i rushed n to fast the last time next time going in slow

guess u would have to know what u are waiting for? meaning until
communiation happens ...why bother to wait unless ya knew?

i once waited 30 years for this woman i was chasing to make her mind up.

so would u do that again shadow?

I think it’s more event based than time based. My view is that I need to
experience this person to know who they are. Two months of emails &
phone calls doesn’t equal 2 months of making dinners together. If you
haven’t had a disagreement to work through then how do ya know how the
person will be in the long when the euphoria wears off?

I somewhat agree
Although I have waited a long time, I think that it does not matter what
your relationship is..it should be progressing to some degree. If you
are at the same point in a year, maybe you should re-evaluate it.

I would look and see if there is any progress forward in the
relationship....if after a few months, things are still at a
standstill?...then something needs to change.

Agree with both of ya, forward movement is necessary in a live
relationship.

ABSOLUTELY! If there's no progression, then there's no sense in carrying
a torch for someone forever.

I don't think you can set a definate time frame on relationships. You
take it as it comes and see what evolves. It might end up being forever,
you just never know when that person will come along. No ultimatums
though, not cool to put someone on the spot like that. Try talking to
them and finding out why they feel the way they do, remember
communication lol

I think peg is right o this one, the sloooower the better ;-)

Funfella, I'm not talking about waiting until a person comes along, I'm
talking about someone who's already there. Again, as my first post said,
I'm talking about someone whom you know has feelings for you already,
but who will not (or cannot, for whatever reason) make a commitment.

When I say "commitment" (in case there's a doubt as to what I mean) I
mean, dating/living with/marrying/being with/sleeping with that person
exclusively.

And for me, no way in hell would I wait an inordinately long period of
time for someone to make a commitment to me. I don't really have a
specific timeframe on it, because how long I would wait would depend on
various factors, but I do know I wouldn't wait an "eternity." That'd be
ridiculous, IMHO.

If your lucky enogh to find someone who "cares a lot about you", then be
damn happy!!!!

To me, someone who cares a lot about you but is not willing to make a
commitment to you is "merely" a friend. And of course we should be
grateful for our friends, but this thread is about making commitments,
not making friends.

I would never wait for a man for a long period of time to decide whether
or not he thinks I'm worthy of being faithful to and/or of making a
commitment to me.

Well what i think is that for a relationship to reach to a point of
comitment first you have to realize that there are things that you must
have in order for it to work and to develop those things it takes time
because you can't rush or else things or else your boyfriend/girlfriend
might feel uncomfortable and they will want out and when that happens
the person ending up getting hurt is you.

Everybody is different especially when it comes to the time element. It
took hubby two years to finally ask me out....you want to talk about
patience.

If I were to decide that time was up, I would quietly move on. Giving
them an ultimatum could have some ugly reprecussions. you don't want
that to come back and bite ya....

If it wasn't meant to be simply move on rather than sit there and wait.
Obviously that person is not sure and therefore cannot make a decision
to move on in life. Why let this person hold you back, get back out in
the game....

I rushed in to a relationship, and only had problems
before I knew I had a daughter and I was only 18, I love my daughter,
but her mother and I had lots of differences and it didn't work between
us.

Well...I was the one who was the noncommitting type. Took 10yrs b4
saying yes to the WASbund. Once we were married it ruined the
relationship.

How long would I wait now? I am in no rush. I dont want a man i can live
with...i want the one i cant live without!

not very long!

I will START to silently make arrangements to have the person replace me
with someone who does not want a long term relationship just as my
friend, so that I can proceed to seek someone who wants a long term
relationship JUST like I do.