You only have one life to live some people say. (I believe in reincarnation but most people don't)

95% of all marriages are unhappy. (This means that at least one of the people in the marriage is unhappy.)

Marriage is a contract between a man, a woman and THE STATE.

I have nothing against relationships between men and women or anyone.

I do object to THE STATE being involved in my personal life.

I am against marriage.

So what am I doing on a dating site?

I am trying to save all you people from a fate worse than death.

That's my mission. Don't get married.

JB

PICTUE THIS(FOR ALL OF U WHO THINK LOVE CAN FIX ANYTHING) you come home from wrk walk to thr fridege grab a soda and as you are drinking it u hear a noise comming from the other end of the house.As you walk into the other room their is your wife
****ing the sht out of a guy.
i was so distraught i had to call the cops just to make sure i didnt do anything.first and only time in my life i wanted to kill someone.i still remember my wife beggingthe cops to lock me up so i couldnt kill her.the only reason why i didnt kill her was i didnt want to screw up my life becuase of her.
she started crying for me to forgive her, i told her i dont talk to dirty whores.
if i didnt care about the rest of my life i would of pulled that trigger.WHAT A DIRTY LITTLE WHORE

.....thankyou fellow voice of reason....when my marriage ended after only 10 months 20 years ago...I asked my best friend of 10 years soon to be Ex-husband,(he never consummated our marriage, I later discovered a drug problem he was hiding)

..."why did you marry me"..he answered "to take care of you"...I was a very well equipped to take care of myself independent woman, he knew this HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND !....I thought we were starting a partnership...I was not in the market for a babysitter to "take care of me".....
Even best friends of 10 years can get their wires crossed with something as simple as "why are we doing this again...?"


Now a days we dont have to bite our lip and stay in sham marriage's...if you begrudge us this simple piece of logical self-preservation...you belong in dark ages...say hey to the plague for me while your back their.....


~wicked~

well, it's nice to see you have gotten over it.

And with no hard feelings!

I too believe divorce is the easy way out... I waited for a year for mine to make up her mind and she has finally decided on divorce... I never cheated on her or abused her mentally or physically and I don't do drugs or even drink. I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left... I don't fault her for leaving but I do for not wanting to wotk on it... I asked her repeatedly to go to counseling and we finnaly went once to no avail.

I got married for life and apparently my wife just got married until she fealt like doing something else..... I just wish she would have tried a little more to work it out or at least talked to me before she decided to leave...

I guess the world has changed and people just can't devote to each other like they used to...

I guess I don't understand why anyone would want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with them. If leaving is her choice, she doesn't want to be with you. You can't change the way she feels. I want a partner, not a prisoner.

Women have a lot more independance these days. We dont have to tolerate physical or verbal abuse. Nor do we have to stand by and let a man cheat on us. (NO MEN! I DONT MEAN ALL OF YOU!)And we can go to college, educate ourselves and support our family. Back in the day, women didnt have these options. Thats the difference I would say.

I agree.

I don't want a prisoner either, what I do want is someone who means what they say and the maturety to realize that life is not a fairy tale. You know the world is not full of perfect people and even your closest loved one will eventually let you down.. When they do, is that time to run away and forget them???? I still love my wife and I guess that is my fault for not being able to turn those feelings off... It will take time and I will get past it, but it has made me see the world in a whole new light....

" For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part" I don't remember saying "until I want to leave" anywhere in my vows!!!!

By the way I don't want her back now, I have seen her true self and that is not who I married and too much damage has been done.

I understand what you mean, and I know you were hurt. But isnt' is possible to mean words when you say them, only to have the feelings behind them change later? What do you do then? Do you say, well, that's it, I am stuck for life with someone I do not love; or do you cut your losses? People make mistakes; perhaps she did. It doesn't mean she was lying or that she didn't mean it. Life changes people.

And it probably has nothing to do with you or anything you did wrong. She may have just realized that she was living the wrong life.

You may always love her and with that maybe you can reach some kind of peace with what she felt she had to do.

My husband left me for someone else when my daughter was 4. It caused me tremendous hardship just to survive. But I don't begrudge him because he found someone who made him much happier than I did. How can I deny him that?

I understand what you are saying, and I have to say that you are a better person than I... I just have a hard time believing that you are going to be happy all the time and I am sure your ex isn't either... I just beleive people give up too easily these days... I wasn't even given a chance to correct any of the problems that we were having. I also beleive that in our busy lives we don't have the time we need to comunicate like we should. The only time we had to comunicate was when we were driving somewhere and one of us was always on the phone when we could have been talking to each other instead.. I didn't realize that then but I do now. I also believe that if handled correctly a love that is dieing can be saved if people put forth the effort....

Cutting your losses is what you do at a poker table or a business venture... not your marriage... You would never cut your losses if you had a terminal illness would you??? I would make the best of it till my last breath!!!!!

I think you are being very hard on yourself. You may have been the best communicator in the world and it may not have helped. But I understand; you regret that you didn't try harder.

I like your analogy about having a terminal illness, but what if you were in a miserable marriage and had only six months to live. Would you slog through trying to make someone love you or go enjoy your last days on earth?

There are many ways of looking at every question, I think.

Well that is something else I have learned, you can't make someone love you.... If I had a terminal illness and she wanted to be with me I would do my best to use my last remaining days on earth making her happy and in turn would make me happy.... I also know that you can't depend on someone else to make you happy, I just enjoy it when I can brighten someones day.... That is what I always enjoyed doing.... I guess I am just simple that way...

Maybe one day I will be able to forgive her like you have your husband, but I am afraid it will be a while...


Here's to you though !!!!

"That's just milk by the way, I like it straight, not watered down" LOL!!!

"I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left.."

There is your problem right there. You can't expect to marry a woman and then forget about her .. take her for granted.. ignore her.. and expect her to stick around... all because it was work related... She has a right to a life too, or she should have.


What an empty life with a husband who pays no attention to her, works all the time... I been there. It says to me that I am no better than the house, the furniture, the dog, the wife... a thing... not all that important. And I did try to make it work. There was no communication.

Sad but true. If it lasts, then it is just a miserable rut.

I understand what you are saying and I also understand why she left and like I said before I wasn't aware of what I was doing and how I was making her feel. Comunication would have saved us and I truely believe that...

My wife was my friend, my companion, my life and I would have never in a million years done anything purposly to jeopardize that. I do realize that we both made mistakes it wasn't just me.. I was ignored too and was also put on the back burner for other people and other things. I however realize that this will happen from time to time... Where I made a mistake was believing that she would never just up and leave without warning and not look back...

I am glad you tried to make it work... If your husband still ignored you, then you made the right move... I was never given that chance, to correct things.. I wasn't given a manual when I got married and I should have realized it was happening but I didn't until she left... I know I made mistakes, I am not without blame, I am a man and am not perfect LOL!!!! I did however love my wife with all of my being and never thought she would not be there... I have learned alot since then, and alot of it has come from you guys.....Thank you!!! But that still doesn't change how I feel, I would have never just up and left her without giving her the chance to correct things, I would have fealt that I owed her that.... But things are the way that they are and there is nothing I can do to change that....

If I were to do it again though, I will never make the same mistakes and yes comunication is the key!!!!!!

We are currently living in the "me" generation whom, if they are not immediatley satisfied, and completely satisfied, they will quickly dispose of anything that is causing them dissatisfaction.

Some would say, womens lib is the complete cause of this. I think there might be some truth. Women initiate something like 70% of divorces. I think maybe making it so easy for a woman to pack up and leave, was maybe counter productive to the divorce rate.

Ironically, most women who cry about their husbands not spending time with them, would also cry if the cutback in work hours caused them to lose their Mercedes Soccer Mom mobile and 2500 sqft house in the 'burbs. Its really a no win situation there.

Women often leave because they are being physically abused. Would you advocate that they stay?

Excuse me?

Are you suggesting that the woman be held against her will? It should be easy to leave an abusive husband. It should be easy to walk away from a miserable life and miserable marriage.

The truth is, it is never easy. Why make it harder? You would make it harder?

People have a right to live happy, not trapped in a depressing oppressive, restrictive or abusive relationship.

I say make it hard to stay married. I say that a marriage should expire after five years and have to be renewed.

JB

Not even close to 70% of divorces are because of physical abuse, Im willing to wager not even 10% are because of that.

The overwhelming leading cause of divorce is of the "no fault" variety, which basically means the wife got bored, found something better, became disenchanted with married life, or became disenchanted with the husbands income level.


Of course I am not opposed to divorce in cases of physical abuse, I am not advocate of that at all. However, I am NOT an advocate of the "Oh Im bored" divorce. I think no fault divorce should be completely removed from the books. Bored housewife or woman married to total loser should have thought a little more before saying I do instead of using the "divorce eraser".