Community > General Discussion

Topic: Is marriage that big of
No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 04:10 PM Edited by No1sLove on Tue 06/17/08 04:12 PM
I know (((Angel))) And to change your name would be very different I would think than if you'd been divorced. I'm just saying that you would not share your kids name if you'd not signed the papers with your husband. So though the papers don't make the marriage, they do give your family one name. If I'd already had kids with someone, I'd prolly have a lot of reasons to feel differently about it, but since it's my first and there could be kids from it...maybe...the papers are important to me as well as the commitment. But the commitment is what truly makes the marriage...no doubt. She would still have the same last name as her children if she had not married. The children would have had her maiden name as their last name if she hadn't married their father. Or is this another one of those things that is different in the South? I just thought the child always takes the fathers name. I'm from KC and that's the most common there. My sister has two kids with two different last names and she took the last name of her third husband, so now they all have different names. I guess if the father does not sign the birth certificate it would automatically be given the mothers name though.

Sir_Galahad Joined Tue 05/27/08 Posts: 600	Tue 06/17/08 04:12 PM
not if the father isn't present...he actually has to AGREE for the child to get his name.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Tue 06/17/08 04:13 PM
The children could have kept mom's name if dad agreed on it, or didn't want to be around, they didn't have to have his name. If her husband adopts the kids, they could all have the same name again, but that might be asking too much from the husband.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 04:13 PM
not if the father isn't present...he actually has to AGREE for the child to get his name. Sorry...I just edited to include that scenario. But if married in KC...child gets the fathers name automatically, and in the case of a divorce you would have to file papers to legally change it I believe.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Tue 06/17/08 04:14 PM
If it was just paper I could have burned it. Unfortunately I had to pay for a divorce. Marriage is a contract with THE STATE. Don't do it.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 04:15 PM
If it was just paper I could have burned it. Unfortunately I had to pay for a divorce. Marriage is a contract with THE STATE. Don't do it. I was waiting for you to show up.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 04:15 PM
The children could have kept mom's name if dad agreed on it, or didn't want to be around, they didn't have to have his name. If her husband adopts the kids, they could all have the same name again, but that might be asking too much from the husband. My sisters husband wanted to adopt them both, but neither father would agree to it even though they are both very absent since each of their divorces. I don't see how it's fair to the kids to leave that strictly up to the father.

Sir_Galahad Joined Tue 05/27/08 Posts: 600	Tue 06/17/08 04:16 PM
no problem. my kid doesn't have my name. there's no GUARANTEE it's mine, but I fully believe it is, after all, she does resemble my niece, so it would appear to be mine.

Redshirt Joined Tue 02/26/08 Posts: 2109	Tue 06/17/08 04:17 PM
Do you need a piece of paper to tell someone you want to spend your life with them? NO. Sometime research the history of marriage. Began as a covenant between a man and woman and God. Then the governments got involved and screwed it all up.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Tue 06/17/08 04:18 PM
If it was just paper I could have burned it. Unfortunately I had to pay for a divorce. Marriage is a contract with THE STATE. Don't do it. I was waiting for you to show up. DON'T DO IT PEOPLE!! ITS A TRAP!!!!!

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 04:20 PM
If it was just paper I could have burned it. Unfortunately I had to pay for a divorce. Marriage is a contract with THE STATE. Don't do it. I was waiting for you to show up. DON'T DO IT PEOPLE!! ITS A TRAP!!!!! HA!

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Tue 06/17/08 04:21 PM
Do you need a piece of paper to tell someone you want to spend your life with them? NO. Sometime research the history of marriage. Began as a covenant between a man and woman and God. Then the governments got involved and screwed it all up. No, it was never between man, a woman and god. It was a covenant between a female human, a male human and the alien Slave Master who wanted to control the breeding of slaves for the empire. God had nothing to do with it. JB

Rapunzel Joined Tue 08/22/06 Posts: 16246	Tue 06/17/08 04:22 PM Edited by Rapunzel on Tue 06/17/08 04:35 PM
i 'm not laughing at you Jeannie... it just sounded so funny what you said

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 04:35 PM
Do you need a piece of paper to tell someone you want to spend your life with them? NO. Sometime research the history of marriage. Began as a covenant between a man and woman and God. Then the governments got involved and screwed it all up. That is true in my mind as well, but our society makes it difficult to function as a family without going through the paperwork...insurance, hospitalization, last wishes, in some states you can't sign a lease together and only the lease holder can legally live there..I've experience that in the south myself a few years ago....and even picking your own kid up from school is a hassle if you don't have the same last name.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Tue 06/17/08 04:38 PM
i 'm not laughing at you Jeannie... it just sounded so funny what you said Of course it does. (I believe it though.) I do realize how funny it sounds to people though. That's okay with me. Its good to laugh. JB

Redshirt Joined Tue 02/26/08 Posts: 2109	Tue 06/17/08 04:40 PM
It is strange that in some states two people of the same sex can both sign a lease. But people of the oppisite sex can't.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 05:02 PM
It is strange that in some states two people of the same sex can both sign a lease. But people of the oppisite sex can't. Traveling like I do, I see some pretty strange stuff sometimes. Try a dry county that allows you to bring your own liquor into the restaurants, refrigerate it for you and serve it to you too...they just can't sell it! BTW...we were so mad about the apartment thing, we bought out the lease, so they only got two months of a 12 month term. I researched it first, convinced that I would be able to show them where the law does not support that policy...but it did in fact.

MomLookingAround Joined Sat 06/14/08 Posts: 44	Tue 06/17/08 05:06 PM
Why should the Government have control over a religious ceromony? I don't think the government does. I think that Christian values determine the committment to vows taken. The "just the paper part" is controlled by the government.

Rapunzel Joined Tue 08/22/06 Posts: 16246	Tue 06/17/08 05:49 PM Edited by Rapunzel on Tue 06/17/08 05:49 PM
i 'm not laughing at you Jeannie... it just sounded so funny what you said Of course it does. (I believe it though.) I do realize how funny it sounds to people though. That's okay with me. Its good to laugh. JB yes, it is very good to laugh ... and just as much as i wish to be respected for my beliefs i also respect you ~ for your beliefs, too

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Tue 06/17/08 05:59 PM
I know (((Angel))) And to change your name would be very different I would think than if you'd been divorced. I'm just saying that you would not share your kids name if you'd not signed the papers with your husband. So though the papers don't make the marriage, they do give your family one name. If I'd already had kids with someone, I'd prolly have a lot of reasons to feel differently about it, but since it's my first and there could be kids from it...maybe...the papers are important to me as well as the commitment. But the commitment is what truly makes the marriage...no doubt. She would still have the same last name as her children if she had not married. The children would have had her maiden name as their last name if she hadn't married their father. Or is this another one of those things that is different in the South? I just thought the child always takes the fathers name. I'm from KC and that's the most common there. My sister has two kids with two different last names and she took the last name of her third husband, so now they all have different names. I guess if the father does not sign the birth certificate it would automatically be given the mothers name though. My parents never got married, and I ended up taking my mom's last name for whatever it's worth.