back child support monies in return for a father that was available for his kids, physically and emotionally. As it is I work 2 jobs at weird hours so I can try to fill both roles as best I can. If I lost the child support, I would continue to do it all anyhow, just we would have to lose a few more "luxuries". But I have no doubt it could be done, because I'm committed to my kids, unlike my ex who is committed to himself at the moment. Hopefully one day he'll get back to the real world and it's not to late to salvage his relationships with his daughters.
Wow, I ranted just now........SORRY!

My daughter's "father" moved to Hawaii to be with his new girlfriend and her children. He actually told me before he moved that he knew he wouldn't get to see his daughter anymore, since he was in the middle of the damn ocean... he had actually come to terms with the fact that she will hate him she grows up. He's OK with that. He did what he had to do for his happiness.

Go Heather, just be careful leaving the soap box, I just fell off mine

But I agree, it is doable, not fair but doable.

Thanks! My life has been far from fair thus far. But ya can't let that get ya down eh? I hear it all the time that ALL his money goes to ME. ME???? Not even! Oh, I did get 2 new shirts the other day. Yes, I guess that means I'm spending HIS money. Sigh. A man walks out on his family, leaving me looking at a cell phone bill with months of calls to his non-girlfriend (AS IF!) and yet I'm the one who's taking all his money.

And yet somehow all I wish for him is happiness and the ability to get his crap together and be there for our children. People think I'm nuts, but if his happiness benefits our children, then I'm all for it. In my case, we will never agree on these issues, so I just have to give it up to god and do what I think is best.

I really need to stop talking/thinking about it......gets me all riled up for nuttin! Hugs all around to those of us who struggle with these issues!

Daniel, in a perfect world the parent ordered to pay child support will pay (and on time) her/his duties. More often than not that parent falls in arrears, stops or just cannot comply.

Granted there are those who truly step up to the plate but please realize you are the exception, most people once they break up want to sever all ties and it sadly also includes their children. NOT EVERY PARENT BUT ON THE NORM.

My daughter's "father" moved to Hawaii to be with his new girlfriend and her children. He actually told me before he moved that he knew he wouldn't get to see his daughter anymore, since he was in the middle of the damn ocean... he had actually come to terms with the fact that she will hate him she grows up. He's OK with that. He did what he had to do for his happiness.

I don't know if it's the norm, Fran. I pray that it's not. But..it does happen more than it should.

The Family Services (the state) here handles alot of cases - claims filed by women that aren't receiving support. They garnish alot of checks. And there are the laws putting the Dads in jail for not paying. I wonder why they need that? (Not really wondering.)

Also, my mom worked in Personnel at her company. They had a position only for the purpose of handling the garnishments from Family Services. That's alot of checks being garnished!!

Then there's the women that take the Dad's to court on their own.

I do know, though, that there are many Dads that do the right thing.

It has been said that there is more than 1 way to support a kid, I agree. I worked nights when mine were little, could have taken them while I was at work so I could save a couple bucks. Picked them up from school, helped with home work so I could get a little more sleep, go to the store, do laundry. There are any number of things he could have done to help support his kids, but didn't. I would have been satisfied with anything that helped other than the money.

I totally agree. Him picking her up and giving me a break would help so much. Hell I can't even get him to call her on a regular basis...

What I would like to know is why if a parent doesn't support his kids, lies to them about getting them things, coming to see them, ect. doesn't lift a finger to see that their dead or alive how the devil do they get away with having Grandparent's rights?