Let me give you a brief story of something and I want your honest to the
point thoughts on this please.
I have been seeing this man about 8 months and we were upfront and told
one another we do not want anything serious, We have become great sex
partners, Him and I started talking more and more sometimes hours at a
time, He is always telling me how he can not get close to a women and he
usues sex as his social contact with women. He has always been very
honest about his past and not being able to get into a relationship with
women on a emotional basis, I have always excepted this and have no
problem with this at all as again I am not looking for anything serious.
Latley it seems he is trying to get closer to me by the longer phone
calls and when we have sex he clings onto me like no other man has, he
doesnt talk about feelings and when we are done having sex we lay there
and if I start to move away he always pulls me closer. We never kiss as
I think that is to much of him showing emotion. It is almost like I am
getting mixed messages but I will not assume anything. Just want your
intake on this. Do any of you men have a hard time with feelings? If so
do you do the things I talked about even if you say you cant be
emotional towards a women?

youve been having sex for 8 months and never kissed thats weird ,i
think>>>

never had that problem.

I was with someone for 6 years that really didn't want to fall for
anyone, but at the end of everything he kept saying "I love you", and it
kept confusing me. Then he would call me later that day and make a
little comment to me just to upset me and let me know that things are
still a friendship level.
One night we had a very serious talk and he said how can we be together
for 6 years and us not have feeling for each other? I totally agreed, I
had already fell hard for this guy, he was my best friend. Then he
called me on Valentines day and said Happy Bang Day...Thats the last
time I talked to him...of course I had to tell him exactly how I felt
about him saying that to me, and how rude he was. I think men don't want
to get emotional involved, they are afraid of getting hurt.
All I can say to you, if you like this man, be careful if he is sending
mixed signals, because obviously he sounds like my best freind!! His
name isn't Dave is it?? haha

Hi Unsure,

Just wanted to say, I think his name was Roger...we weren't together as
long as all that. I wouln't put up with that sort of nonsense long. He
had to go!!

J

Ask him what's going on with his feelings for you and tell him you'r
getting mixed messages from him. Talk about it and don't be blaming.

If you and him just want to have a sexual relationship than make it
clear.

Men have an EXTREMELY hard time expressing their emotions.
We're brought up that we have to be strong and not let people
see the weak side of us. Personally, I don't think sharing
emotions makes you weak at all. I have no problem sharing my
emotions, I practically wear them on my sleeve. People usually
have no problem knowing how I feel or where I'm coming from.
As far as you and this guy, KISS!!! You're already having sex
with him. Would kissing him make you feel vulnerable? I will
say that this guy has crossed the line from casual sex
(friends with benefits) and has gone straight into relationship
land. In my opinion he's falling in love with you. Are you
in love with him or is it just that you're looking for someone
to have fun with with no strings attached? It sounds to me
like you two have to have a heart to heart talk and establish
how things are and where you want them to go. If you're gonna
continue to have sex with him tho by all means KISS!!!!

Him and I kissed the first time but not since, I love to kiss but I
think he is not one to kiss as it is a emotional tie. It isnt that he is
playing games as WE were BOTH upfront about not wanting anything serious
but I think emotions are getting involved and neither one of us are
really wanting or ready for that. I try to talk about it some times and
I think he is scared of not wanting to get hurt and isnt able or willing
to talk about this at all. It doesnt bring me down but sometimes mixed
messages are a pain in the ass.

me also.

Personally I think he is putting up a smoke screen. What he is telling
you is meant to keep you at a distance. He has probably been hurt badly
at some point in his past and it is his way of protecting himself from
emotional harm while still getting his physical needs met. He may very
well feel emotionally for you and hiding. If you do not want ANY
emotional attachment then, be careful - this may backfire for both of
you if you cannot communicate and get him to come out of the
smokescreen. Good luck!

he'll probably tell you in his time.

how do you feel about the change in the relationship?

Andrew Wee
www.WhoIsAndrewWee.com

Just talk to him about it because if you keep the situation inside all
to yourself when he's giving you those mixed situations...just ask him
and talk to him about it more....maybe he's also holding back from you
because he knows the rules of the road he and you went down and now he's
in away starting to understand you more and he wants to know more about
you because if it wasn't serious he wouldn't act the way he does towards
you in the 1st place!!!

Maybe he likes you and wants you but he doesn't maybe know how to open
up or where to start and he feels uncomfortable talking about the
issue...

But from what you are talking about it looks like he's got it bad for
you =)

Or maybe its like my situation USE to be. He is one of those type of
guys that don't like commitments, and when you are having sex, he feels
very close to you and thinks he wants more. Men are very complicated to
understand!!
I guess men can say that about us women also, I just think you should
talk to him and tell him that he is sending you some signs and you just
wanted to find out where he is coming from. But then again, if you don't
really want more....don't say a word. It kind of depends on what you
want, is it just sex or do you want more? I guess it depends also on
where you are coming from!!
I myself, would much rather have a relationship...but some people want
their freedom.

Well if he wants you...he will take you!!!

If you want him...TAKE HIM!!!

Think cavemen and cavegirl days ^_^

Thank you all. I think I am just going to leave it where it stands and
not really say anything as I am OK where things are at with him and I. I
personally know he would not be the type of man I would want a
relationship with as he can not offer the things I want emotionally. but
it is the best sex I have ever had so I dont think I will give that part
up. When he is ready to talk I will but I will not initiate it. Thanks
again!