Thanks . . .this one is more like my personality

Shine


Raise your hands
have fun
and fall in love
with the day
with the moment
with life

Raise your hands
and take hold of the summer's breeze
and if you think
you can't hold onto the wind
just remember
all you need to do
is let it carry you

Raise your hands
smile
dance
and yes the world is watching
but that shouldn't matter
because
right now
you are the most important part of the world
love

So raise your hands
grasp the sun's warmth
spread it
and give the world
it's moment
in the spotlight
shine!!

Thanks . . .and no, that's not how I feel. I work with folks who suffer from depression and I just tried to take what they've talked to me about and express it as best as I could.

Depressed Thoughts

I stare out
into the world
as I hold tight
to the emptiness inside of me

I want
to be that leaf
floating ever so beautiful
to the wind's rhythm
I want to be
the sunrise stretching across the horizon
I want be anything
but the image
in the mirror

I stare out
into the world
as I hold tight
to the emptiness inside of me

Holding the knife
as tightly as I can
imagining death
from a single
self-inflicted wound
and for a very brief moment
I feel alive
I close my eyes
and feel the blood flow
onto the paper
forming the words I want to leave behind

I stare out
into the world
as I hold tight
to the emptiness inside of me

This darkness
this unbelievable cruelty
called life
torments me to the point
where I believe that no one can understand
what it feels like
to cry
time and again
only because I've survived another night
no one knows
that I hold my breath
hoping I will forget to breathe
no one knows
what it feels like
to be tempted to end this suffering
I believe I am alone
I believe I will die alone
and for the first time in days
I smile

I stare out
into the world
as I hold tight
to the emptiness inside of me

Domestic Questions

He used his hands
to show her
against
her face
against
her ribs
against
her chest
and her pain did not matter

It started
with an open hand
until her tears
begged for a closed fist
at least that's how he justified it

Her faults did this
his screams explained
as she covered herself
hoping he'd stop
“please stop”

Being torn
between love
and fear
keeps the door
too far away to open
but,
will the children walk in?
Do they hear us?
Do they know?
Does he know
how much his love hurts?

The Perfect Forever

When I
close my eyes
it's as if
I can hear
the quiet rain
falling
ever so gently upon my soul
as if each drop
were an angel's kiss

And when I
close my eyes
I see
you
beautifully drenched
with my shirt
pressed against your flesh
like a dream
born from Mother nature

It's midnight
and the misty rain
glistens
against the street lamps
like the sun
rising brilliantly over the world
it reminds me
of the love within your heart
that guides me
towards the
perfect forever

As always, another beautiful piece of written art

Hate


I hate the word long
because I
long for you

And I hate the word
here
because you are not here

There are other words too
ones that I hate
and yes
they have everything to do with you
words like
hope . . . because I cannot stop hoping
that one day
maybe
possibly
when there's a hurt that will haunt us for a lifetime
thoughts . . . because I'm tired of our memories
and yet
still
you're all I think about
living . . . because I lived with you
for you
and now
I have to live without you
and the word I hate most
is love . . . because I still love you

Perfection’s Shadow


Tonight
as with most nights of late
was as warm as summer could be imagined
hot
sticky
and near unbearable

Off in the corner
a fan hummed restlessly
chopping the air
while giving us a false sense
of a somewhat cooler evening

As the curtains
danced
every few minutes
or so
to the rhythm
of what was supposedly a gentle breeze
we talked
as sleep was not possible

The clock
along with the few stars
that seemed to have invaded the room
provided us with enough light
to see into each other's soul
and this too kept me awake

And as you spoke
midnight
made an imprint of your body
against the wall
and as you moved
as you smiled
I became lost in the painting
as I had never before
experienced the beauty
or the sound
of perfection

When Do We Ask

I can feel my blood
slowly spill
onto to the street
like an insipid drip

A common place action
to this city's heartbeat
that leaves few surprised
and as I drift into death
I ask
is this how it's supposed to feel

There was is no pain
not at this point
as the bullet holes mattered less
than my last thoughts

You read books
see movies
always asked what if
but when you live it
this thing called a slow death
nothing compares to it

Life
and all its grand wonderment
will be left behind . . .
I feel cold
and my breaths have grown shallow
as time becomes a meaningless
moment within a thousand other moments
soon to be forgotten

No, I don't want to die
though
we all will
but not like this
not knowing that there is but one or two minutes left
to ask
for forgiveness

Ashamed

Most nights
I cry
alone
burdened
by the thoughts
your darkness
has placed me in
praying
somehow
you could
untouch me

So tired
of feeling
your unwelcomed hands
invade my soul's
privacy

So tired
of the burning anger
you created
within me

It is
as if
I cannot breathe
and I
cannot hide
it is
as if
I am no longer whole
and I
want to die
this is the pain
you've caused
and it rages
so deeply
like a secret
I'm too ashamed to tell
you
took from me
innocence


And now
tonight
like most
other nights
I cry
wishing you could
somehow
untouch me
so that I would know
what it feels like
to be me
once again

Once Again

I want to feel
the night
just one more time
when the air was so cool
that you searched for warmth
in my arms

I want to feel
that moment
just one more time
when you felt as if you were
home
in my arms

I hope
and pray
that maybe
there will another time
another moment
where the night
shines it light upon us
and once again
I'll be able to hold you
until the sun rises

Earth's Gentle Breath

leaf
by leaf
by leaf
floating quietly
to the rhythm of the earth's gentle breath
as if they were searching
for a place to rest their soul

leaf
by leaf
by leaf
of magnificent hues
color the world life
each different
and each
the same as the one that fell before it

autumn's cool mornings
will eventually
fall victim to a colder day
but for now
leaf
by leaf
by leaf
silently expresses how beautiful
the world can be

Thanks for kind words

Closer

I don't want to cry
but today
I'm closer
to the end of my life

I don't want to remember
but today
that's all I can do
as there are so few tomorrows for me

It hurts to watch you
watch me
as I search for the strength
to continue living
knowing
that today
I'm closer

One week
one month
one year
there was no way of knowing
so we've waited
together
knowing soon
we will be apart

Heart


Beautifully slow
like still waters
relaxing
to the river's shimmering flow

It's something about summer
warm with the
intentionally hot
moments of being with her

Wine
music
and a slight breeze
makes life the epitome of fine

Sipping
the day's elixir
as we melt into
shooting star wishing

Growing closer
and closer
until she invites me
into her . . . heart
get your mind out of the gutter

An Imperfect Cold


It feels
like an imperfect cold
falling from heaven
with the grace of a lover's pain
burdened by the emotions
of I'm so sorry
and can't we just try to be . . .
please, baby

It feels
like an imperfect cold
falling from a brooding sky of dark clouds
with each drop proposing
a compromise
to let time
figure out where we are
as we try to figure out where we're going

I'm guessing
I could play the blues
and let our story play out
while the rain runs its course
I guess
I could let go
and not worry
while hoping the sun
will one day be
bright enough to wipe her tears away
but it's just so cold
without her next to me

You and I


Night's expression
a little laughter
wine
finger food
friends
you
and I

Music
fills the background
as the sun sets
to the rhythm
of the first moment
of many more to come tonight
as we feel our way
through the maze of life
love
and happiness

Night's expression
stars
rise one after another
conversation
dancing
more wine
fewer friends
until it's just
you
and I

The Endless Love

Once
in a long-ago moment
I could feel
the sun's warmth every time I heard her voice
it was as if her whispers
carried the day upon her words
taking me to a time where I could dream
the dream anyone in love
wants to dream

I could feel the sun setting
as the stars
eagerly waiting to shine their light upon our entwined souls
rose
one by one until heaven illuminated the dark
you see
with her there was always light

We celebrated
our first anniversary
and then
many more while watching our children grow
then our grandchildren
and through it all
I always felt the sun's warmth

And then suddenly
there was winter's cold
and I was alone, missing her
grieving
asking why
while holding tightly
every memory she gave me
and yet
in my hands was the emptiness of being alone
though every now and then
I can remember
conversations about nothing
that meant everything
and I still wait for each star to rise
hoping that I wish upon the one in which she resides
and wonder
if she can hear me when I say "I love you"

Effortlessly

Her touch
as gentle
and easy
as the autumn leaves falling effortlessly
one moment
after another
slowly and carefree
without knowing when and where they will land
begs me to ask
what,
if there is anything,
that I can do to have this time
for forever
because it's not enough
to have just until now

And as
the elegant warmth of her kiss
flows through my soul
as if time's meaning is the here and now
I close my eyes
and hope
wish
and pray
to remember tomorrow
because it is the lifetime of her love
that I live for