i have a 2 1\2 year old that has never known is father but he is
starting to ask questions about why other kids have daddys and he doesnt
and who is his daddy. what do I tell him. all i have been doing is
changing the subject but that will only work for so long. any single
moms out there that can help.

Does his father not want to be a part of his life?

hi tex,
just to start out let me tell you that i have 4 kids, so i am a real mom
not just someone with an opinion.

having been divorced i have dealt with my share of tough questions from
my kids although its not the same as the father being completely absent.

first of all i hope u feel so blessed to have a 2 1/2 yr old so smart
and mature that he is capable of being able to start to make
observations like that in the world around him.

In your position i might try to as simply on his level as possible
explain to him that families come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and
find examples to show him. show him that there are families that
consist of mommies only and families that consist of daddies only and
even families that only consist of grandparents or aunt and uncle, by
giving this to him little bits at a time starting now, as he grows this
concept will become more and more normal to him.

there are also many childrens books out there that show explain
different kinds of families in language that very little ones can
understand.

i hope this gives u a little encouragement.

In my case, my father passed away when i was only a baby. I never knew
him.

his father left me when i was pregnaunt and has not been heard from
sence. thanks for the advice heatherrae

I have 2 children and recently went thru a divorce. You can explain to
your son that what makes a family is different for everyone. Ensure him
of the love that you have for him, and that many families have just a
mommy or just a daddy.

tex,
this is a hard topic for a lot of us as single moms. my oldest son
knows who his father is, but he also knows that i rarely know where the
man is. I try to counteract the understandable sad feelings by
surrounding him with males in my family that love him unconditionally.
i have also made it a point to have discussions with him, as heatherrae
suggested, about different family types and makeups. The most we can do
is tell the truth - hopefully in a way that won't hurt their little
feelings, and then keep telling them the truth of OUR love for them.

your son will find out the truth some day...
it would be better hearing it from you,his mother...

find a way to tell him...but not all the bitter truth...
I understand he is young,but if he knows,he will quit asking...

but reasure him that his daddy does love him,
even if he is not here to show it...

some day he will thank you for it...

thanks for all the advice. micheal it was good to hear a mans point of
veiw. I will use all i have been given

Let's just say that I know what th lil guy is going through...

yes that's a hard topic, try telling him the truth like michael said,
he's going to hear about it eventually but leave all the bitterness out
so it will be easier for him to swallow. Tell him something like,
sometimes parents get confused, they love their children but life has a
way of confusing them and they leave on a quest to try to find
themselves.

First of all not knowing the whole situation it is a hard one to answer.
One does the father even know he has a son if so and it is his choice
not to see him first don't tell him that right now he will find that out
as he gets older. Don't ever down the other parent for not being there
kids go though enough of the trama of not having the other parent around
don't need things added to that. Just explain to him that he does not
have anything to do with his father not being around if that is your
choice that the father is not around then you need to deal with those
issues for all kids should have the rights to know there parents one
parent should never keep the other away unless there is abuse on the
childs part. But if the father or mother makes the choice to not be in
the child life that can be explained later in life not while they are
that young, In time they will know the truth don't lie to them but don't
ever put the other down no matter what your thoughts of them are for
that will come back against you later in years as the child grows up and
rebels against you . Main thing is just be there and love them with all
your heart. Let them know that they are special. Just be there for them
and show them how much you love them and in time it will all work out.

well it was his decision to leave when i was 5 months pregnaunt. He
knew it was to be a boy because he was at the ultrasound. about a week
after the ulrtasound he told me he was not ready to be a dad and packed
his stuff. I wrote him a letter and sent him a pic of my son when he
was three days old and mailed it to his parents address with all my new
contact info and told him if he wanted to see his son that he needed to
contact me. I called his parents house and he refused to talk to me.
about a month after that I got a letter from him asking me to leave him
alone and not to contact his family any more. So I have given him many
oppertunities to contact me and it is up to him. if he ever did contact
me than I would let him see or talk to his son. I am not a cold hearted
*****. I love my son to much to do that.

well i have two children a daughter 13 and a son 12 and there father
walked out on me when i was pregnant with our son and he lives 3 miles
from us and hardly sees our children at all my children say it is their
fault and i try to reassure them that it isnt i tell them that he is
just busy because i dont want them to think the worst of their father

well i have two children a daughter 13 and a son 12 and there father
walked out on me when i was pregnant with our son and he lives 3 miles
from us and hardly sees our children at all my children say it is their
fault and i try to reassure them that it isnt i tell them that he is
just busy because i dont want them to think the worst of their father

I feel for your son, I am very glad that my boys dad and I get along so
well! I think what I would do, if you had pictures of his father is
leave them sitting out, just so he would have pictures of his father
around. If he asks you questions, never try to put him off or ignore
him, just tell him that each family is unique, and your family is very
unique--you have so much love for him and then show him the picture of
his father. Never put him down because in the end, you will be the bad
person!
I will say this, I would press child support because your son should not
have to suffer in any way, he is suffering enough by not seeing his dad!
His dad might not want to see him...but by all means you should make him
pay for his son! You didn't get pregnaunt by yourself, if he doesn't
want to be a dad, atleast make him be a father! ANY MAN CAN BE A FATHER
BUT IT TAKES A SPECIAL MAN TO BE A DAD :) Good luck

Tex, you did what you could now you just have to raise your son and love
him. Myself no I would not tell him his dad don't want to be there he
will figure that out later in life on his own. For now guess I would be
prone to tell him that his daddy lives away and sure if he could he
would come see you. I know some will dissagree with that but no sence in
telling a baby that there dad don't want to have anything to do with
them . But sure you will tell him the right thing when the time comes.
Other than that just be there for him and love him no matter what he
does that love will never die. Best wishes.

i happen to agree with all who gave support.i myselfWISH that i could
see my 3 boys grow up. my real dad was never there for me. my step dad
came into my life when i was 11 years old. i thank god every day for him
being there for me.i am as you all know 33 years of age.ray my step dad
has been there for me. even after my mom passed on in 1992.ray has been
more of a dad to me than my real dad.i know my real dad. lewis and i
have had our father son arguements. but we are friends none the less.

blood is not always thicker than water that is for sure

i never knew my dad and my baby sis never met her dad. for me i had my
grandfather and my uncles that was enough for me and it pains me to say
that when i learned my dad had died of a stroke i did not really feel
anything. but it was hard for my sis to not have a dad and now she is
unhappy with her husband. but does not want her kids to feel as bad as
she did not having a daddy. i think we both turned out ok. but it is
harder for some than others. but knowing the truth about why my father
wasnt there was a help to me. and after learning what the sob was like i
did not miss out on anything anyway.