I was driving home from work and traffic as usual was really bad. I needed to use the restroom and thought that it would be to uncomfortable to hold it until I got home. So I stoped by a service station and went to the mens bathroom that was located outside the service station....IT WAS LOCKED. Here is my question: Why do service stations lock their restrooms...Do they think that someone is going to go in and actually clean them?

A limo carrying the Pope was driving down interstate 10 near lafayette Louisiana. Out of no where the Pope told the limo driver that he wanted to drive the limo. Not wanting to argue with the Pope the limo driver gladly abliged. It wasn't long before the Pope was doing in excess of 80 miles per hour. Soon there after he was pulled over by a deputy officer. Upon walking up to the window the deputy said, " Hold on a minute sir I will be right back," and immediately goes back to his patrol car to radio in to the sheriff.
" Sheriff we got a problem here outside Lafayette on interstate 10." " What's the problem the Sheriff replied." " Sheriff we got a limo that I tracked doing 80 in a 65 mile per hour zone." The sheriff replied, " no problem there boy give him a ticket." The deputy replied, " I don't know sheriff this is a pretty important person." " More important than me said the Sheriff?" "yes sir more important than you Sheriff."Well is he more important than mayor Brusard?" yes sir sheriff he is more important than mayor Brusard." "Well he can't be more important than governor Tibedoux?" " Oh yea Sheriff he is even more important than governor Tibedoux." The Sheriff getting a little disgrunteled by the whole situation finaly asked. " Well hell boy who you got inside that limo?" The deputy replied, " I don't know sheriff but he's got the Pope driving for him."

problem solved....I somehow intimidated the cat enough to send him down the stairwell. He is now a 9th floor problem....good luck with that

I have a stray cat on the tenth floor of my office building where I work. This is truly one of the biggest cats I have ever seen. He or She is standing in the middle of the office hissing as to say bring it on. I have been chosen to extract this cat...I have several options....What would you do.

I am recently divorced and work very long hours so I don't have a lot of time to meet someone at this very moment. Would anybody in or around the Houston area like to go to my company Christmas party December 15,2008. I of course need you to live in or around the Houston area. Take a look at my picture and profile and let me know? I really need the community to come through for me on this one because I don't have much time. I am very much a gentlemen and will take very good care of you this night. No strings attached I just need a good date. Otherwise I am going to be forced to go out and meet someone in the next 10 days.....I really don't have time to do this and though there are some female interests at work, I would rather not give the impression that I was wanting anything serious with a co-worker. This event will be held at a very nice place in Houston Tx. email me and let me know...Daron

on one of the occassions this happened to me I remember waking up and saying to myself Uh Oh!!! It was the middle of winter so I quickly shut of the heat. When she awoke it was like 30 degrees in my house. I told her my heater had broken down in the middle of the night. She offered to let me come over to her apartment but I refused saying I was awaiting the repair man that was suppose to arrive late in the afternoon. Just a suggestion...

Have you ever invited someone over to your house, had a one night stand and awoke the next morning to realize that person was much more attractive intoxicated under dim lights. How did you convince them to leave? What desperate tactics did you use?

I would sit him down and allow him to watch E.T to make him feel more at home. Encourage him to drink a fith of jack Daniels and when he falls asleep perform scientific research on him. You know reverse the roles for a change.

okay, lets leave the lead out...say its a empty parachute thats bag weighs the same as a normal parachute yet you can't look inside of them...Would you still do it?

If somebody told you that they would give you a million dollars if you jumped out of a plane with a parachute would you do it. Here's the catch though..On board the plane there are 20 parachutes and one of them has lead in it. You get to pick the parachute of your choice but remember one has lead in it and you will fall to your death if you pick that one...Would you take that challenge for a million dollars?

I would like some feedback on my overall profile. I am new to this site and would like the imput...Thanks

I use to suffer from the night terrors. It was due to the fact that I was actually suffering from anxiety panic disorder. I would have an anxiety panic attack in my sleep and wake up gasping for air. Scared me half to death. I realized I needed to go see a doctor. I was given a clean bill of health however I was diagnosed with anxiety panic disorder and put on two forms of medication. One to release more seratonin in my brain for calmness the other was to help me relax and sleep at night. The night terrors went away in about 3 days and I sleep a constant 8 hours now. I still have anxiety attacks but they are much more managible and happen less often. The whole key is that once your brain realizes there is no threat you will become more peaceful with your situation. I have been on medication for 1 month now and have seen a tremendous improvement. I feel for you because I went through all of that. This disorder will not kill you...if it did I would be long gone. Get some professional help so you can live a more productive happy life....I promise it will get better for you if you do that...Best of luck

If you think I'm sexy and you really want me come on baby let me know...

I truly thank everybody for there support...you'all seem like very genuine people. Thanks once again...by the way people from Texas use you'all a whole bunch even if we are educated...go figure?

Sweet dreams to all, and may you have a pleasant and productive Tuseday...

Thats a really good thing. It's just about my bedtime and wanted to have pleasant dreams. Pasta noodles and silly string would be a weird dream though.

a lashing noodle from what I understand is extremely painful. I saw it used in the movie Casino Royale (James Bond) flick. I find the silly string a much more deserving punishment in my case...

It was brought to my attention by another member of the community that my story of the Beaver and the Scorpion was actually allready written by someone else. It was an Aesop Fable. I was told this story by my grandmother at an early age and had no idea. So I appologize to the community for not being more up-to-date with my literature. I certainly meant no harm.

Silence sleeps inside my soul
hope is lost in the fallen snow.
Footprints dissapear without a trace
miss-understood feelings take their place.
What ever happened to that warm embrace
the kind that makes you feel in place.
The subtleness of a heart so kind
enduring love and peace of mind.
Holding on to thoughts so dear
as the eye releases a quite tear.
To miss the one you held so close
is a tragedy that hurts the most.
And though a new love will appear
my soul remains with you my dear.

Why could we never see
that you and I were meant to be.
Two bridges connected by endless seas
washed away in misery.
Why could we not be a family
and enjoy God's gift for eternity.
That I trusted you and you trusted me
and our love would shine for all to see.
Why was this not a reality
selfish acts of tragedy.
I blame you and you blame me
He's wrong she's wrong can't you see.
And how must have our children felt
as our displeasure with each other showed throughout.
Mommie Why is Daddy mad
Daddy why is Mommy sad?
Questions from our children's hearts
that pierce their souls as we depart.
And as we go our seperate ways
there's one more thing that I must say.
I don't regret the years we spent
once in love and now content.
To give up what was meant to be
now washed away in endless seas.