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| Topic: Is it morally acceptable if ... | |
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Under no circumstances whatsoever!!!!!Hell no!!!!!!!!!!
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? No If they brake up on their own then yes, it would be alright. |
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Basically, this all depends on what kind of person you are. How much do you value your friends? How much does your friend value you? How much do you trust that because your friend's ex broke up with him... or her (for the ladies), he or she won't turn around and do the same thing to you? If you are comfortable with it, then do it. If not, don't. This is a decision only you can make for yourself. There's nothing morally wrong about it at all as far as society is concerned.
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if you are both into each other why doesn't the person break it off with the other person
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? |
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something about having cake and eating...
if you are both into each other why doesn't the person break it off with the other person |
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In the first place if they were really into you they would leave the one they are with first. Sounds to be as it could just be a one time thing only.
Besides if they do decide to be with you and they have not broke it off with the one they are with. Do you honestly think they would not cheat on you? If that is what you think your dead wrong they will just find it easier next time to do the same to you. But myself I would not touch it with a 10 ft pole unless what you consider a friendship is something that is just something that you would throw away for a roll in the hay. |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? Sure why not, who cares about values anyway....just take what you can get & screw the rest....& when it happens to you, you can whine & complain about how your a nice guy that got screwed Didn't say I was a nice guy... I am sure that opinion would vary from person to another... |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? Not to me. |
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My morals went out the window....yesterday.  Windy day? |
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"I see where you are coming from... but generally speaking. If I/They
 (being the one outside the relationship) developed something quite innocently with that person and it turns out the other person in that relationship was hanging on just for the sake of it and knowing it was probably a sinking ship anyway, from what you are saying, who is the main offender? Me/They?" By the tone of your answers I think you have already made up your mind. Not real sure why you are asking? I don't think you are going to find too many here that are going to say it's an ok thing to do. Most have already said to at least wait until it's over. If it was me I would distance myself from the situation. Your presence there is probably confusing her and who's to say your "chemistry" will actually pan out? I can only speak to my own morals, but where I come from you don't try to steal away your friends date, NO MATTER what the situation is. |
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Depends on if it is socially morally acceptable or your own morals that you are considering. Come again I was saying that if it's your morals, then you are the only one to answer that question. If it's societies' that you wonder about...typically most people frown upon it. As a rule, what you say is politically correct. But in the heat of the moment and all is true... could be a bit of a dilemma... When you are the one being cheated on, then it isn't a nice thing or morally acceptable, but when you are in the other seat... Values change SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite. Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around. P.S. You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life. But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question. NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it. P.S. The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after? I see where you are coming from... but generally speaking. If I/They (being the one outside the relationship) developed something quite innocently with that person and it turns out the other person in that relationship was hanging on just for the sake of it and knowing it was probably a sinking ship anyway, from what you are saying, who is the main offender? Me/They? Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you. If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy). If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect. You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo. If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants. IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice. IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes. For somebody with such a frown in her picture.. You speak a lot of sense... For the record it is a generic question. |
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Speaking from the point of view of someone who has little to no use for conventional morality (or anything that calls itself "morality" really, whether conventional or not)--I try to view every act in terms of its possible consequences, and not whether some unseen entity/society will find it "immoral" or not.
Even an intensely self-interested person (such as myself) can find good and rational reasons for not hitting on someone else's mate, regardless of "chemistry" (excuses, excuses!) For example: Retaliation by the wronged person. You may not see it as "cheating" per se, but that's not going to matter once you're getting the crap beat out of you. Another example would involve the inevitable aftermath of lust's satisfaction and the feelings of doubt and ambivalence that set in when one has committed an act that compromises one's personal standards as well as those of society (you would not have asked if you weren't at least somewhat concerned about same). Wondering about possible consequences AFTER one has committed the antisocial act is very... well, it's dumb. If you were a friend of mine and came to me with that question, I would say that obviously it's a terrible idea--for you, since you are having misgivings about it. If something feels wrong, then it probably IS wrong. I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett |
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just wrong to hurt people
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Speaking from the point of view of someone who has little to no use for conventional morality (or anything that calls itself "morality" really, whether conventional or not)--I try to view every act in terms of its possible consequences, and not whether some unseen entity/society will find it "immoral" or not. Even an intensely self-interested person (such as myself) can find good and rational reasons for not hitting on someone else's mate, regardless of "chemistry" (excuses, excuses!) For example: Retaliation by the wronged person. You may not see it as "cheating" per se, but that's not going to matter once you're getting the crap beat out of you. Another example would involve the inevitable aftermath of lust's satisfaction and the feelings of doubt and ambivalence that set in when one has committed an act that compromises one's personal standards as well as those of society (you would not have asked if you weren't at least somewhat concerned about same). Wondering about possible consequences AFTER one has committed the antisocial act is very... well, it's dumb. If you were a friend of mine and came to me with that question, I would say that obviously it's a terrible idea--for you, since you are having misgivings about it. If something feels wrong, then it probably IS wrong. I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett Obviously, repeating myself from the above post. Firstly, it is a generic question. Not a wrestling match between my virtues and my lustuous ego... The thing I find interesting about the posts on here (on this topic) is that on the one hand from what I read people are very ... how shall I say ... standing on the higher ground, on the other hand what I see outside day by day is quite the opposite. |
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Edited by
luv2roknroll
on
Mon 09/22/08 12:54 PM
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Theres how many millions of people in the world...and your gonna tell me you have to do that....NO FRIGGEN WAY!!!
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Depends on if it is socially morally acceptable or your own morals that you are considering. Come again I was saying that if it's your morals, then you are the only one to answer that question. If it's societies' that you wonder about...typically most people frown upon it. As a rule, what you say is politically correct. But in the heat of the moment and all is true... could be a bit of a dilemma... When you are the one being cheated on, then it isn't a nice thing or morally acceptable, but when you are in the other seat... Values change SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite. Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around. P.S. You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life. But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question. NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it. P.S. The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after? I see where you are coming from... but generally speaking. If I/They (being the one outside the relationship) developed something quite innocently with that person and it turns out the other person in that relationship was hanging on just for the sake of it and knowing it was probably a sinking ship anyway, from what you are saying, who is the main offender? Me/They? Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you. If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy). If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect. You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo. If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants. IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice. IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes. For somebody with such a frown in her picture.. You speak a lot of sense... For the record it is a generic question. Thanks. but u may want to take another look, it isn't a "frown" but a half smile............. My face is simply relaxed, and I have other pics on my profile of me "smiling". I find it interesting though, how different people associate different "emotions" or "expressions" to a picture that lacks it. I have been told I look upset.......but I wasn't. Anyhoo, please do carry on with the OP. |
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just wrong to hurt people In an ideal world... yes it is |
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Messing around with someone's significant other is not a good idea. I suppose that a case could be made if the two parties were deeply in love physically, spiritually and emotionally. I'm not sure that such exists.
If it's just a longing of the loins, do what Vinny Vega did in Pulp Fiction. Safer. Much safer. |
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Edited by
Plainome
on
Mon 09/22/08 12:58 PM
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Speaking from the point of view of someone who has little to no use for conventional morality (or anything that calls itself "morality" really, whether conventional or not)--I try to view every act in terms of its possible consequences, and not whether some unseen entity/society will find it "immoral" or not. Even an intensely self-interested person (such as myself) can find good and rational reasons for not hitting on someone else's mate, regardless of "chemistry" (excuses, excuses!) For example: Retaliation by the wronged person. You may not see it as "cheating" per se, but that's not going to matter once you're getting the crap beat out of you. Another example would involve the inevitable aftermath of lust's satisfaction and the feelings of doubt and ambivalence that set in when one has committed an act that compromises one's personal standards as well as those of society (you would not have asked if you weren't at least somewhat concerned about same). Wondering about possible consequences AFTER one has committed the antisocial act is very... well, it's dumb. If you were a friend of mine and came to me with that question, I would say that obviously it's a terrible idea--for you, since you are having misgivings about it. If something feels wrong, then it probably IS wrong. I hope this was helpful. yours in Chaos, Scarlett Obviously, repeating myself from the above post. Firstly, it is a generic question. Not a wrestling match between my virtues and my lustuous ego... The thing I find interesting about the posts on here (on this topic) is that on the one hand from what I read people are very ... how shall I say ... standing on the higher ground, on the other hand what I see outside day by day is quite the opposite. Well, the answer to why that is is quite simple. To consider a situation and offer advice is one thing. To be caught up in the feelings and emotions of it, and still make said decision based on logic is a rare trait indeed. Not everyone does what they should..........or even what they personally know is "right", but it's all good, because they will learn from it, eventually, even if it takes ten years and twenty failed relationships.....either that or they will never have a happy, successful relationships......either way, it's their life. |
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