Community > Posts By > Mandygrrl

 
Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 07/02/08 02:45 PM
wow, nobody was really talkin on here so I just forgot about it but then out of curiosity I come and lo and behold three new people are chatting now. awesome.
:)
Lets get more people on here!

Mandygrrl's photo
Sat 06/14/08 01:28 AM
I'm sorry if I sounded angry in my reply. Rape is a topic I shouldn't even join in on. I've been molested and raped throughout my childhood mostly by family members and though I've moved on and become a stonger person for it...I guess it's still a deep down weekness I have that is the only trigger to unleash anger in me. Otherwise I'm not an angry person and I apologize for the way I presented my opinon on the subject. :heart:

Mandygrrl's photo
Sat 06/14/08 01:14 AM
Every womans experience is different and everyones pain tolerance is different. I've heard stories where there was no pain at all. Epidurals don't always help. My epidural just made me numb from my feet to my crotch but all the pain was in my back and stomache!
My first kid....it hurt like hell. I was crying, I was puking, I was tossing and turning in agonizing pain for fourteen hours of intense contractions that didn't seem to be doing anything to get the baby out of me.
But lets back up. Giving birth isn't the only painful part of pregnancy. People don't seem to understand that throughout the pregnancy you are in pain. It depends on how good of shape you are in to begin with. My husband is an idiot. He thinks having a baby is no big deal. He thinks carrying one around for nine months isn't a big deal because the baby is only seven pounds and he says he can easily carry around seven pounds for nine months. HA! the baby, at the end, is somewhere close to seven pounds but then you have a four pound placenta, four to six pounds of fluids.... and it's not like strapping on a 17 pound weight around your waist because if you do that, to simulate being pregnant....you are using completely different muscles to hold that in place. do you know how sore your muscles get holding all that weight? and it's not dead weight either. it's a moving, wiggling, stretching and KICKING human being inside there....punching on your kidneys and bladder like it's a frickin trampoline. Your feet and ankles get swollen, you retain water and start getting puffy and feel uncomfortable and you have to deal with those LIARS who say you are beautiful and 'glowing' when you feel like you have some parasite eating you alive from the inside out!
k, so, there are some good parts to being pregnant......but right now I'm focusing on the negatives.
The stretch marks. OMG the f*cking stretch marks. And the breast pain. Do you KNOW how big my breasts got? I was 17 when I was pregnant with my first. My breasts got so engourged I couldn't stand my shirt grazing them. I'd take off my shirt and bra because they hurt but the gravity pulling on my heavy and milk-filled breasts hurt even more.....and here's insensitive ****-head husband wanting to have sex and begging me for sex and wanting to play with the new giant chest....I'd cry about my back and my feet and my liver that the baby kicked a little too hard and he'd just smile and remind me of what a great miracle pregnancy is. Most men have no clue.
okay, giving birth. Imagine sitting on the toilet and needing to go really bad. Really bad, like diarrhea bad. Ever have a really hard stool and ever been really horribly constipated? okay, not add all kinds of immense pressure to an engourged torso....because when you are nine months along your belly is so big your boobs are sitting on it. IT's hard to breathe, too. The contractions....you feel like you are going to burst open at the seems with each one. You literally start grabbing at your sides because it hurts so bad you wonder if maybe something is wrong, because no way can anything hurt THIS bad....you start panicking wondering if your skin is going to just start ripping apart...this baby is just going to burst out of you and kill you.....
your cervix is dialating. Another misconception my husband has....he thinks that the cervix just opens up and the baby comes out and 'what could possibly hurt so much about that?'
well.....it's a hole, a tiny tiny hole just big enough for sperm to pass through......then, when in labor, it starts to stretch and open. Not like a door you retarded MEN! it's a gradual, painful, muscle contracting process that slowly starts thinning and spreading a hole open. imagine the tiny hole of your penis opening. It's a sensitive place that HURTS when it starts openning. Then, when it's stretched as big as it can get and is extremely sensitive and hurts...this baby's head starts moving through it and at this point you just want to DIE. You either want the doctor to reach in and pull this kid out as fast as possible or you want to change your mind and just let them cut into your stomache to pull the thing out that way because THIS is too much to handle. It's like you have an open wound and you don't want to touch it because it's fresh and raw and hurts. Ya, well, this cervix that just went through hours of hell to open up now has a skull rubbing against it trying to get out. You push and push and the baby starts to come out but then you can't breathe or push anymore and need to stop to take a breath and....guess what? you pushed the baby an inch, he slides back two inches. You do it again .... not because you have a choice...at this point it's push or die of pain. It's give it all you got or give up completely. This is where true strenght comes in. You think passing a hard stool while you are constipated takes muscle and hard work? so you push....you push and you push and you are pushing so hard your head feels like it's going to explode right along with your stomache and it feels like you've pushed your intenstines out of your ass (I actually ended up pooping all over the place) Because at that point you don't care what is coming out so long as something is coming out. So then the baby moves forward that inch again....you don't want to lose that progress so while you stop to take a breath you keep your allready abused muscles tense and that is a whole different pain....try doing 1,000 sit ups. I guarantee after 50 or so the pain would be enough to make you give up....but if you give up you have this other pain that is motivating you to make yourself feel this pain in order to get it all out. Suddenly you become focused on one thing and one thing only : I WANT THE PAIN TO STOP! you finally get so fed up with it your next push has some adrenaline behind it. The doctor cheers 'I see the head! I can see the head!' and this makes you feel like you are getting somewhere so your next push is even stronger. you can feel the outside of your vagina sting like someone just poured salt into a wound....you feel pressure in your ass like your colon is inside out and for a split second you wonder if this baby really is going to split you right up the middle because if you get a chance to look down, as I did, and see in a mirror half of a babys head coming out of the same hole you were afraid to put a tiny tampon in as a little girl having her first period, or a two inch thick penis on your first sexual experience with a boy.....suddenly you see this gigantic head (okay, the babys head isn't too big but at this moment it IS) you wonder if your vagina will ever be the same again. But you push. you push and push. the head...they don't even have to say it you can feel that the head has come out and you get a minor break from the pain because the neck isn't as thick. Suddenly your body pushes with or without your consent...either that or the baby pushes with his legs....who knows? but the shoulders.....THATS the part that makes you SCREAM! I saw stars, everything went black...I couldn't tell if my eyes were shut or if we lost power in the hospital....no...it was just extreme pain that caused temporary blackness mixed with explosions of colors (it's possible to have a few blood vessles explode in your eyes from the straining). But in an instant it all DISAPPEARS! because guess what? there's a certain point you get stretched to that suddenly the nerves in and around your vagina go completely numb. The rest of the baby slides out and it actually feels GOOD...it's slippery and it feels soothing and when the baby is completely out the rush of cold air adds to the soothing effect. And you suddenly 'forget' everything you had just went through...you 'forget' it all temporarily and you are overcome by this wonderful feeling I can't even begin to explain....you hear that baby cry and it's like hearing angels sing. In my hospital, some are different, they believe babys need to be held ASAP both for the mothers and babys health. Certain hormones are released for each. And skin to skin contact is best. So you rip that hospital gown off and hold your baby to your chest. It's instant bonding. You can see that his head is all smushed and he's a funny color and he's nothing like you imagined and yet he's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen in your whole life and it's almost impossible to not cry while smiling like a drunken idiot. For me I kept saying 'oh my god look at him! look at him! he's so perfect! oh my god, oh my god'. I think I just looked at him and did that for ten minutes straight. Then you get some more contractions but 90% of the pressure is now gone and it doesn't hurt as much. feels like period cramping. You give 'birth' to the placenta now.
I felt great....I felt ready for everyone to come rush into the room and visit right after. I totally forgot about the 14 hours of pain I just went through. There is such an amazing rush of happyness and good feelings and excitement and unbelief that something so perfect came from you...that you created it...it's undescribable. and THAT is why people have more than one kid....even though it hurts like hell....it is amazing.
but, I have to tell you....your nerves repair themselves and you start to feel pain again. nothing as bad as what you went through in labor. But some aching and cramping and soreness. it's scary to have your first BM because you are terrified of pushing. They usually give you stool softners so your first poop doesn't cause you to have a panic attack. I remember it took me a good 3 months to quit freaking out about it when I needed to poop. It's like a bad nightmare...the labor.
My second pregnancy...I dreaded getting to the end. I actually cried almost every night during my last month because I knew what was coming. I lucked out. Two hours of contractions that didn't even hurt all that bad and then she came out so fast I hardly had time to scream. So for me the second was way easier. Still very painful....but quicker...so it wasnt' as bad. Do I want a third? hmmm...nobody WANTS to go through that kind of pain...but somewhere in your head you decide that its worth it. I think after each child you get stronger....mentally and all. it's not as scary when you know what to expect. I think the first time is terrible because it's a pain you can't really even imagine. You have to feel it to understand it. And for a good few weeks afterwards you do feel like you were hit by a mack truck or train. your whole body just feels so weak and stuff.
well...hope that was helpful. drinker

Mandygrrl's photo
Sat 06/14/08 12:24 AM
Just because it is rare and hasn't happened in your neighborhood doesn't make it impossible to happen. Some women are big, mean, heartless and very strong. Alot of men live in abusive relationships. They get slapped around and verbally abused and possibly raped all the time. To stereotype men and women and place them in their 'traditonial' roles is idiotic. And it is true that just because a man gets erect does NOT mean he is consenting. Don't your nipples sometimes get hard for no reason? does it always mean you're ready and willing to go? you'd think that if a man wasn't enjoying it then he'd lose his erection but sometimes when you stimulate something that was made to engorge when stimulated....it does what it's supposed to do but that does not mean the man has any control over it. I'm only 24 and I know this. Sheesh people, grow up. Some men are in real need of our understanding and compasion but some women think it's real funny and say harsh things like, 'well it's about time they see what its like' the thing is, you can't punish an innocent man for what some other guilty man does. My cousin as a young boy was raped by my grandfather and he was taunted and told by my grandfather that 'he (my cousing)must be wanting it because his penis was hard when he was getting it'. That's bull. And he's grown up to be a very sensitive and cautious adult male and if he ever fell into the hands of an abusive woman I wouldn't be surprised if he got 'raped' because his body parts betray him and he's too insecure to tell her that, no, it doesn't mean you are turning me on. Rape isn't always being held down while you scream and struggle while someone has their way with you. Sometimes you can feel too much pressure to say no or you can be afraid of how the person will react if you were to say no and so you don't say anything and they aren't even aware that you are laying there completly frozen and in shock and unaware of what to do other than let them have their way and get the f*ck off of you.
Anyways, from what you are saying here in this topic though it does not sound like this man has been raped by you and I'm sorry you are being falsly accused I hope it all works out for you in the end but people its 2008 lets be a bit more open minded and lets not be quick to say something is impossible when in reality you don't have a f*cking clue!

Mandygrrl's photo
Fri 06/13/08 12:09 PM
oh come ON! someone has had to of heard of it and is equally intrigued. drinker
this sight is LAME. I've sent at least 20 people messages and haven't even been checked out. I am LONELY. taaaaaalk tooooo meeeeee

Mandygrrl's photo
Fri 06/13/08 10:55 AM

Hi, Mandy.

Denver/Aurora here! I've met some great Colorado folks on this site, and date a bit too. Prefer locals to LDR. Always fun....drinker





flowerforyou Hi keepingthefaith. So how long does it take to start meeting people on here? Maybe I'm not interesting enough....I keep getting couples and dirty old men messaging me but that's not what I'm looking for, lol. sad I'm just so not sure I should even be on here so the quicker I meet someone who captivates me the better off it will be before I change my mind and never come back here again....

Mandygrrl's photo
Fri 06/13/08 10:52 AM

I am in Nebraska Mandy, am I welcome?flowerforyou drinker

oh I guess so....bigsmile
I just want to start meeting some people I can actually meet in person but I just keep running into out-of-towners. Ohwell. Hi happy

Mandygrrl's photo
Thu 06/12/08 12:17 AM
awwww...that's too bad. So why'd you move away from CO? not good enough for you, huh? jk :tongue:
I'm actually torn between Arizona and Colorado. Lived in AZ til I was ten, lived here in CO since then (except for a year when I lived in TX when I ran away from home). So I'm not really sure which is my true home...I do miss AZ but I've been here for 13 years now. This is boring. Not you....the topics. So....I should go to bed. I have my mail set so that you hafta be female to write me. Sorry. But we can talk here, again, sometime. I need to take a shower. I don't know what's goin on lately but my armpits stink laugh even just an hour after showering AND using deoderant. Hmmmm....sick

Mandygrrl's photo
Thu 06/12/08 12:07 AM
lol you are DEFEATING my purpose here.
I love weiner dogs. Between the ages of four and eight my grandma (whom I lived with) bred dauchshunds. It broke my heart every time we sold the puppies. And Lady was my dog, she was so smart. She was hit by a car. Flattened like a pancake. I haven't been able to go near those kinds of dogs since then because it still hurts brokenheart

Mandygrrl's photo
Thu 06/12/08 12:03 AM
that's....funny. But are you from Colorado? huh

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:57 PM
So we can actually start chatting and meeting with people we can realistically meet someday if we wanted to? allright, if YOU live in northern Colorado.... lets start a nice lil coffee house chat here. Any topics...any at all. And I am here for women... just to put that out there. yes, men, you can come and join this Colorado forum too. They really should let you separate into different regions on here. I've seen many interesting people in the forums but none of them are anywhere nearby. Makes it more depressing to be lonely.
so, here we go.
I just need to wait for someone from COLORADO to start chatting with me and then more will come and before we know it we can have hundreds of us here, in our little internet coffee house. What shall we call this place?

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:42 PM
sometimes I fantasize about having a penis and it's the only thing I can get off to....imagining sex with a woman. Then I say 'the hell with that' and just think of wild lesbian sex. But then I can't stop my mind from wondering what it would feel like to be able to screw with a penis...what a blowjob feels like, etc. I don't want to be a man, but damn it I wish I could make love to a woman just once the way men get to.
and that is a true secret of mine I do not share with even my therapist. your welcome. embarassed

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:29 PM
I live in Evans. Any groups or get-togethers or whatever in the Evans/greeley area BESIDES UNC? I'm new to being bi. That sounds gay. lol. I'm not 'new' to it, I've always been this way....but I'm new to being okay with it (though I'm still closeted except with friends and some strangers such as yourselves). drinker Any gay bars or clubs that aren't just for cowboys n cowgirls? The only one I've heard of is western themed. And I'm still waiting for a woman to message me!!! I've never been to a strip club and wanna go, but I'd like to go with a new crowd of new friends (gay, bi, or curious gals). So far this place is boring and nobodys messaging me. I'm not gorgeous or anything but I'm not scary lookin either so I know it's not that....

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:15 PM
It's a show about lesbians and their love lives. You'd probably like it. IT has amazing sex scenes. Yummy devil

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:13 PM
oh poop. I can't pick just one in such a broad spectrum. can't we do different genres?

I'd have to say at the moment the only movie that comes to mind is Dirty Dancing. Then again, The Postman is pretty awesome and so is K-Pax. However, a recent movie I have fallen in LOVE with is....

Loving Annabelle.

I recommend it. bigsmile

Mandygrrl's photo
Wed 06/11/08 11:09 PM
It Has got to be the most errotic and tastey show yet! Who agrees? okay, okay, so I'm not even done with season 2 yet so maybe it isn't all that great, maybe it is, I don't know. So far though I'm obsessed with it. I guess I just wanted to get an L word topic started.....take it from here peeps