I agree with what the others said... I am going through this right now... It took me a while to understand what had happened but like everyone said, if a man can't provide, most will feel like less of a man... I too was distant and depressed...
If you really care for him, stand by him and let him know that you understand how he feels... I was criticized and blamed for my misfortunes and that just pushed me farther away so be careful... He will come around when he gets back on his feet and will admire you and cherish you for being there for him...
Good luck to you

People like that shouldn't marry - people like what? People who make mistakes? Let me know when you find one that doesn't.

My ex has been with the woman he left me for for about 14 years now. I think he wanted the long haul; but after marrying me he realized that it wouldn't be with me. I am fine with that; I am able to see another person's point of view and wish them a happy life, even if it does not include me.

So sorry for you that you can't do that. Let go and get on with your life and stop worrying about things you can't change.


My point is, marriage is supposed to be for life, If you can't see yourself with that person when you grow old and feeble, broke, rich, working through arguments, when they are depressed, happy and all the other unforseeable things, then you shouldn't make that comitment!!!!! People make mistakes,,, I made mistakes and guess what, I am paying for it!!!! As I said before I don't want my wife back and wouldn't if she were the last woman on earth... I am going forward with my life... I pick myself up daily and go forward and in time, I won't think about her anymore....I want her to be happy and I know that it won't be with me, I don't care about that anymore.... She manipulated me after she left so I would do things for her and I was dumb enough not to see it then... She used me for what she could get and that is what she did when she married me.. I had a good job and was making decent money and then I started my own business and she was all for it until the economy turned and the money quit coming in, That is when she decided to leave.. Coincedence???? I don't think so... These are the kind of people that shouldn't marry..... If you are out for yourself and only yourself, you need to be alone!!!!

Good for you Wicked!!!! And cudos for raising a child by yourself, I don't see how you guys do it!!!! I am glad to see that there are some people who can realize what they want at such a young age.... Just find someone who is honest about what they want and willing to work for your marriage and you will realize what most of us only dream of!!!!!

Yeah, I have heard this before!!!! LOL


As far as marriage goes, If you make that comitment you should keep it or at least try to fix the problems.... If you are not willing to do this then you should have never married in the first place... As far as abuse or substance abuse or infedelity you have every right to leave, but because you are bored or aren't getting the attention you would like, these are problems that should be discussed and can be easily fixed...

Hiker... as far as your ex, you said he was happier with someone else, what happens when he finds someone who makes him happier than his current wife???? Should he be able to just leave and go with them???? When will this viscious cycle end??? People like that shouldn't marry....

Everyone has a right to be happy, but how many people should you be allowed to trample on in order to get there??? I had my share of disappointments in my marriage too, Example, I always wanted kids and my wife said she probably wasn't going to be able to have kids because of a medical condition, my response was that we would adopt one from China and have made in China tatooed on his butt LOL!!! I didn't care that one of my dreams had died and I would never be able to watch my child grow... I was with my wife, my partner, my friend, and that is all that mattered!!!!! Bottom line, if you are not in it for the long hall, don't do it!!!!

I understand what you are saying and I also understand why she left and like I said before I wasn't aware of what I was doing and how I was making her feel. Comunication would have saved us and I truely believe that...

My wife was my friend, my companion, my life and I would have never in a million years done anything purposly to jeopardize that. I do realize that we both made mistakes it wasn't just me.. I was ignored too and was also put on the back burner for other people and other things. I however realize that this will happen from time to time... Where I made a mistake was believing that she would never just up and leave without warning and not look back...

I am glad you tried to make it work... If your husband still ignored you, then you made the right move... I was never given that chance, to correct things.. I wasn't given a manual when I got married and I should have realized it was happening but I didn't until she left... I know I made mistakes, I am not without blame, I am a man and am not perfect LOL!!!! I did however love my wife with all of my being and never thought she would not be there... I have learned alot since then, and alot of it has come from you guys.....Thank you!!! But that still doesn't change how I feel, I would have never just up and left her without giving her the chance to correct things, I would have fealt that I owed her that.... But things are the way that they are and there is nothing I can do to change that....

If I were to do it again though, I will never make the same mistakes and yes comunication is the key!!!!!!

Well that is something else I have learned, you can't make someone love you.... If I had a terminal illness and she wanted to be with me I would do my best to use my last remaining days on earth making her happy and in turn would make me happy.... I also know that you can't depend on someone else to make you happy, I just enjoy it when I can brighten someones day.... That is what I always enjoyed doing.... I guess I am just simple that way...

Maybe one day I will be able to forgive her like you have your husband, but I am afraid it will be a while...


Here's to you though !!!!

"That's just milk by the way, I like it straight, not watered down" LOL!!!

I understand what you are saying, and I have to say that you are a better person than I... I just have a hard time believing that you are going to be happy all the time and I am sure your ex isn't either... I just beleive people give up too easily these days... I wasn't even given a chance to correct any of the problems that we were having. I also beleive that in our busy lives we don't have the time we need to comunicate like we should. The only time we had to comunicate was when we were driving somewhere and one of us was always on the phone when we could have been talking to each other instead.. I didn't realize that then but I do now. I also believe that if handled correctly a love that is dieing can be saved if people put forth the effort....

Cutting your losses is what you do at a poker table or a business venture... not your marriage... You would never cut your losses if you had a terminal illness would you??? I would make the best of it till my last breath!!!!!

I don't want a prisoner either, what I do want is someone who means what they say and the maturety to realize that life is not a fairy tale. You know the world is not full of perfect people and even your closest loved one will eventually let you down.. When they do, is that time to run away and forget them???? I still love my wife and I guess that is my fault for not being able to turn those feelings off... It will take time and I will get past it, but it has made me see the world in a whole new light....

" For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part" I don't remember saying "until I want to leave" anywhere in my vows!!!!

By the way I don't want her back now, I have seen her true self and that is not who I married and too much damage has been done.

I too believe divorce is the easy way out... I waited for a year for mine to make up her mind and she has finally decided on divorce... I never cheated on her or abused her mentally or physically and I don't do drugs or even drink. I did distance myself from her and didn't pay attention to her like I should have but it was all work related and I didn't realize what i was doing until she left... I don't fault her for leaving but I do for not wanting to wotk on it... I asked her repeatedly to go to counseling and we finnaly went once to no avail.

I got married for life and apparently my wife just got married until she fealt like doing something else..... I just wish she would have tried a little more to work it out or at least talked to me before she decided to leave...

I guess the world has changed and people just can't devote to each other like they used to...

Yeah gotta get that divorce thing done!!!!
It's Time!!!! LOL

SILNT I will help you hun!!!!

Separated and working on single!!!!!

I don't know any man looking for it either!!!!!!
Wouldn't be a quality I would look for......

hey leave my humperdink alone..goner get that nasty turtle lol

LMAO!!!!

Sorry adorable, anxiety sucks but they do make medication for that....The only person that can help you with that is yourself.....and a doctor of course, until then humor always helps!!!!!

Now where did my Humperdink go??? Maybe the turtle ate it....
LOL!!!!

You might find one at a zoo??????

Where did DUDE get to???????
I hope a Humperdink didn't get him!!!!!!!

I may like humperdinks if I knew what that was!!!!
Willy's just give me the creeps though !!!!! LOL

I like puppies!!!!!lol

I am so confused I fell out of my chair LOL!!!!!