some_what_pushover's photo
Tue 04/03/18 12:55 AM

Why would you want to ruin the gym. The gym is for yourself to workout, not to be hitting on women. Don't s*** where you eat.


But I don’t eat or poop at the gym...

some_what_pushover's photo
Tue 03/13/18 11:08 PM
All good advice. Thanks minglers

some_what_pushover's photo
Sat 03/10/18 12:18 AM

I would have to agree with Tom, it's all about confidence and self-esteem. They are not only confident in approaching a complete stranger and risking rejection, but also they understand that rejection is a way of life and don't let that fear stop them as they know that they won't lose anything by it. The best feeling about that is that they can always cheer themselves up by knowing they at least gave it a shot.

What I find a bit confusing is your statement about married women. So what you are saying is you find it easier to walk up to a married woman and chat her up then a single one?


Sorry i meant that its easier to talk to married women because there are no expectations. We both are not interested so its cool no pressure

some_what_pushover's photo
Fri 03/09/18 08:37 PM
So how do some guys do it? Just walk up to a random lady and start talking.

There is this lady I find mesmerizing at my gym but well it’s the gym so I don’t want to come off as just another creep. Talking to women at work, no problem and it very easy to talk to married women but just random women in random places is hard.

How do they do it?

some_what_pushover's photo
Thu 11/09/17 06:07 AM

Is there a chance the passion will grow passion grow in the future?

Sure. There's a reason why "settling" tends to work in the short and medium term.

But are you under the impression that experiencing "passion" in and of itself is some sort of signal that a "relationship" is successful, or deep, or meaningful, or is guaranteed to provide what you want, will last, or anything of much meaning whatsoever?


What you think?

I think you were motivated to ask the question for a reason.

Are you experiencing communication from her (direct or indirect) that she expects you to be responding to her with "passion?"
That it's "supposed" to be there in the "relationship?"

Are you relying on "supposed to" or a "script" to determine the relationship and what it means?

I’m back out here trying to date and I must admit I’m somewhat annoyed.

What exactly are you annoyed with?
Her? Her behavior? Feeling the need to live up to expectations she is communicating but no motivation to do so, to reciprocate?
Just dating in general and not getting someone to do what you want when you want it without having to tell them?


she doesn’t have the take charge personality that I enjoy...Not sure how to proceed at this point.

So are you using strangers on a dating site to sublimate a perceived lacking in her personality?

There you go.
People tend to do that with their opposite sex "just friends."
You can be in a relationship with this woman, and come to us when you need someone to tell you what to do.

Other than that, is she expecting you to have the "take charge personality," which in many cases is expressed through behavior motivated by feelings of "passion" and that's what you're negatively responding to and getting annoyed with?


1 I felt that like my relationships in the past that i would be excited by a new person. That in the early stages of a relationship there is a lot of passion, desire and excitement. I don’t have that feeling with this new girl. Wasn’t sure if this is something that could come later.

2.Was in a relationship for a long time and now that i am dating again I’m somewhat annoyed with the “ritual”. Just miss having the person that i knew and didn’t have to play all these games to prove I’m trustworthy, etc.

3 when I mentioned take charge. I like women that don’t wait on a man to do things and provide. She is the opposite. Man makes the moves the plans and provides not really what I’m into.

Hope this clears somethings up. As you may tell a lot is on me ad not her. She is a good lady just not what I’m use to...

some_what_pushover's photo
Mon 11/06/17 08:17 PM
Wish I could get in on that arranged marriage lol
I was in a relationship for a while and got use to certain things now I’m back out here trying to date and I must admit I’m somewhat annoyed. She seems like a good friend but she doesn’t have the take charge personality that I enjoy.
So much that isn’t there that I wish was.

Not sure how to proceed at this point. Been single like 1and a half years now

some_what_pushover's photo
Mon 11/06/17 07:00 PM
So I’ve been on quite a few dates with a woman but I don’t feel any passion. I really enjoy hanging out with her but I don’t feel much physical desire. No interest in romance with her at the moment. Is there a chance the passion will grow passion grow in the future? What you think?

some_what_pushover's photo
Fri 08/04/17 09:42 PM

What was the reason for the relationship to end?

She was mean and didn't understand a lot of basic etiquette of life. For example don't criticize someoe's lifesyle when you are staying with them for free. Then get mad when they kick you out.

some_what_pushover's photo
Fri 08/04/17 08:55 PM
I freaking hate dating. So considering going back to ex...

Anyone ever consider getting back with ex for various reasons? What is your thought process on the matter?

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 06:52 PM


For me it doesn't matter if i have kids or not the pros and cons are down the middle so the thought of entering a relationship with a kid already there is appealing to me however.

Jesus.
To me this is like saying "I've always wanted a puppy, but I don't really want the responsibility. I'm going to date a woman with
a puppy to get real world experience on whether or not I really want a puppy."



Maybe this will make more sense.
I like kids not a fan of babies.the appeal of dating a woman with kids is that I could get a kid without the baby part.
Changing diapers, waking up in old hours of the night, doesn't sound good at all

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 06:51 PM


For me it doesn't matter if i have kids or not the pros and cons are down the middle so the thought of entering a relationship with a kid already there is appealing to me however.

Jesus.
To me this is like saying "I've always wanted a puppy, but I don't really want the responsibility. I'm going to date a woman with
a puppy to get real world experience on whether or not I really want a puppy."



Maybe this will make more sense.
I like kids not a fan of babies.the appeal of dating a woman with kids is that I could get a kid without the baby part.
Changing diapers, waking up in old hours of the night, doesn't sound good at all

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 04:13 PM
When i first started out in online dating and saw a woman having answered yes to the question of do you have kids it was an instant skip page for me. What ran through my mind was:
Will her kids like me and will that affect whether or not she continues in a relationship with me?
Is the baby's father still in the picture and is he the jealous type?
How soon would i have to enter the family?
And a host of other expectations that i was not aware of.


But it made me feel biased. An ******* if you will. Like i was doing it in real life to these women. "Kids? Pass!
There is just so much to having a relationship wth a woman w/kids that i don't know which frightens me away i suppose. For me it doesn't matter if i have kids or not the pros and cons are down the middle so the thought of entering a relationship with a kid already there is appealing to me however.

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 05:16 AM

I haven't myself dated a woman with kids yet, but I know lots of people who have, and I've dated women who had other family-related responsibilities.

The main thing is, to realize that you personally can never be the ONLY reason why she does anything, or doesn't do something, no matter how much she loves you. You have to get yourself to think of the bigger picture at all times, of the children as well as the mother.

And one of the most challenging facts you MUST get through your head and keep there always, is that unless and until you marry the mother AND adopt the children as your own, AND the children decide to go along with that...

...that you are NOT their father, and no universal sense of how children should be raised should ever guide your thinking. If you forget or fail to recognize that that is true, you will just be another outsider trying to run someone else's life to satisfy your own ego.


Oh man. You killing me Larry! Lol
Sounds like a huge difference. I don't mind not being the main reason for anything, it's just having to get the kids to accept you and all that

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 04:53 AM
Oh no I'm sorry to hear that.
Thanks for sharing though

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 08/02/17 04:38 AM
If anyone has dated a woman with kids can you share with me some of you experiences with the difference between dating a woman with kids vs a woman w/o kids? Pro? Cons?
Woman can chime i with. Their experience as well.

some_what_pushover's photo
Tue 04/25/17 10:39 PM

Well you are amicable to instruction which is good.

I came back and reread your profile and factored in your age, and you might want to do a little more tuning up.

Starting a profile with Hey usually makes an adult woman start sniffing around for the the end result of hay. Try something a little more formal like Hello.

Unless you have duel or advanced degrees you really want to explain why you are pushing a decade as a student.

Might be the perfect time
to show a little gratitude for the family, entry-level employer, or scholarship program that got you through. Since massive student debt is intimidating if you worked your way through or busted yourself getting good grades a little low key brag is all good.

And hopefully you are not just planning to lay around on your degree you probably want to at least mention a career plan and a target
J-O-B.

And maybe even your living arrangements. 30 May not totally be "Failure to Launch" but if I were your age I would NOT even move in the direction of a guy who might just be looking for another girlfriend to move in on so he can play day and night. SORRY but college is still considered play in the real world.


Good catch! I didn't even think about that gap.
Btw i am using my degree. I start teaching in August. Almost done with the credential program :)

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 04/19/17 08:33 PM

Most of the photos are either blurry or taken in crappy lighting. You could use a little more information in your essay about who you are and the type of partner you seek. Otherwise, it's not bad.


How dare you insult my photo quality sir! Good day to you!
Lol just kidding
Thanks for the input

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 04/19/17 08:30 PM
I haven't been on a long time I started a long time ago. Met someone and "deactivated" my account. Just got out of a relationship not too long ago so i thought I give this a try again that's all

some_what_pushover's photo
Wed 04/19/17 07:34 PM
Have any notes for me about my profile

some_what_pushover's photo
Mon 09/12/16 10:12 PM
yeah i hear you :)

I don't even know where to start now. I've been "domesticated" for so long that i feel like i can't handle the wild single life.

i use to be very confident now i don't even know what to do out here. Im all outta wack. one thing in particular is that if i someone i might like i just went to tal to them. now i overthink things and miss opportunities. I can i get my "game" back?