The last time my heart fluttered was when I realised I’d lost my bank card! I panicked so much that it made my heart flutter rapidly.

Intelligent , compassionate men make my heart flutter all the time

Interesting word choice...


Infatuation


Very likely


Many meaningful relationships start like this.
Infatuation!

This woman is obviously intelligent enough to capture your attention and beautiful enough to hold it.
Since, by your own admission, you do not know her well as the person she actually is, how can you know if she is or isn't "long-term material"?
Are you defining her according to your own expectations or are you allowing her to define herself?

It can be a pain separating the wheat from the chaff.
Especially, when the same chaff keeps showing up.

Getting back into dating, should be done at your pace.
It's your game plan to make.

I believe in meeting someone you first met online as soon as possible, more of a meet and greet than a first date, but it maybe better for you to spend a little more time in messaging before meeting each other. That way you will discover more about them first, and if you both really do want to meet up, and if and when you do meet they will not feel quite the stranger. Good luck in your search.

I've never been a fan of dating unless I've already found someone with potential. THEN I enjoy it.
It does help if you change the way the deal with it. For instance start seeing it as meeting someone new and having a nice time over cappuccinos. Don't make a first date (meet & greet) too long. An hour to see if there's potential is enough. And a non-alcoholic beverage is enough too, no need for more for a meet & greet.
A meet & greet shouldn't cost much, not financially and not in time & energy.

Also... a man calling himself a pushover is not attractive.
People that have self-confidence & carry themselves well are. If you have problems here then work on it.
Women want a strong man by their side, not a pushover. And strong means having self-confidence, knowing your worth, yet being sensitive and caring.

And when going on a meet & greet, remember you don't owe anything. It's 30 - 60 mins in and then out. It's only testing the waters, chatting a bit, and if there is potential a real date, if not, polite & friendly goodbyes.

Really? So you're placing all your bets on this woman now? That's an awful lot of power to give away.
You know, you seem like a nice guy, why not change your perspective a little and see it as "I'm getting the hang of this." Just enjoy it a bit, get out of your thinking as that's never good.
That's a much better perspective than "I got to get this right otherwise I give up/I have failed."

To be honest, I think the problem is that you're trying to make a round out of a square. And that is hard work, and it won't work either in the end.
In other words: If you were dating the right woman for you things would flow naturally. You wouldn't have to jump through hoops.
Dating can and should make you happy, it should evolve rather smoothly in a way that is pleasurable.
From what you've posted this isn't. This is hard work. Maybe the only thing you should stop is trying to make it work with someone who's not a good match for you. But don't put all your dreams and your future on such a person!

That's okay, but still I'd be careful not to overdo things. Gift-giving is best and most appreciated when it's unexpected and it doesn't always have to be as costly as a day at a spa. It's especially the small things, small gestures, that are appreciated.
And also, if it becomes routine it becomes predictable and that always gets boring, sometimes even annoying.

That is a nice idea, but... isn't that a bit much for a woman you're not really in relationship with? Basically you said you were just friends. Personally I feel that's overdoing it. That's more something you'd give your partner as a real treat or birthday pressie or something.

A day at the spa for herself..

A cute cuddly bear, can even be a small one, it's the thought that counts.

A keychain with something that's personal

I've gotten a golden lotus flower (metal) and I loved it. I think it was to be a t-light holder, but I'm not using it that way

Just anything that you know she likes, that matches her interests. And again, it doesn't have to be big/expensive.
Pay attention when you're out and about to what she likes. Go to a promenade with nice shops and take mental notes.

Talk to her about it?
You understand this is part of your "relationship" growth?
Being open and honest about what's really going on with you mentally and emotionally? How you're handling relationship stress and changes and demands?

That it's an especially bad idea to ask a bunch of strangers who don't know you, or her, what you "should" do in your relationship? Where it can easily lead to an unrealistic idea that you work up in your head, come to conclusions, make decisions, and then kind of "ambush" her with something you've already worked on, or they find out in hindsight you've done something that affects them but they were never told about?


Do you understand that if you seriously consider it "waiting" then you don't really respect or possibly understand her reasons, you're just arbitrarily putting in time because you think you'll get what you want?

That's up to you to decide. I think people have been pretty clear about what they would do, and think you should do.
What you decide is up to you.
Are you willing to spend more time on a woman to possibly find out there's nothing in the end, or that you are not a match, or not?
Personally I wouldn't date this person exclusively. You don't owe her nothing, like you say, you're just friends.
Think of this: Had she been a male friend, would you then sacrifice your future of finding love and a normal, healthy relationship for that friend?
Cos that's what you're doing right now: wasting you life and time on this while you want a normal relationship with a woman.

Keep it in your pants until the wedding night.
I'm a 34 year old virgin, it's easier avoiding sex than it is getting a girl into it.

Pushover, you are only friends with your lady.

I can understand why two people would refrain from having sex until marriage, but not to show a natural affection for one another by kissing seems a bit strange, I hope you at least hold hands. If you have waited months already I am sure you can wait until your wedding day.