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| Topic: Why is it so ****ing hard | |
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Wow ... looks like the OP is too busy either sending or answering mail to return to his thread
 Alrighty then ....... there you have it ladies & gents. Threads on JSH WORK    
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to find someone on here that will email you back and isnt just looking for friendship  Eh...don't sweat it. Everytime that happens, you should be happy. You've just eliminated another flake or incompatible person from your list. To quote a man far wiser than I, a Stoic (as in the discipline) philosopher: "Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one's desires, but by the removal of desire." -Epictetus In short, by putting less importance on your expectations (Hey, if I email this chick, she'll email me, then I'll email her, then we'll be happy ever after) that is unfortunately common in situations like this, you free yourself up from the disappointment. If you approach each new attempt at contact as just that, and not inject your wishes and expectations, you won't find yourself as disappointed as often. When you send off an email, forget the person you just sent it to unless you get a reply back. If the two of you are incompatible (or emotionally unavailable), thank them, say good-bye and move on. Asking why this, or howcome that really doesn't accomplish anything but further frustration. Wondering why someone isn't interested enough in you to respond is rather pointless. Knowing why won't make a whit of difference. Just be glad you eliminated a rude and/or flakey person from your list of possibilities and move on. |
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Just be glad you eliminated a rude and/or flakey person from your list of possibilities and move on. I concur. This man knows what he's talking about, folks. |
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to find someone on here that will email you back and isnt just looking for friendship Eh...don't sweat it. Everytime that happens, you should be happy. You've just eliminated another flake or incompatible person from your list. To quote a man far wiser than I, a Stoic (as in the discipline) philosopher: "Freedom is secured not by the fulfilling of one's desires, but by the removal of desire." -Epictetus In short, by putting less importance on your expectations (Hey, if I email this chick, she'll email me, then I'll email her, then we'll be happy ever after) that is unfortunately common in situations like this, you free yourself up from the disappointment. If you approach each new attempt at contact as just that, and not inject your wishes and expectations, you won't find yourself as disappointed as often. When you send off an email, forget the person you just sent it to unless you get a reply back. If the two of you are incompatible (or emotionally unavailable), thank them, say good-bye and move on. Asking why this, or howcome that really doesn't accomplish anything but further frustration. Wondering why someone isn't interested enough in you to respond is rather pointless. Knowing why won't make a whit of difference. Just be glad you eliminated a rude and/or flakey person from your list of possibilities and move on. Just because some one isnt compatiable, or whatever right off the bat doesnt mean anything. maybe they just want to spend some time and get to know eachother. I mean u cant know if ur comptaiable from 1 or 2 e-mails |
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Just because some one isnt compatiable, or whatever right off the bat doesnt mean anything. maybe they just want to spend some time and get to know eachother. I mean u cant know if ur comptaiable from 1 or 2 e-mails That's true. But you certainly can't know if they're compatible or not with zero emails, which is a common complaint and a large part of what this thread is about. And one bit on this, the OP stated that he was looking for someone, but "everyone" is looking for friendship. If they are looking for friendship only and he is not, that tells me their goals are incompatible. If both people want to be friends, great. If both want to have a relationship, great. However, if both people want different things, that's usually not so great. |
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but what people dont understand is that something more could come from that friendship...why limit ur self?
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You're right. It might. I think it's silly to devote a lot of time and energy to a friendship if you're expecting it to turn into something more.
If you're fine just having the relationship be a friendship, cool. Do your thing, but keep actively looking. Sitting around, pining away for a friend, when it very well may never turn into anything is really limiting yourself. |
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Friendship sucks. I can make friends in real life that I can see all the time
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Friendship sucks. I can make friends in real life that I can see all the time Quoted for truth~ And while it's certainly not a "given", usually a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting you whether she'll ever be interested in anything more than friendship. |
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Friendship sucks. I can make friends in real life that I can see all the time Quoted for truth~ And while it's certainly not a "given", usually a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting you whether she'll ever be interested in anything more than friendship. I hear ya. Girls seem to tease more than they're serious. |
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I hear ya. Girls seem to tease more than they're serious. "Tease" is the new "ignore." |
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oh to be 27 again!
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Edited by
DebbieJT
on
Thu 04/03/08 04:23 AM
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well its the internet..i always reply even if its just thanks...but the only time i dont is if i think there a bit creepy or perverted..but just go with the flow and dont take it seriously
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u got pics with women maybe some just alone Pictures with women doesn't mean they are together. Could be they are just friends. |
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u got pics with women maybe some just alone Pictures with women doesn't mean they are together. Could be they are just friends. Why take chances? |
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yeah, goodlooking, yes, player? you have to get rid of the pics with the girls hanging on you. A women wants to feel like top dog.
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Mark you are a great looking guy I don't know why you are having a problem.
I answer all my e-mails I think it's rude not to. Some guys I am friends with only because of distance but then again, you never know what can develop from those friendships either. Stranger things have happened. Don't give up. 
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to find someone on here that will email you back and isnt just looking for friendship I dunno dude. I approached this site as "looking for friends". While I am a guy and both of us are looking for women, I did the online dating thing before and got disappointed. Most complaints women make is that every guy is trying to get something happening as fast as possible. Hence why more women are standoffish and wanting to just build friendships to start. After a few psychos, I kind of feel the same way. Just meet people, chat, get to know them...most of the time people will grow to become attracted after getting to know your personality. Sometimes you just gotta take it slow, and show the women you really want to get to know them, as opposed to being another guy looking for a warm body. |
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Friendship sucks. I can make friends in real life that I can see all the time Quoted for truth~ And while it's certainly not a "given", usually a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting you whether she'll ever be interested in anything more than friendship. I hear ya. Girls seem to tease more than they're serious. yeah i generally know with in a few minutes if a guy can be more than just a friend, but unlike most girls, I'll tell him straight out, I'll be like, ok, ur cool and all but i dont see us going anywhere, is it cool to just be friends??? Theres no point in teasing and leading some one on, it only leads to problems and hurt down the road. |
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Friendship sucks. I can make friends in real life that I can see all the time Quoted for truth~ And while it's certainly not a "given", usually a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting you whether she'll ever be interested in anything more than friendship. I hear ya. Girls seem to tease more than they're serious. yeah i generally know with in a few minutes if a guy can be more than just a friend, but unlike most girls, I'll tell him straight out, I'll be like, ok, ur cool and all but i dont see us going anywhere, is it cool to just be friends??? Theres no point in teasing and leading some one on, it only leads to problems and hurt down the road. That's awesome. That's how it should be, IMO. |
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