-What does it mean to "give your heart away" to another?

-Can one "give their heart away" to more than one person at a time?
Since this phrase is a figure of speech, that we have only one heart makes no difference. The proverbial "heart" isn't actually our heart - it's just our love.

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I fell in love with this girl after knowing her for several months. We would spend everyday studying together, talking together, always very close. I think she loved me as well.

In her culture, however, girls often marry their first boyfriend, and girls who are 25 and not married feel *a lot* of pressure to find a guy. We're 20, though, and I do not see myself getting married before 30. For this reason, I never made a move to make our relationship romantic.

Finally, I decided to keep our relationship platonic. As months passed, I came to realize that the way our relationship was, was entirely fulfilling for me, except sexually of course. I also found that I was often attracted to other women and even "fell" for other women. Yet at the same time, I still had this love for this first girl.

I concluded that perhaps the love between friends is the same love between lovers. Maybe the the big difference between a friend and a lover is sexuality, and perhaps the intimacy that sex can bring.

Is it possible that the idea of "giving your heart away" is fairytale business? Maybe, the proverbial "heart" is always ours to love with, but never ours to "give away." If so, we are never restricted to love just one person. This restriction would be artificial, imposed by societal norms and culture, and due to other factors like simplicity or gender equality (maybe it's simpler legally and logistically to have one wife, and polygamy is sometimes unfair towards women).

I suppose the final question is - is love what we've been told it is as we grew up? Something singular (in the sense that we can only *truly* give all our romantic love to one person), eternal, and pure? Rather, I would offer that love is not singular, love is as imperfect as we humans are imperfect, and that romantic love is nothing but platonic love + sexual attraction.

Well, I apologize for the length. I'm interested in any thoughts you guys may have. ;-)

I gave my heart away, and we were married for 20 great years. so. if miss right came along i would give my heart away again

I can't explain the thoughts moving in my mind right now...But I can say ... I can see how that would make sense.

I gave my heart away seven years ago only to
find out all he wanted was money.
Wish I had known this seven years ago then i
would had left him.
He found someone better and dumped me a week ago
It will be months before I trust anyone again.

Sorry to hear that. A better one will come along

He stole my heart the moment he laid eyes on me 20 years ago. He will always have it with him in heaven.

im jsut not sure of anything.

Miss renderedspeechless,

It's glad to hear that some of what I said made sense to you. It makes sense to me, but I was wondering if I am crazy, lol.

But...perhaps you'd be kind enough to clarify what exactly you were referring to when you said, "That would make sense"?


Miss HDPat,
I'm sorry to hear that. I can't begin to understand how you must feel.
Forgive me for sounding pessimistic, but I hope you'll find a ray of light among the rain clouds:

Perhaps, no one on this world is worth the "trust" that marriage asks us to give. I don't know if you live in the US, but upon marrying, half of one's property automatically belongs to the significant other.
To me, this is asking for far too much trust of both parties. When you find another man who you feel worthy of your affection, maybe legal marriage and the sharing of money should not be part of the deal. Of course, when living together, both parties must invest together in a house, food, etc etc. However, if financial assets can by and large always be kept separate, maybe you can find some sense of security in your financial independence.

I wish you luck.

Another question:

What is so wrong about wanted to get laid? I know a lot of woman want to have sex as well. It's only natural, isn't it?

first question: when you give your heart away you know it with every cell in your body. If you have to question it then you haven't yet

second question: hell no there's nothing wrong with it. You're 20. you should be screwin like a rabbit and not worrying about relationships for another ten years or so

Thanks for your response, quiet.

Second answer: Lol, okay. I'll get to that screwin' after finals are done. ;-P

First answer: If you can say you "know it when you feel it," then you should also be able to say that you "know it when you don't feel it."

Well, I know plenty of people who thought they felt it, but it turns out they didn't. Somehow, your first answer just...sounds like a fairytale to me. Not to be rude. =\