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| Topic: Is it morally acceptable if ... | |
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Depends on if it is socially morally acceptable or your own morals that you are considering. Come again I was saying that if it's your morals, then you are the only one to answer that question. If it's societies' that you wonder about...typically most people frown upon it. As a rule, what you say is politically correct. But in the heat of the moment and all is true... could be a bit of a dilemma... When you are the one being cheated on, then it isn't a nice thing or morally acceptable, but when you are in the other seat... Values change SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite. Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around. P.S. You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life. But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question. NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it. P.S. The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after? I see where you are coming from... but generally speaking. If I/They  (being the one outside the relationship) developed something quite innocently with that person and it turns out the other person in that relationship was hanging on just for the sake of it and knowing it was probably a sinking ship anyway, from what you are saying, who is the main offender? Me/They? Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you. If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy). If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect. You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo. If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants. IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice. IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes. For somebody with such a frown in her picture.. You speak a lot of sense... For the record it is a generic question. Thanks. but u may want to take another look, it isn't a "frown" but a half smile............. My face is simply relaxed, and I have other pics on my profile of me "smiling". I find it interesting though, how different people associate different "emotions" or "expressions" to a picture that lacks it. I have been told I look upset.......but I wasn't. Anyhoo, please do carry on with the OP. yeah I tend to 'half-smile' a lot... not that anybody gets it.. I hadn't actually checked your profile yet, as judging from some of the responses on this, I would get the cops on my ass for perving!! Only messing... You are (again) right, it is truely amazing how people respond to a morily sensative issue... Obviously the safest place to be is on a high horse LoL Carry on with the OP? |
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In other words, me quoting you......making mention about my pic, etc. was "off topic" and I didn't want to sidetrack or seem disrespectful to said topic.
:) |
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Let me ask you a question, how would you feel if someone else were to go after your girlfriend because they felt there was chemistry between them?
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The thing I find interesting about the posts on here (on this topic) is that on the one hand from what I read people are very ... how shall I say ... standing on the higher ground, on the other hand what I see outside day by day is quite the opposite. I hope you're not accusing me of standing on some kind of "moral high ground". And as I mentioned, I gave you the kind of answer I would give a friend, or anybody, who came to me personally and asked same. And--possibly a more interesting question--how exactly do you know that any of these people is violating his or her own personal standards? If you are using this topic as a means to accuse various members of hypocrisy, that would seem to me to be a rather pointless waste of everyone's time. If you can't be a hypocrite on the internet, where CAN you be a hypocrite? Most people are going to say they don't think "cheating" (I generally avoid that word, but just to use a common term understood by all) is a great idea because they know it feels bad to be "cheated" on. "Chemistry"--in case I didn't make myself clear enough, is an EXCUSE for committing acts that may potentially cause pain for those one cares about, and therefore I discard it as a rationale for my actions. Chemistry when used as a justification for harmful actions is of course bullsh1t. Something as pretty as a flame appeals to a child's "chemistry" but he's damned sure going to learn not to put his hand in it sooner or later, regardless. Since it seems that you are asking what I would do, personally, when faced with this type of dilemma: I would weigh all the options and consider all the possible consequences before acting. Once I had decided on a course of action, I would carry it out. It might involve forgetting about the whole thing, or it might involve me acting on my impulse to get involved with the other person. Regardless, "morality" is not going to figure into my thought on the matter. |
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In other words, me quoting you......making mention about my pic, etc. was "off topic" and I didn't want to sidetrack or seem disrespectful to said topic. :) Aah... talk about creative writing
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Let me ask you a question, how would you feel if someone else were to go after your girlfriend because they felt there was chemistry between them? Has already happened... I stood aside (obviously not in the way that I put her hand in his), but I assessed the situation and decided to walk away. I didn't like doing it, but it felt the right thing to do at the time... |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? yes...absolutley...u should wait til they have broken up...otherwise it is total bull**** for the other |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? You mean going after a friends girlfriend/boyfriend? Kind of a grey zone for me...don't tend to fly over the grey zone. |
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i have had this situation happen to me where a guy came and romanced my woman until she fell for him....it is the worst thing that a guy can do
you will have chemistry with many people in your life, but does that mean that you should always act on it??? i have also been on the other side where i fell for a woman and she was in a relationship....i stayed her friend and tried not to do anything that i shouldn't...but in the end she fell for me even though i was trying to keep the two of them together it is not the right thing to do and you should know that it never turns out good for someone involved...and the chances point to you |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? You mean going after a friends girlfriend/boyfriend? Kind of a grey zone for me...don't tend to fly over the grey zone. Not necessarily a friends gf/bf... just somebody in a relationship... |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? You mean going after a friends girlfriend/boyfriend? Kind of a grey zone for me...don't tend to fly over the grey zone. Not necessarily a friends gf/bf... just somebody in a relationship... In a relationship? Also a grey zone for me, as well don't tend to fly over that one either. |
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... you go after somebody elses girlfriend/boyfriend if you are in to one another? My question is would you go after the other person for a LTR or just for sex. If it's just the sex, you're not much of a friend. If it's for a LTR, you'd better make sure it would be worth losing your friend over. If not, stay away. |
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