So I'm going through my divorce and I meet a girl at work who is a lot younger than me but is very adult as she lives on her own, works two jobs so she can live in a house with her two dogs and generally has her sh*t together. We connected at a level where I have never been before and I love being with her. Since my divorce is only filed, I have not had sex with her, I'm kind of old fashioned that way When we are on, it is like a drug! We have had so many good times and from what she has said, I'm what she is looking for but she then pushes me away. She has been hurt in her life so I treat her with a lot of respect and let things move at her pace. We have had a lot of talks but she still acts like she doesn't know what she is looking for. Monday she wants to be with me, Tuesday she ignores me. I don't know what to do, she has told me she is the closest with me than any other guy she has had in her life, yet she pushes me away out of the blue and I have no idea what I did wrong. Should I just move on to more mature women? It will be hard, but I can't take this in my life right now

Yep....run like h*ll....she is using you as a convenience to keep herself from being bored....don't let her get by with it...mature...I think not

I think shes been hurt before but really likes you. But when things get to chummy she pushes you away afraid of being hurt again.. hang in there but go slow. You just might be on the rebound.. Going thru a divorce is HELL ! JMO.

A girl I met on Mutual Match stole my car

Give her one last chance by confronting her with your worries, maybe she will realize and be real with her feelings, just don't drop her like a hot cake .

You sound too nice to do such a thing

Lay low and give her time to figure out what she wants. Maybe stop the physical stuff, just talk on the phone or have lunch once or twice a week, but no sucking face. Tell her you want to cut out physical stuff until she has made up her mind because you don't want to be used. Stay friends with her.Be nice.

You kid...

Well... for starters, I can see why she is being skeptical, you are in fact still married "legally", papers have just been filed. I personally would be very leary in that situation, not saying that your feelings for her aren't real.. but I prefer a significant amount of time of a man being single after a divorce is final. I want to make sure this person has healed from any heartache and wounds. I want to make sure that his heart can be all mine! I would say that you have a lot of emotional things to go through before you could commit to another relationship totally. Right now she can't have you 100%.

Okay, sorry, but two jobs to afford a house could also be hiding as really having two jobs to have less time for relationships because of past issues. I finally decided that the house wasn't worth staying at a job that was killing me nor was it worth working two jobs and spending my time of sleeping, so I would have the energy to work two jobs again the next week.

Sounds like she hasn't dealt with the past. And even when a person has dealt with past hurts, it will usually still be there, in a small way. Because it has shaped who they are now.

Anyway, it sounds very much like she is pushing you away before you leave her. The self-fulfilling prophecy. You can choose to move on. You have enough drama and stress with the divorce. Or you can choose to stay and try to help her move past the past. Which means work and emotional stress and drama.

Up to you to decide what you can take. Sounds like you have already decided you don't think you can take that kind of stress right now.

My opinion is...absolutely move on. From your description - she sounds as if she doesn't know what she wants. I remember being "young" and going thru the same feelings... I'd move closer to him and back off. I would search for that "one" somewhat closer to your age to date, but keep her as a friend..who knows, she may mature!!

I think it really depends on how young she is... is her brain even done developing yet? Young people think they know what they want but they get bored really quickly!

Great advice, thanks. Yeah I have become too close and gained too much of her trust to drop her like a bad habit, doing so would be cruel and make her future relationships hell. I love her, but I want HER to be happy. When I laid out my feelings for her, I told her to think about it, don't commit under obligation or what ever other reasons, commit for what is best for you and us. Maybe she is just being quiet thinking things through.

I agree.

Crap! I've let her use my Jeep more than once!

Because she has been so hurt before, you scare her, and she likely reacts with the hot and cold because she is scared of her feelings toward you. BUT, you do what you need to do to protect yourself, short of being a jerk.

my man give her space let her miss u this is where she ll think about the relationship and she ll come to u whenever shes ready and stop acting desperate

Don't be so needy.
Neediness is a major turnoff.

Get you Poop together first... Your Ex and all that other stuff.

Ignore her.......makes women crazy!!! But then again if you do it too long it will make her mad!!!

that's why I only talk to you about every 3-6 months..