Community > General Discussion

Topic: Is marriage that big of
hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:17 PM
I try not to make my life choices based on the worst case scenarios.. if you're scared to take risks because of what could happen then you'll never experience anything.. I know that theres a good chance that I won't get my "fairytale happily ever after" but if I find someone that I am confident in my relationship with enough to marry then I think I have a good chance of working towards an outcome that I can be happy with. I also know it takes a lot of work. I'm the type of person that's very committed in everything I do. My first relationship lasted 4 years if that's any indication of how I look at life and love. Well, I took risks twice and got divorced twice. Best laid plans, and all. I was just as confident and committed as anyone else. Sometimes things don't work out the way you would like. I managed to live with someone for nine years; which was longer than my marriages put together. You just never know.

antimatter_16 Joined Sat 05/10/08 Posts: 152	Tue 06/17/08 02:18 PM
I think there are two parts of commitment in marriage. There's the signing of the legal contract, and then there's the emotional commitment someone makes to a person when they ask or accept a marriage proposal. The paper gives legal protection and benefits for the couple. In my opinion, it means as much as is materially invested in the relationship, which can either be a lot or little. It also helps to handle issues that need to be settled if divorce occurs. The emotional commitment is a sacred promise that states that the person will be committed to working problems out, supporting each other. Essentially the wedding vows. I guess a lot of people try to make the emotional commitment and fail, and others don't care to try. They just go through the motions. According to what I've read, the most important thing which determines whether a relationship will work out is how devoted both are to the relationship.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 02:18 PM
It is...or it should be. I don't think enough people understand the meanng of the phrase til death us do part anymore. We live in a disposable world and marriage has just become something else to throw away. But here is the thing..how do I know how I am going to feel 10 years down the road? The future holds no guarantees. Do you stay married forever and live a life of misery because you made an error in judgement? It hardly seems fair. (((Hiker))) My definition of marriage...two people who would rather die than to see the other miserable. But then again, my own expectations of marriage are the very reasons I am Miss No1slove and not Mrs. or Ms.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:19 PM
Marriage originated as a religious ceromony and was taken over by the government to make it a legal one. But if you could only marry within the auspices of religion, then non-religious people would not be allowed to marry. That hardly seems fair. A civil union provides certain legal protection. I am just telling you were religious ceromony originated. There was once no paper, no clerk of court, no lawyers...people would walk out under the open sky and vow themselves to one another...so, why should we now feel such an affection for a hijacked ceromony? I do not see why the Government should control it. Allow people to control their own lives. If two wish to be joined, allow them to do so in whatever manner they deem fit. Be it religious, spiritual, magical...or even comical I think people are allowed to be joined however they want..it's called living together, or common law marriage. Not in all states. Georgia is one state that does not recognize common law...and there are several other states as well. and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? Cases usually come up in family disputes where a jilted husband or wife learns of a mate living with someone and actually has a warrant issued. Cases have been adjudicated in the courts.

Sir_Galahad Joined Tue 05/27/08 Posts: 600	Tue 06/17/08 02:19 PM
and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? I don't know, but a South Carolina woman, where they bar cohabitation and don't permit common law marriage, was fired from her job last year AND charged for cohabitation.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:26 PM
and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? I don't know, but a South Carolina woman, where they bar cohabitation and don't permit common law marriage, was fired from her job last year AND charged for cohabitation. yup, common here in southern states. you northerners just don't know all the laws down here.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 02:27 PM Edited by No1sLove on Tue 06/17/08 02:28 PM
and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? I don't know, but a South Carolina woman, where they bar cohabitation and don't permit common law marriage, was fired from her job last year AND charged for cohabitation. I don't know what they are now, but I used to manage an apartment complex in KY about 15 years ago...and cohabitation was illegal there as well. Two women or men could not share a one bedroom apartment. Like having an extra bedroom would have stopped them.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:28 PM
The Government needs to get out of people's bedrooms

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:30 PM
Marriage originated as a religious ceromony and was taken over by the government to make it a legal one. But if you could only marry within the auspices of religion, then non-religious people would not be allowed to marry. That hardly seems fair. A civil union provides certain legal protection. I am just telling you were religious ceromony originated. There was once no paper, no clerk of court, no lawyers...people would walk out under the open sky and vow themselves to one another...so, why should we now feel such an affection for a hijacked ceromony? I do not see why the Government should control it. Allow people to control their own lives. If two wish to be joined, allow them to do so in whatever manner they deem fit. Be it religious, spiritual, magical...or even comical I think people are allowed to be joined however they want..it's called living together, or common law marriage. Not in all states. Georgia is one state that does not recognize common law...and there are several other states as well. and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? Cases usually come up in family disputes where a jilted husband or wife learns of a mate living with someone and actually has a warrant issued. Cases have been adjudicated in the courts. Well, if the person is already married to someone else then it is some sort of abandonment. I am talking about two people who are not married to others, who decide they want to live together. Who can stop them?

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:31 PM
and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? I don't know, but a South Carolina woman, where they bar cohabitation and don't permit common law marriage, was fired from her job last year AND charged for cohabitation. yup, common here in southern states. you northerners just don't know all the laws down here. wow. We have a Constitution up here in the North to protect us, I guess. I thought it extended to all the states. That is crazy!!! Sorry for you guys.

No1sLove Joined Wed 04/16/08 Posts: 10342	Tue 06/17/08 02:32 PM
The Government needs to get out of people's bedrooms I agree ((Angel)), they are already screwing us everywhere else, they don't really need to be in our bedrooms too.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:32 PM
The Government needs to get out of people's bedrooms Yes, I agree!

Sir_Galahad Joined Tue 05/27/08 Posts: 600	Tue 06/17/08 02:34 PM
Cohabitation is illegal in Florida too BUT it usually isn't enforced. Now, for tax purposes, if you cohabit and the laws PERMIT it, you CAN claim that person as a dependent, if they meet the other qualifications. Here in Florida, you can't.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:34 PM
Marriage originated as a religious ceromony and was taken over by the government to make it a legal one. But if you could only marry within the auspices of religion, then non-religious people would not be allowed to marry. That hardly seems fair. A civil union provides certain legal protection. I am just telling you were religious ceromony originated. There was once no paper, no clerk of court, no lawyers...people would walk out under the open sky and vow themselves to one another...so, why should we now feel such an affection for a hijacked ceromony? I do not see why the Government should control it. Allow people to control their own lives. If two wish to be joined, allow them to do so in whatever manner they deem fit. Be it religious, spiritual, magical...or even comical I think people are allowed to be joined however they want..it's called living together, or common law marriage. Not in all states. Georgia is one state that does not recognize common law...and there are several other states as well. and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? Cases usually come up in family disputes where a jilted husband or wife learns of a mate living with someone and actually has a warrant issued. Cases have been adjudicated in the courts. Well, if the person is already married to someone else then it is some sort of abandonment. I am talking about two people who are not married to others, who decide they want to live together. Who can stop them? I toldyou there is a law against cohabitation. If someone...let's say a disgruntle ex-spouse wanted to stir ****...all he/she owuld have to do is go to the local sheriff's office and file a complaint. The warrant would be take out and served. There would be a court date...then , there would have to be some show of evidence, but, could be proven and has been before. There are ways around it...and this in not a common occurence, but the law is still on the books and can be enforced.

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:35 PM
The Government needs to get out of people's bedrooms I agree ((Angel)), they are already screwing us everywhere else, they don't really need to be in our bedrooms too. HA! you got that right No1

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:36 PM
Marriage originated as a religious ceromony and was taken over by the government to make it a legal one. But if you could only marry within the auspices of religion, then non-religious people would not be allowed to marry. That hardly seems fair. A civil union provides certain legal protection. I am just telling you were religious ceromony originated. There was once no paper, no clerk of court, no lawyers...people would walk out under the open sky and vow themselves to one another...so, why should we now feel such an affection for a hijacked ceromony? I do not see why the Government should control it. Allow people to control their own lives. If two wish to be joined, allow them to do so in whatever manner they deem fit. Be it religious, spiritual, magical...or even comical I think people are allowed to be joined however they want..it's called living together, or common law marriage. Not in all states. Georgia is one state that does not recognize common law...and there are several other states as well. and they outlaw people making private vows and living with each other? How do they track it? Cases usually come up in family disputes where a jilted husband or wife learns of a mate living with someone and actually has a warrant issued. Cases have been adjudicated in the courts. Well, if the person is already married to someone else then it is some sort of abandonment. I am talking about two people who are not married to others, who decide they want to live together. Who can stop them? I toldyou there is a law against cohabitation. If someone...let's say a disgruntle ex-spouse wanted to stir ****...all he/she owuld have to do is go to the local sheriff's office and file a complaint. The warrant would be take out and served. There would be a court date...then , there would have to be some show of evidence, but, could be proven and has been before. There are ways around it...and this in not a common occurence, but the law is still on the books and can be enforced. I believe you but I find it unbelievable if that makes sense. Whose business is it who we sleep with ? That's creeping me out now. Note to Self: Stay North of the Mason-Dixon.

Rapunzel Joined Tue 08/22/06 Posts: 16246	Tue 06/17/08 02:41 PM Edited by Rapunzel on Tue 06/17/08 02:45 PM
The Government needs to get out of people's bedrooms yes that is true... however... Marriage was first a <God ordained> covenant & ceremony that really has nothing to do with the government and on another note... porn people need to find tons of class & decency... they need to find real self respect & integrity and quit < trying> to capitalize on everything and quit trying to turn everything that should be beautiful, sacred & private into something dirty, naughty & nasty & quit splattering their filth all over the media and quit infiltrating the entire world wide web with such filthy disgusting trash

lilangel2 Joined Wed 03/05/08 Posts: 9096	Tue 06/17/08 02:43 PM
Note to Self: Stay North of the Mason-Dixon. Yup, it is really creepy and kind of appalling this day and age.

hikerchick Joined Sat 12/22/07 Posts: 13206	Tue 06/17/08 02:46 PM
Yup, it is really creepy and kind of appalling this day and age. Thanks for schooling me..I learned something today.

kitcat87 Joined Thu 02/14/08 Posts: 290	Tue 06/17/08 02:46 PM
it use to be something special that lasts....now i think people think of marriage as a joke...i work in a law office and a few of our lawyers do family law...if half of these ppl would fight for their marriage like they do over pointless stuff so the other one can't have it, it still would