This topic is being discussed in a group I am in so I thought I would post it here as well and get your thoughts...here are mine...


This phrase eats at my core, it's like nails on chalkboard to me whenever I hear it. I know there are a whole group of kids out there who have had to endure abuse; mental, physical and sexual, because this idea was so fiercely taught in their homes.

I do not believe anyone should be afforded respect based solely on their age, station or position in life. So many abusers count on this, i.e., priests/pastors, coaches, teachers, etc., to help conceal their atrocities to children.

In fact, I do not think anyone should be afforded respect until such time that they have earned it and that can only come with time spent together getting to know someone to discover if they are indeed worthy of our respect. The only person we are obligated to respect is ourselves and when we conduct our lives in that manner we are more equipped to recognize those in our lives who truly deserve our respect.

i had a policeman harass me and my friends once when i was about 11. and my daddy always told me dont repect anyone who does not respect me back!

I agree and disagree.

I believe we all should afford people a certain amount of respect because they deserve it as people.

Until they do something that shows you they don't deserve your respect.

But that doesn't mean you automatically put up with **** either. You have to have a certain amount of respect for yourself and teach your kids to have that respect for themselves, and not let people take advantage of them.

Elders and authority figures should be treated with more respect, unless they don't deserve it because of misuse of their knowledge or authority.

You have to find the balance and walk on that line.

while our parents and other adults, just like any human being should be treated with a general respect, people need to remember that respect doesnt necesarily mean power.
following general manners is sufficent.
what needs to taught is the ability to tell the difference between giving respect and being able to tell what is good for you.

oh this post is gonna hit home base to a bunch on here

I was raised on that, and indeed, an "elder" disrespected my body when I was 13. My aunt and uncle asked me to be nice and sit on this older man's lap. Uncomfortably, I did. And sure enough, this creepy thin smelly man with grey teeth was trying to grab and fondle away!!

So, I have warned my kids that just because someone is older doesn't mean they are angelic or worthy of instant respect.

Just being a person does not get my respect, being a good person does, but I don't know that until I spend time with you.

Respect for me is earned. Trust, on the other hand is assumed from the get go until you prove me wrong.

Perfect example. I am sorry that happened to you and glad you did not pass this idiotic, unreasonable theory to your kids.

To me what you are describing is manners and being polite, which I believe everyone deserves to be treated with, but think you can do this and still do not have to necessarily respect the person.

I was thought that and I thaught my children that with the aspect of it not being correct to all. Use the better judgement rule applies to all concerned....

Ok... I see what you're saying but how are you ever supposed to get to know anyone or know that they are or aren't a good person if at first you start off with disrespect? I treat everyone with respect until they have given me a reason not to. New people start off with a clean slate as far as I'm concerned. I don't judge someone or deem them not worthy of my respect until they have proven they don't deserve it. ALL Elders should not just get respect just because they're Elders. But until you know differently about someone, you should offer a piece of human decency.

Policeman! Another perfect example.

I am sorry you experienced this. God bless your father!

sorry skipper,,,,,,,,but perverts come at all ages,,,not just dirty ol men,,,,,,,,,i think jill got it as about as close to th truth as can be,,,,,,,,,,,but some people just don't have no respect for any one,regadless of age,,race or anything elese,,,,,glad i'm not gonna be one of there children

I have always respected my elders.The problem with this country is we don't respect them enough.As for creepy elders my son knows better than to let someone touch him inappropriately and has been told to report it to me or a teacher.
My son is taught to show respect to all people.Treat folks with respect and you get it back.If not ,toss them to the curb.They are not worth a ****.

I so disagree with the statement that we do not respect them enough. It's the unearned respect that has allowed many of them to hide their abuse of children.

I think many people of all ages have earned our respect through their contributions and sacrifices, but respect based solely on age, position and station I just can't buy into.

And I agree with boneyjoe, abusers come at all ages...this phrase was just used to make a point.

Not every older person is an abuser. Some are...some aren't. I was taught to respect people older than myself as a child. I still do most of the time. I have an uncle who is a judge and does not deserve the respect he gets by most people.

I am absolutely not saying every older person is an abuser. I'm saying for those that are this theory is allowing them to get away with it.

Your second statement about your uncle just proves my point.

'Respect is earned, not given out like a birthday card.' That being said I only really respect my mother and a few other individuals as my respect is a very guarded trait.

the quote" Respect Your Elders" was a term invented by early settlers to control children but in the same regard to use manners.Back then if a person was to talk back, not follow an older persons advice, or become opinionated towards an older person...that child was actually labeled a black sheep an eventually would be ostrized from the church, community and/or settlement