very well put. that's how it feels.
now the question is it worth the effort to try to continue?

i recently met someone and we had some great conversations. one night things went too far (sex) and i did the typical girl freak out. when i confronted him and wanted to chat about where we were headed. . . . i got the response of "do we really need to talk about it?" i said yes and that i felt things started to fast and i wanted to build a friendship. the response i got to that was " yes, i want friendship too. i don't want to lose you. . . we can build from here"

after that. no real communication. the occasional text messages and "hi how are you today emails". how can someone say they don't want to lose you and then not stay in contact? how can they not want to lose something that never really started? how do you start after taking 10 steps forward and go back?

i guess i am looking for clarification of what that phrase really means.

What are you considering a lie?

if a girl dies their hair does that mean its a lie?

fake nails, eyelashes, push up bra?

i could go on. . . what are you seeking physical?

Now psychologically or historically i think we don't divulge everything when we first are with people or even longer. does that mean we lie?

well we are from dirt. :)


oops that was written poorly. i meant we shouldn't try to find people to change but find a person who meets our ideals or at least does not have flaws we can't live with.

i guess we are all just looking for balance. no one can control another. dumb or smart. it is trying to find someone to mold to your liking that is the problem in the first place.

make that "and" instead of "an" i rushed. i can self critique.

"nope, people like me for my brain, not my body. once they get their intellectual stimulation they toss me aside and look for someone to provide their physical stimulation."


Hey drew,

maybe you should dumb it down and instead of lifting a book you can lift a weight.

sorry i am being bitter, but you get the idea.

thanks to everyone for their input. it puts my mind at ease knowing i am not alone in these thoughts.

And i agree with Drew. i am not trying to look down on people for their spelling abilities just the way they project themselves. society as a whole in this day an age. . . we have become lazy. We need to work towards are goal.

If you say you want certain qualities hopefully you can project them yourselves.

And i am enjoying the forums. i just don't post as much as i read.

In all honesty, in the 24 hrs since i had re-opened my account i had been bombed with too many characters who think every woman is to be their next hole to be plugged. since there is more than one orifice i will spare you all the details of the comments i received.

i would assume that when you join a dating site you would want to put your best self out there to be seen. Not meaning to be a snot but i am not finding what i am looking for and i feel that some things should just be basic.


i am trying to be the positive on this but finding a few things that need to be made clear.

1 if you can't spell or put a complete sentence together please don't contact me. i may not use capitals all the time and tend to have a run on sentence, those items i can understand. (ie sentence above) its the incapability to spell camping correctly for example. if it is a passion of yours give it some some respect and spell it correctly!

2 i understand the need to feel wanted and intimate on the computer and all the reasons that people feel freer to ask "adult" questions but if i was looking to hook up i would just put it on my profile. goodness i don't need to be asked if i want to have phone or email intimacy with you before i know your name! if i wanted to be treated like a blow up doll or the bar slut at the bar, i would have my profile say that.

well put

i also seem to be able to tell. unfortunately while trying to convey sarcasm in a group email meant to be innocent i received some backlash and was hoping to find others who have had a similar problem and maybe some clues on how to prevent future miss-communications.

Can you truly detect emotion and intent (sarcasm for example) over email and/or text messages?

your thoughts . . . .(please)

the name Peanuts, after the peanut gallery featured in the Howdy Doody TV show.
According to Wikipedia

don't get on us for wanting the total package too? what first attracts you about a girl? lets be honest with ourselves. you can't be one way about a subject and then change to fit your ideas when its the other side.

so the nice guys have been with some not so nice women?

wow, have people really been this miss-treated? obviously the world is not what it used to be. have values changed? is being "moral" a sign of a "nice guy"? i disagree. i have found in my life some of the biggest a-holes are the ones that have opened doors for me and other such chivalry. i say not just how the boy treats you but treats others. if it is the same, then you know his actions are genuine. oh, and too the "good guys" that have been Passed over for jerks. that i have been wronged attitude will only set you back. so what if sometimes we realize late in life what we want from a man. obviously it took you all just as long to build your confidence enough for you to be seen. so give yourselves and us a little less grief and just be happy that we are going to find one another when we both are ready.

see if you keep selling the fast food burger, how are you supposed to sell the gourmet one that you are? teehee

and the grease has to drip down your arm while all the other kids got mcdonalds?

you poor neglected child. teehee

no such thing as the nice guy. men to shy to ask for what they want and men too arrogent to stop once they get it.

here's the thing, communicate, communicate, communicate. open your mouth tell the girl you like her. its that simple people. you don't like what you got move on! don't settle in the first place. you aren't finding what you are looking for, maybe it doesn't exist. find the cons you can live with and the pros will make it worth it.

actually it does. thank you.