People keep calling me a troll. But I'm not sure I know what they mean. If I remember correctly, a troll is a monster (fictional) that lives under bridges and tries to lure people down to him for whatever reason. I guess it wants to eat them or something. Anyway what's this got to do with me?

I don't know you tell me. I don't hangout in places like that.

Let's face it, women today would rather be with a Woody Allen than a Napoleon Bonaparte.

Tawtstrat, I was referring to the advice you gave me earlier about getting a friend to email my picture to me.

Tawtstrat, that's a bloody good idea. Thanks.

Whiskey always helps me.

I'm terrible aren't I?

It annoys me how so many nice looking birds settle for average looking guys.

Crystal, he clicked on something that resembled a camera. But I can't see anything that resembles a camera in my programs. So now what?

How do I gain access to it.

"Webcam", is that the little eye at the top of my screen? I am using a laptop.

No I do not.

Sweet cheeks, I don't even know what a "smartphone" is.

I don't know how to upload my picture so I can't bowl women over with my striking good looks. And my personality is not enough to make up for it so I keep getting knocked back. Women just don't want to take a chance with me. I understand there are a lot of unattractive men out there trying to take advantage but just because of a few rotten apples I am made to suffer as well. This is totally unfair! I might as well give up.

And before you tell me to get a prostitute I would just like to remind you that prostitution is illegal here in England. Anyway, I don't like the idea of having to wait in line for my turn. I am too good for that. I deserve better.

Yes I am. I would love to find a woman who I can have regular intimate encounters with. And I am not too fussy either. I need experience.

I don't think so. Because say I put a gun to a Christian's head, no doubt he'd beg for dear life. Kind of strange don't you think, considering how afterwards he'd go to heaven.

Too much of a gamble. You go all the way over there, they get cold feet and it's a no-show.

Shirley, you couldn't ignore me even if you tried.

I hear that the Jesuits used to chastise themselves whenever they thought about sex. Do you think it might work?

loovedoove. Well to be honest I don't think I'm ready for dating.