In principal you are right. But most people don't know when to call it quits when the time arrives and there is no way back in that particular relationship... for discussion sake, this situation could prevent two people who suit each other very from forming what could be an amazing relationship...

Fair point. I was pointing out the difference between what people say and what people do

if someone is in a relationship with another person but is still finding themselves interested in other people, then they are not happy and/or not seriously committed in which case they should not be in a relationship as it is not fair to the other person who may be committed to the relationship

Very true..........

How would you feel if someone did that to you? That's the question you should be asking yourself. If you wouldn't mind your friend and your SO sneaking around behind your back, lying, cheating and being all around jerks, then by all means go for it. But remember, what goes around comes around and karma is a female dog.

SOME people's own morality is subjective.....the key is whether or not you want to be a hypocrite.

Sure you can do as you wish/feel.......but yanno what? Feelings change, and rather quickly. Would you be ok with it being done to you?? Then you shouldn't do it to someone else. If you do, then you should be fully prepared to SUFFER the consequences, and it will come back around.

P.S.
You can have chemistry with several different people......chemistry isn't the basis of a relationship but is merely a factor. If you go around basing whether or not you should be with someone, or if their current relationship should matter......based on IF you have chemistry with them.......then you will have one screwed up life.

But anyhoo, you will/they will do what you will. Don't look to others to justify the deed. Obviously you feel it is wrong to some extent or you wouldn't have asked the question.

NOTE, many people have said that if you truly care for another person you will do what is best for them.....not yourself. IF you are simply into immediate gratification.....then go for it, but that gratification will not last long, and you will not have a healthy relationship based on trust, loyalty, respect, and true love. It will be based off of lust, deciet, sex, and selfishness.........but if that is what u are looking for in a relationship, go for it.

P.S.
The other person may go along with you in the "heat" of the moment, as you say, but ultimately when things are said and done.........will they trust you/you them......if you started off when they were "commited" to someone else??? If they can allow you to separate them and their current "love" then what is to keep them with you, especially when they won't respect you.......because you simply do what feels good at the time, with little regard to what happens after?

I would not!! but these days I think some people just do what they want without care

Ummmmmmm, then why doesn't that person simply break off the relationship they are unhappy with??? Betrayal.......some people are good at it.

If they are unhappy then they should break off the relationship.

First off if they will cheat with you they will cheat on you.

Secondly, why would you want in that drama?

Thirdly, who wants someone else's issues?

I agree, why stay with someone you don't want?

I see where you are coming from... but generally speaking. If I/They (being the one outside the relationship) developed something quite innocently with that person and it turns out the other person in that relationship was hanging on just for the sake of it and knowing it was probably a sinking ship anyway, from what you are saying, who is the main offender? Me/They?

Aah! this is it! You have hit it on the head. Look around you. The world is full of people in relationships which are doomed. They still stay in the relationship because they have either just got used to being with that person or they are afraid to be alone... How many people/friends relatives have you seen that are in a so called relationship but are constantly at each others throats??

Both, imo. Respect. If she chooses to "hang on" as you say, and you genuinely care......then she needs you to respect that as it is a boundary. It is her choice. If you go and try to mow her over by pursuing her yourself, though she hasn't decided to "give up" on the other relationship......it will only cause problems (that neither of you may be consciously aware of, except I am telling you now) in any relationship that will follow between the two of you.

If the relationship is becoming a "sucken ship" and you care for her.....be around and be supportive. Be "innocent" in ur relations to her. You can let her know how you feel, but that you respect that fact that she is in a relationship..... Make your own boundaries...and respect yourself. Are you interested in being with a woman who in essence is two timing you?? I mean, if she is still with him, but wants to be with you too.......then she really isn't as into you as she claims. If she was she would not be with the both of you at the same time (unless she is into polygamy).

If you want her to respect you (necessary in any long term successful relationship) then you must be a person who is worthy of respect.

You'd be surprised how much of a turn on self restraint can be to a woman.....but anyhoo.

If you go for her, and she has decided to hang on, then you are disrespecting her boundaries. If she is leading you on while holding onto the relationship.....then she is confused (or simply in if for instant gratification as well, in such case you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with) and needs time and space to find out what she wants.

IF you purue her you will pressure her to make a choice........rather than allow her to make a choice.

IMPORTANT: When I said, let her know how you feel, I don't mean "I'm in love with you.....bla blah blah." I mean, that you care about her, and that you respect any decision that she makes.

No one but the two people in a relationship will ever really understand it. Only they know why they're still together, and why it works or doesn't work for them. It's between the two of them and it should be left to the two of them to work out or end on their own.

I have a friend who is involved with a woman who I feel is totally wrong for him, she uses him and mistreats him- in my opinion. However, he thinks she's fabulous. I think he's a great guy that any woman would love to be with. However, she makes him happy, and that's all that's important. It's not my right, or my business, to question why he stays with her.

Whatever two people have is between them, and anyone who intentionally sabotages it is a jerk, and being naive- if their "love" was easy to break up, why would the new "love" they've allegedly found with you be any better? If they wanted out, truly wanted out, they'd end it. All that nonsense about not being sure and staying for the kids is bs, when you want out, you leave. If you indulge in "feelings" with this person, all you're doing is letting them have their cake, eat it too, and setting yourself up for a hell of a disappointment.

Do unto others....

My morals went out the window....yesterday.

Sure why not, who cares about values anyway....just take what you can get & screw the rest....& when it happens to you, you can whine & complain about how your a nice guy that got screwed

rut roh...