renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/16/08 02:56 PM
I was a victim of domestic violence. Tell you what...I didn't stick around.

I know others (men/women) that did stick around..and their relationship didn't get better. There was always fear still in them.

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/16/08 09:00 AM
Half full. tongue2

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/16/08 06:57 AM
I can't understand what goes on in a predators mind when they do something like that to a child. I only wish I could have had the courage to write that same letter to Santa at such a young age. What I would do to wrap my arms around these children to protect them. If only my arms could reach. :cry:

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/16/08 06:22 AM
I can't explain the thoughts moving in my mind right now...But I can say ... I can see how that would make sense.

renderedspeechless's photo
Sat 12/13/08 03:01 PM
I think a lot of people (guys and ladies) are losing morals more and more. Kind of pathetic, I would say. Although, most people I know blame it on past relationships, where their lover was unfaithful. Makes my head spin!frustrated

renderedspeechless's photo
Sat 12/13/08 02:57 PM
If all these thoughts would be running through your mind then you probably don't trust him. If you don't trust him...y are you with him?

renderedspeechless's photo
Fri 12/12/08 04:12 PM
I don't even know what to say about them.

renderedspeechless's photo
Fri 12/12/08 09:50 AM
Edited by renderedspeechless on Fri 12/12/08 09:51 AM
Had a guy tell my "I think I am falling love with you." on the first date.

Honestly, I didn't know what to do...although, I laughed out loud for a second and soooo didn't mean to! Needless to say, I didn't call him back.

renderedspeechless's photo
Thu 12/11/08 10:25 AM
OMG that's horrible! Still funny, though. laugh

renderedspeechless's photo
Thu 12/11/08 10:22 AM
Welcome!!!waving waving waving waving waving waving

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:32 PM
Heya!!! Take your coat off and stay awhile.

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 05:17 PM
Avenged Sevenfold - Dear God

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 11:57 AM
Yay me! :banana:

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 10:36 AM
Edited by renderedspeechless on Tue 12/09/08 10:36 AM

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 10:34 AM
Thank you, pkd. It means alot to me. Good luck!

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 07:10 AM
Been breathing so efficiently without you,
Having chuckled, blushed and danced in wildflowers.
Zero feelings, judgments having to do with you,
Until the intoxicating twilight hours.

Trying to keep hidden the move adjacent,
Although not truly trying to disguise.
Rather ideally wanting to see you pass by,
Wanted the revelation to be a surprise.

My discerning thoughts surrounding my world,
Been filled with what you might consider.
If what I wanted was to befriend you,
Would it take you years to ponder.

Having noticed you seated in proximate distance,
Exasperating myself to not staring you down.
Made the best effort to look noticeably enjoyable,
As not to reveal my reprehensible frown.

So I downed a few more than expected,
And staggered my way back to domestic existence.
The whole way scheming what I would compose,
In the damnation I’d leave in your mailbox.

I scribbled a few moments on the furrowed contour,
Then made my way past glaring streetlights.
Glancing back and sideways as if someone was following,
Almost thinking they would realize my plight.

Creeping into the shadows I left it,
Then continued home with no remorse.
Hoping what I did was substantial,
Wishing you think that too, of course.

Now the minutes and hours are my enemy,
As I wait impatiently for your reply.
The days seem to turn to decades,
Each time I notice you drive by.



renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 07:09 AM
Showed up unannounced today,
Although trying to reach you a million times.
Regretting the miles to find you,
It was the nightmare I feared.

The corners of your mouth raised,
But with wide eyes trying to disappear from mine.
I should’ve known at that moment,
I chose to be blind.

Blind so my sky doesn’t rain,
Hurricanes of mass despair.
Imploring, penetrating for shelter,
In a universe that‘s unaware.

Those dreadful notes came from your lips,
I’ve tenderly tasted many times before.
Listening, my body wants to collapse,
Also needing to touch you once more.

I fall to my knees while the rain pours down,
Recollecting the familiarity of this storm.
Attempting to grasp the thoughts surrounding me,
You keep telling me that you mean no harm.

You say that you’re sorry,
Toxicity hanging onto every word.
Difficult to comprehend I realize,
Just that it’s so ****ing hard.

Lingering miles away from me,
I am sentenced two days of depression,
Acting like it’s an honor I am bestowed,
Sense your desire of suppression…

Moonbeams crowd my twilight hour,
As I attempt this goodbye to amazement.
Still picturing your silhouette walking away,
Staggering and penitent…

When sunlight creeps through my eyelids,
I’ll be frozen without your warmth beside.
Hollow echoes where our laughter used to exist ,
Only one more magnificence that has died.

I Wish for you a sweet departing,
But curse you, affectionately, to think of me.
Farewell to the one I immersed my wild into,
Forever Good Morning, (whispering) Good Night and Sweet Dreams.

renderedspeechless's photo
Tue 12/09/08 06:51 AM
Confined by this desire for contentment,
I have lost my way and decayed the confidence.
Giving every ounce of this silhouette that crowds me,
Leaving respect little to chance.

Conscience has failed to lead me,
Through the moonbeams, cascading my twilight.
Or have I been blind to the effects I truly covet,
I must come to understand this demeaning plight.

I pray about the future with my eyes wide shut,
Hands closed, when I should reaching out.
I let deceit and betrayal consume this one heart,
When all I want is to scream and let it out.

That’s what this is,
My revelation into the years I descend into.
Mildly a grin on the binder of this notebook,
Ultimately, a smile I can die with.

I am strong and relentless,
My face, bright, with the beauty all around me.
Finally ready to love, laugh and MEAN IT,

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