It 'seems' like people who are weaker in personality tend to date more often in the long term. Maybe it's because they aren't as picky? Maybe because there will always be less 'chiefs' than 'indians' so there are less options? Who knows.

For me, even friendships with people who are weaker start to aggravate me after a while. People who never seem to have a strong opinion about anything, who never argue with you (even friendly debating), people who never get worked up or excited or angry ... just bore me to tears after a short while. When I dated people like that, it was worse. I could usually deal with it for a while, but after some time I might as well have been single for all the input or work they put into anything when they knew someone else was there to make all the decisions if they didn't. Can't stand that doormat personality, the 'bury your head in the sand' or 'flee' response is just... revolting.

Eh well, different perspective here. Since I live in the state in the US with the highest level of uninsured people - my first thought was, maybe he knows and can't afford to have the dental work done. If it's medical, not dental, maybe he can't afford to see a doctor and a series of specialists and pay for testing, treatment, etc.

If he's a great guy otherwise, seems like it would be a waste to not look past it.

Eh, just let it roll off your back. Unless your 'intro' emails were way crazy, there's nothing in your profile that's a major turnoff. Quite the opposite. You're good looking, write intelligently, and seem to have the confidence to take the first step in contacting someone.

Just remind yourself - it's their loss.

I wish you the very best in finding someone now that you are 'back in the saddle' after a very sudden and tragic loss.

~Nicole

I have to be the voice of dissension on this one. My experience with men who self-identify as 'nice' is that they are weak in a variety of ways. I realize it is a blanket statement and total generalization, and that there may be exceptions - yet overall I do not seek 'nice' men. I think there are a couple of types of men who might call themselves 'nice'.

First are the users. Some men who call themselves 'nice' are saying that because they think women want to hear it. They start calling themselves 'nice, cuddly, loving, gentle' etc.. in an attempt to feed into keywords they think women want. To me, all that says is that they aren't confident enough with who they really are and think they can't get a date without pretending to be someone they aren't.

Second are the wimps. Some men who use those keywords to describe themselves really are just putting a good spin on the more accurate words: 'doormat, dependent, clingy, needy, emotional' etc.. I've dated my share of these guys, and I can't stand them in the least. Not a single one considered himself 'weak and needy' - each considered himself 'nice'.

Any day of the week, I'd rather spend time with a guy who is honest about his faults. A guy who considers himself a sometimes jerk, recognizes that his manners come and go, isn't looking for someone to take care of them like another child, and admits to various other faults.

I have the kind of personality that completely tramples over someone who is too nice, and that just ends up hurting them. It took me years to figure it out, but now I specifically look for guys who have a personality more in line with mine. If I have a moment when I start *****ing, a man who backs down right away and gives in and starts pacifying me just gets me more irritated. I've tried the 'nice' guys, and ended up with a variety of seemingly normal guys who all turned out to be doormats and about 1/4 of which wanted to wear my lingerie. If I wanted someone who described themselves as nice, cuddly, loving, and gentle - I'd date a woman.

Nice is not a good word to my ears - calling yourself a 'good man' ... now that has a totally different connotation.

It's unfortunately quite true. I sure know how to pick em, but this was even a new one for me. It's one of the major reasons I decided to stay single for a while before getting in to dating.

Woah, I missed that the first time around. That would've been a huge problem for me, one of my major pet peeves. I hate people talking during movies, I've gotten up and moved seats before because they wouldn't quiet. You showed amazing patience tonight.

Age seems to be more of an issue at certain stages of life. The 20's is definitely one of them.

Of course, there's the 'men mature slower' bit that leads to a lot of women dating older men.

Obviously, you found out where the line in the sand gets drawn for you. Granted, there might be exceptions, and you have to take those on a case-by-case basis. For instance, when I was 21 I had started my second company, had my first child, my own house and vehicles, etc.. I had practically nothing in common with people my age, so I dated older men.

You might find a 21 year old living a life where she's had to grow up fast, someone that isn't into the normal 'kiddie' crap and it wouldn't hurt to give it a chance. Overall though, I'd say it's safe to draw a line where you feel comfortable.

Better than flowers by a mile.

Dear Ex,

I hope that you are doing well in your medical progress to become a woman, and that you fully get to enjoy the hell of shaving, pantyhose, high heels, and underwire bras.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck finding someone who is good with a frying pan weapon when you start lying through your teeth.

I am definitely happy for you that you are having your male parts removed since you have no ability to handle a life that involves your kids.

P.S. - I want my corset back.

Maybe have a little chit-chat about what gets them in the mood. Perhaps there's a kink involved that they're uncomfortable sharing. Could be as simple as a few trigger words or actions that can change thing. On the flip side, it could be medical, it could be stress, it could be exhaustion, etc..

It's what they all say Grates on the testosterone to consider the possibility, but it definitely does happen.

Definitely no. I've asked out EVERY man I've ever dated. In fact, it would surprise the heck out of me (in a good way) for a guy to do it first for a change.

Definitely nightly sex. Consider it a natural sleep aid for the light sleeper and a muscle relaxant for the thrasher.

From personal experience, being a curvy type of gal, I'd have to definitely say there's plenty of men out there who like a woman with some curves to her.

The average weight has gone up over the years, and a size 12 is average nowadays. A size 16 is just a little extra padding, no big deal. I think the biggest difference is between a woman who is curvy and carries it well, and the woman who considers herself 'fat' instead of curvy. It shows in how you walk, how you carry yourself, how you interact, if you don't love yourself. Walk the walk like you're the sexiest Rubenesque goddess, and your confidence just makes it all that much sexier.

On a lousy day, I take a good look at myself and remind myself of all the things I love about my body, and all the things that I think make me beautiful. Reprogram your mind to see your faults in an amusing or quirky way. I've got my share of stretch marks from having two children - I call them my battle scars. Besides, the older you get, and the more experience you have, the more you know your way around, backward, forward, upside down etc.. in the bedroom. Consider age and screwy relationships just plenty of experience to add to the things that make you a sexy goddess ;)

But whether or not most men like larger women isn't really the question is it? My view on it is, do you really want to be with a man that doesn't? If you're looking long-term, do you really want to be stressing yourself out over every pound and wrinkle as the years go by, while he's gaining himself a pot belly and his bal*s start to hang to his knees? If you can look past how he'll age, don't you deserve someone who will do the same?

Soo... in the longrun, even if only 2% of the male population liked larger women... consider it a different way - only 2% of men are good enough for you. On your percentage curiousity, I'd say most men would say they prefer slimmer women if they're talking out loud in front of people. Yet we know that more women are larger these days, so in reality, it's certainly not stopping them is it? :)

I just wanted to give a little wave and say that I think this site has got some potential.

I browsed a few of the 'popular' paid dating sites and didn't find many guys that were interesting. On those I think every single man had 'romantic, gentle, and lovable' on their profiles and it started to make me ill. The profiles I've read over here seem a bit more real, thank goodness.

It's been many years since I last did some online dating, and all I'm hoping to find is at least one person that turns out to be interesting to spend a little free time with.

Here's to looking!

I've sent some guys out messages already, but I have no problem approaching men.

There are a lot of women who will wait for men to make the first move - if that's the kind of woman you're looking for, you'll need to write first.