Hehe, you might be surprised at some of the stuff I get to put up with

Start of the 2nd verse is what really hits home...

by Theory of a Deadman

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So sick of the hobos always begging for change
I don't like how I gotta work and
They just sit around and get paid
I hate all of the people who can't drive their cars.
B**ch you better get outta the way
Before I start falling apart

I hate how my wife is always up my a**
She always wants to buy brand new things
But I don't have the cash.

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

How come I never get laid, nice guys always lose.
How could she have another headache
There's always some kind of excuse
I still hate my job, my boss is a ****
"I don't get paid nearly enough
To put up with all of your s**t"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

I hate that I can't tell when a girl's underage,
You know, I tell her she's a nice piece of a**,
Then her daddy punches me in the face

So if you're pi**ed like me
B**ches, here's what you gotta do
Put your middle fingers up in the air
Go on and say "F**K YOU!"

I hate my job, all of my rich friends
I hate everyone to the bitter end.
Nothing turns out right There's no end in sight
I hate my life!

So much at stake, can't catch a break
I hate my life
No, it's nothing new, hear "it sucks to be you"
I f**kin hate my life

I'm thinking dinner is the way to go.

Now...casual or fancy? And by that I don't mean McDonalds vs. "Le Pepe", just what kind of atmosphere should the place have?

Etrain, we could be in a worldwide "ammunition shortage" and your gun'd still have a full clip

Let's see...I can make computers work the same way the Fonz started the jukebox...I'm a good problem-solver and love to work with my hands...and two straight track championships must mean I can build and wheel an R/C truck around pretty good

...And that's EXACTLY why people love him

Plus my ex lives in California and I'm in Wisconsin, so I don't think any future girlfriends have to worry about me "sneaking off" to be with her again

I'm still pretty good friends with my ex, which is how we were for the longest time before we started dating. ~shrugs~ I dunno.

I work at a place that makes motorcycle bling, my boss has an old hot-rodded GTO, and is a bit of a General Motors fanboy. Dude's awesome

Quoted for the truth

+1

CALIFORNIA.

And even though in the real world money *is* an object, I'm still hell-bent on moving there someday

That dude is my HERO!!!

If my taxes are gonna pay for prisons I want guys like him to get me my MONEY'S WORTH DAMMIT!

Not knowing when to brake behind other trucks at the races Someone said I looked like a guided missile and it stuck

woooow...nice

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)

The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building Phone (202) 224 3254 Washington DC , 20510 Dear Senator Harkin, As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent, Donald Ruppert Burlington , IA