when the divorce comes around it is very painful

its the most nice pain your ever feel, I went with out any aid for pain, but soon as you see that little face its all worth it, then the rest of your life changes and yes your man does look at you different after the baby is here and its very hard to please him and getting lack of sleep, its great if your man helps some do some don't... I ran into walls I got no help waking up every two hours its not as nice as people make it I love my kids but life gets harder

My grandma once told me it feels like a mack truck running over your insides.

This is how Carol Burnett described it;

"Grab your bottom lip, and pull it over your head".

Every womans experience is different and everyones pain tolerance is different. I've heard stories where there was no pain at all. Epidurals don't always help. My epidural just made me numb from my feet to my crotch but all the pain was in my back and stomache!
My first kid....it hurt like hell. I was crying, I was puking, I was tossing and turning in agonizing pain for fourteen hours of intense contractions that didn't seem to be doing anything to get the baby out of me.
But lets back up. Giving birth isn't the only painful part of pregnancy. People don't seem to understand that throughout the pregnancy you are in pain. It depends on how good of shape you are in to begin with. My husband is an idiot. He thinks having a baby is no big deal. He thinks carrying one around for nine months isn't a big deal because the baby is only seven pounds and he says he can easily carry around seven pounds for nine months. HA! the baby, at the end, is somewhere close to seven pounds but then you have a four pound placenta, four to six pounds of fluids.... and it's not like strapping on a 17 pound weight around your waist because if you do that, to simulate being pregnant....you are using completely different muscles to hold that in place. do you know how sore your muscles get holding all that weight? and it's not dead weight either. it's a moving, wiggling, stretching and KICKING human being inside there....punching on your kidneys and bladder like it's a frickin trampoline. Your feet and ankles get swollen, you retain water and start getting puffy and feel uncomfortable and you have to deal with those LIARS who say you are beautiful and 'glowing' when you feel like you have some parasite eating you alive from the inside out!
k, so, there are some good parts to being pregnant......but right now I'm focusing on the negatives.
The stretch marks. OMG the f*cking stretch marks. And the breast pain. Do you KNOW how big my breasts got? I was 17 when I was pregnant with my first. My breasts got so engourged I couldn't stand my shirt grazing them. I'd take off my shirt and bra because they hurt but the gravity pulling on my heavy and milk-filled breasts hurt even more.....and here's insensitive ****-head husband wanting to have sex and begging me for sex and wanting to play with the new giant chest....I'd cry about my back and my feet and my liver that the baby kicked a little too hard and he'd just smile and remind me of what a great miracle pregnancy is. Most men have no clue.
okay, giving birth. Imagine sitting on the toilet and needing to go really bad. Really bad, like diarrhea bad. Ever have a really hard stool and ever been really horribly constipated? okay, not add all kinds of immense pressure to an engourged torso....because when you are nine months along your belly is so big your boobs are sitting on it. IT's hard to breathe, too. The contractions....you feel like you are going to burst open at the seems with each one. You literally start grabbing at your sides because it hurts so bad you wonder if maybe something is wrong, because no way can anything hurt THIS bad....you start panicking wondering if your skin is going to just start ripping apart...this baby is just going to burst out of you and kill you.....
your cervix is dialating. Another misconception my husband has....he thinks that the cervix just opens up and the baby comes out and 'what could possibly hurt so much about that?'
well.....it's a hole, a tiny tiny hole just big enough for sperm to pass through......then, when in labor, it starts to stretch and open. Not like a door you retarded MEN! it's a gradual, painful, muscle contracting process that slowly starts thinning and spreading a hole open. imagine the tiny hole of your penis opening. It's a sensitive place that HURTS when it starts openning. Then, when it's stretched as big as it can get and is extremely sensitive and hurts...this baby's head starts moving through it and at this point you just want to DIE. You either want the doctor to reach in and pull this kid out as fast as possible or you want to change your mind and just let them cut into your stomache to pull the thing out that way because THIS is too much to handle. It's like you have an open wound and you don't want to touch it because it's fresh and raw and hurts. Ya, well, this cervix that just went through hours of hell to open up now has a skull rubbing against it trying to get out. You push and push and the baby starts to come out but then you can't breathe or push anymore and need to stop to take a breath and....guess what? you pushed the baby an inch, he slides back two inches. You do it again .... not because you have a choice...at this point it's push or die of pain. It's give it all you got or give up completely. This is where true strenght comes in. You think passing a hard stool while you are constipated takes muscle and hard work? so you push....you push and you push and you are pushing so hard your head feels like it's going to explode right along with your stomache and it feels like you've pushed your intenstines out of your ass (I actually ended up pooping all over the place) Because at that point you don't care what is coming out so long as something is coming out. So then the baby moves forward that inch again....you don't want to lose that progress so while you stop to take a breath you keep your allready abused muscles tense and that is a whole different pain....try doing 1,000 sit ups. I guarantee after 50 or so the pain would be enough to make you give up....but if you give up you have this other pain that is motivating you to make yourself feel this pain in order to get it all out. Suddenly you become focused on one thing and one thing only : I WANT THE PAIN TO STOP! you finally get so fed up with it your next push has some adrenaline behind it. The doctor cheers 'I see the head! I can see the head!' and this makes you feel like you are getting somewhere so your next push is even stronger. you can feel the outside of your vagina sting like someone just poured salt into a wound....you feel pressure in your ass like your colon is inside out and for a split second you wonder if this baby really is going to split you right up the middle because if you get a chance to look down, as I did, and see in a mirror half of a babys head coming out of the same hole you were afraid to put a tiny tampon in as a little girl having her first period, or a two inch thick penis on your first sexual experience with a boy.....suddenly you see this gigantic head (okay, the babys head isn't too big but at this moment it IS) you wonder if your vagina will ever be the same again. But you push. you push and push. the head...they don't even have to say it you can feel that the head has come out and you get a minor break from the pain because the neck isn't as thick. Suddenly your body pushes with or without your consent...either that or the baby pushes with his legs....who knows? but the shoulders.....THATS the part that makes you SCREAM! I saw stars, everything went black...I couldn't tell if my eyes were shut or if we lost power in the hospital....no...it was just extreme pain that caused temporary blackness mixed with explosions of colors (it's possible to have a few blood vessles explode in your eyes from the straining). But in an instant it all DISAPPEARS! because guess what? there's a certain point you get stretched to that suddenly the nerves in and around your vagina go completely numb. The rest of the baby slides out and it actually feels GOOD...it's slippery and it feels soothing and when the baby is completely out the rush of cold air adds to the soothing effect. And you suddenly 'forget' everything you had just went through...you 'forget' it all temporarily and you are overcome by this wonderful feeling I can't even begin to explain....you hear that baby cry and it's like hearing angels sing. In my hospital, some are different, they believe babys need to be held ASAP both for the mothers and babys health. Certain hormones are released for each. And skin to skin contact is best. So you rip that hospital gown off and hold your baby to your chest. It's instant bonding. You can see that his head is all smushed and he's a funny color and he's nothing like you imagined and yet he's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your whole life and it's almost impossible to not cry while smiling like a drunken idiot. For me I kept saying 'oh my god look at him! look at him! he's so perfect! oh my god, oh my god'. I think I just looked at him and did that for ten minutes straight. Then you get some more contractions but 90% of the pressure is now gone and it doesn't hurt as much. feels like period cramping. You give 'birth' to the placenta now.
I felt great....I felt ready for everyone to come rush into the room and visit right after. I totally forgot about the 14 hours of pain I just went through. There is such an amazing rush of happyness and good feelings and excitement and unbelief that something so perfect came from you...that you created it...it's undescribable. and THAT is why people have more than one kid....even though it hurts like hell....it is amazing.
but, I have to tell you....your nerves repair themselves and you start to feel pain again. nothing as bad as what you went through in labor. But some aching and cramping and soreness. it's scary to have your first BM because you are terrified of pushing. They usually give you stool softners so your first poop doesn't cause you to have a panic attack. I remember it took me a good 3 months to quit freaking out about it when I needed to poop. It's like a bad nightmare...the labor.
My second pregnancy...I dreaded getting to the end. I actually cried almost every night during my last month because I knew what was coming. I lucked out. Two hours of contractions that didn't even hurt all that bad and then she came out so fast I hardly had time to scream. So for me the second was way easier. Still very painful....but quicker...so it wasnt' as bad. Do I want a third? hmmm...nobody WANTS to go through that kind of pain...but somewhere in your head you decide that its worth it. I think after each child you get stronger....mentally and all. it's not as scary when you know what to expect. I think the first time is terrible because it's a pain you can't really even imagine. You have to feel it to understand it. And for a good few weeks afterwards you do feel like you were hit by a mack truck or train. your whole body just feels so weak and stuff.
well...hope that was helpful.

great story, thankyou.