Topic: Aging parents/ lying husband
Mystique42's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:21 AM
My mom is going for a stress test on her heart today and it's long overdue. She needs gallbladder surgery but has been so afraid of the stress test killing her that she has postponed this going from 200 lbs to 125. My stepdad needs to have his herniated disc in his back operated on.

I've offered for my parents to come and live with me but it's obvious they don't want to be a burden on me. I do have my hands full at times taking care of my little guy with Down syndrome, and my marriage is on the rocks. I found out recently my husband has been getting credit cards and basically hiding the truth. I asked him straight out if there were any other surprises and then I said Okay let's get a free credit report online which he tried to run through, but I saw one more credit card on there. He denied it was his. A few years back a counselor told me to watch the movie AS GOOD AS IT GETS so I figure it's not going to get any better.

Anyway, I'm venting here. I don't know what to do for my parents other than to keep offering my help. My mom has COPD so if my stepdad goes for an operation I don't like the idea of her being alone. Today I'm just praying she makes it through her stress test.

I guess this is all stressing me out right now. I've been trying to work from home, but even that isn't going well. Good news is I KNOW better days are coming.

rebkel's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:23 AM
flowerforyou flowerforyou You and your family will be in my prayers! flowerforyou flowerforyou

wildsideof35's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:24 AM
Praying that things will get better and you will see a light at the end of the tunnel.....flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:24 AM
you are trying too hard..

rozey2680's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:25 AM
(((((((((((((((((MYST))))))))))))))))flowerforyou :heart: smooched

I'm so sorry honey!!! I will keep you and you're family in my prayers! I love you girl!flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou

franshade's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:26 AM
Praying for you and your family. flowerforyou

P.S. you can pull credit reports on your own, may cost you a few bucks, but always remain in the loop :wink:

Bornnaked's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:27 AM
I tried to get my Mother to stay with me before she passed away.She told me that she has lived in this house for 49 years and that was where all the fond memories were at so why should I move she said.There are no easy answers.But my prayers go out to you and your family.

southern_bee's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:30 AM
oh wow thats crazy,just tell your mom you can stay and "visit" that way she wont be alone..ill pray for youflowerforyou

no photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:32 AM
My prayers for u and your family!!!flowerforyou

Mystique42's photo
Wed 04/09/08 09:35 AM
Thank you Rozey!

Fran... I didn't want to go behind his back. I wanted to do things the right way, and I wanted him to know I was going to be strong about it by facing the credit report. I also was HOPING he'd be honest for once. I needed to give him the chance to be honest.

As for trying too hard... it's better to try than to wish you had or just give up altogether.

Over a year ago I was told by a doctor that my mom may only live 6 months to a year... she has certainly out lived the expectations. Yet today as I sit here I know losing my mom could set me over the edge if I don't reach out here like I'm doing now. I know when it's time to get in touch with friends again and DO something to help myself during this time. JSH has some of the best friends I know! Thanks for all of your support.

franshade's photo
Wed 04/09/08 10:29 AM

Thank you Rozey!

Fran... I didn't want to go behind his back. I wanted to do things the right way, and I wanted him to know I was going to be strong about it by facing the credit report. I also was HOPING he'd be honest for once. I needed to give him the chance to be honest.

As for trying too hard... it's better to try than to wish you
had or just give up altogether.

Over a year ago I was told by a doctor that my mom may only live 6 months to a year... she has certainly out lived the expectations. Yet today as I sit here I know losing my mom could set me over the edge if I don't reach out here like I'm doing now. I know when it's time to get in touch with friends again and DO something to help myself during this time. JSH has some of the best friends I know! Thanks for all of your support.


I feel your pain Mystique feel free to email me whenever you need to vent out or just express your current frustrations. Just releasing the pressure a bit helps.

You're an amazing woman, not wanting to do thing behind his back, would never suggest it be done, I meant you do not have to wait for his ok/approval, meant you are entitled, but I see your point.
flowerforyou

LAMom's photo
Wed 04/09/08 11:03 AM
(((( Mystique ))))

Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've missed ya,, Big ole Hugs sweetie

:heart: flowerforyou flowerforyou

Mystique42's photo
Wed 04/09/08 11:03 AM
Fran, THANK YOU... my point of view has been to treat others as you would want to be treated. His lies are HIS problem, but how I handle the situation is certainly something I have to live with. I've always wanted to say I did my part and did my best regardless of others or what they have chosen.

pkh's photo
Wed 04/09/08 11:07 AM
Oh sweetie my prayers are with you.You are a strong woman..God Blessflowerforyou

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 04/09/08 11:13 AM

(((( Mystique ))))

Goshhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've missed ya,, Big ole Hugs sweetie

:heart: flowerforyou flowerforyou


Ditto Prayers are being sent your way. Give my little sweetie a hug.

All you can do is offer if they refuse it then just let them know your there.

As far as hubby well he needs to learn to be honest. Lying will lead to only more lies. Good luck girlfriendflowerforyou

Mystique42's photo
Wed 04/09/08 11:32 AM
Thanks so much Txs! Great big ol bear hugs to ya!

Mystique42's photo
Thu 04/10/08 05:23 AM
My mom made it through the worst part of the stress test yesterday. She has to go back to get more pictures of her heart today without the stress. My stepdad will be going to pain therapy for his back. He said he thinks they are afraid to operate since he has spurs and a herniated disc. Then he mentioned arthritis.

I'm just thrilled my mom made it through her test since I know how scared she was.

MsTeddyBear2u's photo
Thu 04/10/08 11:22 AM
(((Mystique)))
:heart: :heart: :heart:
Your in my prayers my friend!
I'm here for you...
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou