I think that divorce has become to convenient and individuals have become lazy about working at their relationships.
Increased use of the internet and sites like these also increase 'temptation' for those who are not completely satisfied in a current marriage.

We are living in a "disposible" society with so many conveniences and it is affecting our behavior as well.

Not everything can be fixed. People don't change just because you want them to. So what do you do? Spend the rest of your life in total misery in a loveless marriage? That's what people used to do. Why is that considered a better alternative? I think it is wonderful that we have more freedom now and we don't have to stay locked in hell until we die.

PICTUE THIS(FOR ALL OF U WHO THINK LOVE CAN FIX ANYTHING) you come home from wrk walk to thr fridege grab a soda and as you are drinking it u hear a noise comming from the other end of the house.As you walk into the other room their is your wife
****ing the sht out of a guy.
i was so distraught i had to call the cops just to make sure i didnt do anything.first and only time in my life i wanted to kill someone.i still remember my wife beggingthe cops to lock me up so i couldnt kill her.the only reason why i didnt kill her was i didnt want to screw up my life becuase of her.
she started crying for me to forgive her, i told her i dont talk to dirty whores.
if i didnt care about the rest of my life i would of pulled that trigger.WHAT A DIRTY LITTLE WHORE

well, it's nice to see you have gotten over it.

I too believe divorce is the easy way out... I waited for a year for mine to make up her mind and she has finally decided on divorce... I never cheated on her or abused her mentally or physically and I don't do drugs or even drink. I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left... I don't fault her for leaving but I do for not wanting to wotk on it... I asked her repeatedly to go to counseling and we finnaly went once to no avail.

I got married for life and apparently my wife just got married until she fealt like doing something else..... I just wish she would have tried a little more to work it out or at least talked to me before she decided to leave...

I guess the world has changed and people just can't devote to each other like they used to...

[I guess I don't understand why anyone would want to stay with someone who doesn't want to be with them. If leaving is her choice, she doesn't want to be with you. You can't change the way she feels. I want a partner, not a prisoner.

I don't want a prisoner either, what I do want is someone who means what they say and the maturety to realize that life is not a fairy tale. You know the world is not full of perfect people and even your closest loved one will eventually let you down.. When they do, is that time to run away and forget them???? I still love my wife and I guess that is my fault for not being able to turn those feelings off... It will take time and I will get past it, but it has made me see the world in a whole new light....

" For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part" I don't remember saying "until I want to leave" anywhere in my vows!!!!

By the way I don't want her back now, I have seen her true self and that is not who I married and too much damage has been done.

I understand what you mean, and I know you were hurt. But isnt' is possible to mean words when you say them, only to have the feelings behind them change later? What do you do then? Do you say, well, that's it, I am stuck for life with someone I do not love; or do you cut your losses? People make mistakes; perhaps she did. It doesn't mean she was lying or that she didn't mean it. Life changes people.

And it probably has nothing to do with you or anything you did wrong. She may have just realized that she was living the wrong life.

You may always love her and with that maybe you can reach some kind of peace with what she felt she had to do.

My husband left me for someone else when my daughter was 4. It caused me tremendous hardship just to survive. But I don't begrudge him because he found someone who made him much happier than I did. How can I deny him that?

I understand what you are saying, and I have to say that you are a better person than I... I just have a hard time believing that you are going to be happy all the time and I am sure your ex isn't either... I just beleive people give up too easily these days... I wasn't even given a chance to correct any of the problems that we were having. I also beleive that in our busy lives we don't have the time we need to comunicate like we should. The only time we had to comunicate was when we were driving somewhere and one of us was always on the phone when we could have been talking to each other instead.. I didn't realize that then but I do now. I also believe that if handled correctly a love that is dieing can be saved if people put forth the effort....

Cutting your losses is what you do at a poker table or a business venture... not your marriage... You would never cut your losses if you had a terminal illness would you??? I would make the best of it till my last breath!!!!!

I like your analogy about having a terminal illness, but what if you were in a miserable marriage and had only six months to live. Would you slog through trying to make someone love you or go enjoy your last days on earth?

There are many ways of looking at every question, I think.

I too believe divorce is the easy way out... I waited for a year for mine to make up her mind and she has finally decided on divorce... I never cheated on her or abused her mentally or physically and I don't do drugs or even drink. I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left... I don't fault her for leaving but I do for not wanting to wotk on it... I asked her repeatedly to go to counseling and we finnaly went once to no avail.

I got married for life and apparently my wife just got married until she fealt like doing something else..... I just wish she would have tried a little more to work it out or at least talked to me before she decided to leave...

I guess the world has changed and people just can't devote to each other like they used to...

"I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left.."

There is your problem right there. You can't expect to marry a woman and then forget about her .. take her for granted.. ignore her.. and expect her to stick around... all because it was work related... She has a right to a life too, or she should have.


What an empty life with a husband who pays no attention to her, works all the time... I been there. It says to me that I am no better than the house, the furniture, the dog, the wife... a thing... not all that important. And I did try to make it work. There was no communication.

Sad but true. If it lasts, then it is just a miserable rut.

I understand what you are saying and I also understand why she left and like I said before I wasn't aware of what I was doing and how I was making her feel. Comunication would have saved us and I truely believe that...

My wife was my friend, my companion, my life and I would have never in a million years done anything purposly to jeopardize that. I do realize that we both made mistakes it wasn't just me.. I was ignored too and was also put on the back burner for other people and other things. I however realize that this will happen from time to time... Where I made a mistake was believing that she would never just up and leave without warning and not look back...

I am glad you tried to make it work... If your husband still ignored you, then you made the right move... I was never given that chance, to correct things.. I wasn't given a manual when I got married and I should have realized it was happening but I didn't until she left... I know I made mistakes, I am not without blame, I am a man and am not perfect LOL!!!! I did however love my wife with all of my being and never thought she would not be there... I have learned alot since then, and alot of it has come from you guys.....Thank you!!! But that still doesn't change how I feel, I would have never just up and left her without giving her the chance to correct things, I would have fealt that I owed her that.... But things are the way that they are and there is nothing I can do to change that....

If I were to do it again though, I will never make the same mistakes and yes comunication is the key!!!!!!

We are currently living in the "me" generation whom, if they are not immediatley satisfied, and completely satisfied, they will quickly dispose of anything that is causing them dissatisfaction.

Some would say, womens lib is the complete cause of this. I think there might be some truth. Women initiate something like 70% of divorces. I think maybe making it so easy for a woman to pack up and leave, was maybe counter productive to the divorce rate.

We are currently living in the "me" generation whom, if they are not immediatley satisfied, and completely satisfied, they will quickly dispose of anything that is causing them dissatisfaction.

Some would say, womens lib is the complete cause of this. I think there might be some truth. Women initiate something like 70% of divorces. I think maybe making it so easy for a woman to pack up and leave, was maybe counter productive to the divorce rate.

Women often leave because they are being physically abused. Would you advocate that they stay?