hope springs eternal...this site seeems to be more honest than others ..lottsa women havnt been around in months/yrs? but to me doesnt really matter..i have said that me on a dating site is like porcupine going to social but i like being able to say hi to women without worring if they are insulted about it just cuz i like thier smile or well whatever..what i like about min2 is there is nobody lying to me to get me to pay..lottsa sites like that..i will never rule out meeting someone but till that happens i have found i like this comm.and i like to practice being me-which is like different

well hope i dont offend.i spent 35 yrs wishing hoping and trying to figure out how to die w/o pain.i now find it kinda funny i was afraid of pain but put up with it.during a minor? medical mishap i encountered a thought i wish i could forget although i do not remember it concisely.while unconsious i experienced what seemed to be the afterworld,it was very upsetting.it was like knowing everything but having no ability to ignore it.being everthing and nothing,like restless body syndrome to the extreme.scared me mega.like many who responded i do not wish to suffer yet somehow i get the impression that many peole will put up with just about any/everthing to avoid learning the answer to what is it like after..i hope it is not what i fear -an endless rehashing of life,of knowing and being unable to change,,unrelenting eternity,i am not entirerly sure if i fear death or welcome it anymore. funny how views change i have consoled myself lately with the thought that all we are and know is somehow part of the universe-like as if we are RAM and the electrical energy surrounding the earth is the hard drive.this actually was the start of my deja-vu seris of writing-the thought that ideas hit us because just like flotsam in the water we run into it that memories can exist for eternity..bizarre thought perhaps but nothing new there. but to be honest yes i am afraid to die, i am afraid of suffering before i die, i am afraid i may live forever in some relentless knowledge of life..however it is no worse than being afraid of snakes or drowning or embarrassment as it can only be suffered when it happens.anyway hope yall dont suffer tks for being willing to talk about a nearly forbidden subject

i also like the glasses pic.you are nice looking.i think you did excellant job describing yourself and what you like to do lol i may actually take notes ha id wish you good luck but doubt you need it

he he he well if it were not for the country music bit id love ya blindly...mud trucks toys guns what more could a guy ask for??dont suppose you own a liquor store ehh?
anyway aside from the flat humour i employ you come across as honest
attractive happy with yourself and being a mommi must say something about your heart..wish you well

okay this will continue my tale of john and eddie.when last i wrote the narrator had just seen what he apparently did not wish to
cont from his anguished cry
noooooooooooooo
that is not fair she should not have gone alone today
i wish i had stayed home today.watch out people get out of my way i do not care much more today.the more i think of it the more i see i do actually wish to see someone today lets go see john and what he is doing today i wish to talk to john today i want to tell him what sue did todayi want to make sure he hears what i say go on get out of my way
extra extra read all about it double tragedy hits nicetown
extra extra read all about it
teleprompter clicks
hello welcome to the 10 oclock news im stan pruther
in the headlines today-in what seems to be the worst day nicetown has ever seen a bizarre double twist on trouble has occured in this sleepy little town.
first according to officer peter wright an altercation betweeen pro-lifers and pro-choice demonstrators turned deadly today with 11 dead and 7 injured.local catholic priest greg hart is reputed to be one of the deceased.other names are being withheld pending notification of family.in an unrelated incident a local man identified as having a severe learning disability has been charged with the savage beating of john stone a local football hero.john remains in critical condition at st matthews hospital.john stone sr is expected to hold a press conference tommorrow morning.he has informed our reporter he intends to press attempted murder charges and ask to have bail denied.mrs stone could not be reached for comment nor can john's girl friend sue adams.according to one of sues friends,who wishes to remain anonymous,has indicated sue had not returned her calls in the last 12 hours and has missed her hair appointment.reporter sid sly has this report
yes stan it is a bizarre day indeed.due to the weather local protestors apparently had chosen to use plywood placards after cardboard ones used initially disintegrated in the steady drizzle nicetown has endured for the last week.this choice turned deadly as at least 4 of the injured and 10 of the 11 deceased suffered fractured skulls.a local pro-choice clinic, the apparent cause of the deadly confrontation brewing here since opening,cannot be reached for comment.in addition a local man initially charged with aggravated assault is now facing far more serious charges as john stone, winner of 2 mvp awards for his amazing football prowess, has succumbed to his extensive injuries early this am.charged with 1st degree murder is 32 yr old abraham normal a local man who has been described as "the nicest man youd ever want to meet although perhaps not the swiftest".
yes sid we have been told he had some degree of mental retardation
well there had to be somethingwith him stan,kit fox,a bystander at the scene of this horrendous crime indicated the suspect drove into the back of the deceased's car without slowing down at all,jumped out of his car and drove his fist thru the window and bodily removed the victim from the car reportedly screaming all the while quote"you had better listen to me"unquote.he reportedly then began to start hitting him [john]as she described quote"over and over again.i could hear snapping sounds and then he [john]crupled to the ground"unquote.
apparently overcome by the senseless violence she was attended to by paramedics dispatched to the grisly scene and removed for extremly high blood pressure related issues.
have you heard anything regarding sue adams john's apparent girlfriend
no at this time she has not yet beeen located
has she been listed as missing
no officer peter wright attending the scene is aware of her unlikly absence but has indicated a mp status has not been deemed necessary at this time
do they suspect foul play sid
no stan until a mp has been issued police are treating it as coincidental
thank you....that was sid sly reporting for bs 11 ..on the national front..........
.
good evening this is stan pruther for bs 11 news
in the news tonite a local town reeling from the loss of several prominent buisness men and women and a local priest as well as a noted local sports hero,john stone jr, is now trying to cope with the loss of 18 yr old sue adams the fiancee of john stone aforementioned victim of a vicious attack by a man police are now questioning in regards to sue adams's death nby drowning.local reporter sid sly is on the scene
good evening sid
good evening stan,the plot thickens in this once sleepy town as a bizarre coincidence has local police concerned over the possible involvment of 32 yr old abraham normal in the drowning death of sue adams 18 fiancee and apparent mother to be according to an early report released late this afternoon.of paticular concern to the police is the presence of physical bruising on unspecified locations of ms adams body.due to the apparent severity of the bruises police are closly questioning the man responsible for the brutal beating death of john stone jr ms adams fiance.due to the relationship of the deceased police are suspecting a possible connection.
sid are there any reports ms adams was molested in any way
at this time the police are witholding what they consider is crucial information necessary to the case.
have any witnesses come forward yet sid
yes stan unconfirmed reports have placed abraham normal at a near location for an extended period prior to the established time of ms adams drowning.in a possible development police are speculating that ms adams may have been at the clinic also in the news today in regards to an early pregnancy.as reported earlier the pro-choice clinic reputed to perform abortions on site as well as post procedure care cannot be reached for comment.however unconfirmed reports indicate mr normal was parked in a lot across from the clinic at the time of the deadly confrontation ocuring earlier today at approximatly 8:30 am. according to police the only access across the river is a bridge 2 blocks from the clinic.speculation indicates mr normal may have spotted ms adams leaving the clinic and attemped to confront her.due to established time of death mr normal would have had just enough time to drive to the grisly murder of john stone jr ms adams fiancee.as well and this is unconfirmed stan it has been noted that ms adams had bruising on her wrists indicating a struggle while being forcibly detained.indications are it would have involved a considerable amount of force to cause such extreme bruising.this of coarse calls to mind the injuries sustained by john stone which led to his demise
so it appears sid this may be a related incident however minor to the tragedy occuring at the clinic aerlier
yes stan it is beginning to look that way

deja vu 2u2
spoken with whispered tenderness
hi good morning
hmm heh mmmm good mornin
you look fairly lost .whatcha thinkin
well i had a dream a long time ago and hmmm this is awkward well umm forgive me but you were not in my dreams back then-delivered with a very hesitant look
she kisses him sweetly thinking back happily,that was no dream
go on she kisses into his ear
his blush alarming her now she grows concerned
what is it please tell me
he cannot meet her eye and his hand -unknown to him,seeks the comfort of her breast
ah last nite..well..it was kind of umm like ..ahh the first time.. with
she interrupts eyes sparkling really? and suddenly feels the slow heat of shyness starting its way up her face..did..did you....like it ? she manages to nibble out and it is the perfect thing to say so close he reaches out for her and the conversation ends

there will be those among you who will find it very easy to believe this is a fantasy of mine..i am very happy to report that while i have quite a few issues this is not one of them..it is a creepy write though..but other than the last word i loved the ending..actually if we could somehow delete the last word from the world well ya good luck..RADAR LOVE
i sit here watching,waiting,knowing you will arrive
you will not notice me bland disinterest my disguise
youre not eating right whats wrong are you ill
you should not spend so much time at youre work
i worry about you remember the other night
you where up late couldnt sleep
out gazing at the moon
we where so close then
just you and i
both my heart and time stood still
dont worry you are safe
i have seen to that
that guy who was bothering you
wont be coming back
here you come you are late
why are you crying
dont you know i love you
when you see me you smile
over on 4th street-im the clown
you smile and laugh
and look at me with your happy smile
i worrry you wont know me if i discard my disguise
but i dearly wish to comfort you
why are you crying
what are you carrying
a picture heh thats the guy
whos stolen shoes i am wearing
heh what do you want
leave me alone
i have a right to be here
leave that alone thats mine
thats it f off and leave me alone
get youre f'ing hands off
heh!heh!
i want my lawyer
like i said its the last word that cuts the deepest

as ther are rules about content of disturbing nature the following should be read as an example of how i use writing to counter the numbing effects of depression.this is not a warning sign....lol just bad poetry
i keep thinking but nothing gets thru
i keep wondering how it is for you
i keep on letting my mind roll around
i keep wondering what its like underground
i wonder wha the sky would be like
i cant stop thinking that life really bites
i cant stop my mind from rolling around
oh god how i want to be underground
why do we repeat the mistakes that we make
why is it we try so hard to save face
what is it we think we gain if we win
why is it so many all want to pull the last pin
it hurts dear god to think we will face you
when we give up the ghost when we come back to you
why is it many people seem to dwell in this place
where freedom is death the end of the race
i want to scream to make all understand
before i am planted deep in the ground
why are we frightened of the dark the unknown
why cant we accept that we cant understand
so many minutes and hours,days and then years
eternity will fly by yet still life seemingly stands
death preoccupies us life is annoying
yet cling to it we must we dont understand
youth is so fleeting as adults we stand
petrified of that we dont understand
i want to enjoy life
i dont understand
why i spend my life living
already underground
please god if you could just give me a clue
what it was you meant me to do
.
like i said dont take it to heart..just rhyming whining

a smile breaks my face cracks
another link in the chain shattered
painful pleasure this i cannot resist
words stumble make no sense
face brightens cant back off
chit chat make a mess of it
driven by what i do not know
wouldnt give up a heartbeat of it
my shining star my warming sun
that smile far past priceless
ive heard the term follow your heart
but this approaches ridiculous
why cant i find the words i wish
like the ones i practiced last night
im out of time ohh alas
i have done failed yet again
try again tomorrow no doubt
but for now i leave with my coffee
and my pride still intact?

bitter pill
he knew as he sat he should not be there
she with her coffee he has a beer
furtive glances bald innuendos
no thought for tomorrow
now here bold new
exiting frightning partly revenge
to have for himself to take to possess
to return ruined to brag to blame
no honour no glory
just a flag to wave a notch
and he scores he thinks
lightly touching adjusting
she preens-too often ignored?
she blushes at his compliments
her eyes too full to see
the emptiness inside
meaningless poetry
is she lost does she know the way
with which dice does she gamble today
promises given forgotten
blame quickly arranged
take no prisoners
until you have lost
rewrite history to serve youre needs
invent filler for spaces
where logic leaves questions
who is at fault i ask
and silence descends
as fingers are pointing
at everyone else

what do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion
piece of a$$ so good makes your eyes water
.
what do you get when you cross the atlantic with the titanic
halfway
.

lot of people call me cheap..i just say im dutch..it runs in the family..like my grandda invented copper wire ehh..him and his dad were fighting over a penny

you look alittle like that famous person other than a little nicer

98.5% had to dock you a few points for honesty lol

i think yes ha ha please yes you are attractive i also find it admirable you have the confidence to ask.

well my first think was that i couldnt see you you where kinda faded in picture fuzzy i kinda think you look younger than 50 but could be my eyes they wear out you know

in at 51 now......ah what was i saying again.ha..lucked out big time and kept lean lost out and bust my back...its been so long since ive had fun ..oh no .i did act like a child yesterday ha ha i believe i will retirer when i run outta stuff to do\
\?attempt .i am lucky ive been able to experience hundreds of jobs,prettty sure i liked one of them memory is such a rascal sometimes..happy b.d.all

why yes actually but i must note my glasses arnt what they used to ha

excellant..thanks i am familiar with both water injection and propane enrichment on diesels..i am aware as i pointed out in earlier post it would be waste of my time to try to generate enuff hydro to run engine per norm..i am after trying to create enuff oxy-hydro in engine cylinder by electrostactic means to help turn remainder of water vapour to steam..as a point there is a man who states he does what i am trying i have said this is not my theory i am trying to understand the nature and known laws of hydrogen production including adjusting hertz rate and to get an idea of the latent power of oxy-hydro known previously as browns gas i do have a fair understanding of both science and the scientific method of research..just out of curiousity do you believe water will "explode" if an elec.arc is struck in it ie.expand into a gas .i find most people will say im full o fertilizer but seeing is believing so i know cuz ive done it -on a low energy level.i guess the only other thing i should point out is im not attempting to create perpet motion ...IF this crazy idea works i need to deal with the carbon produced..hydrogen "burnt" in absense of other substance creates vacumn..oxy-hydro "burnt" creates water vapour and c02..so ibelieve that while it does take more than a car battery to crack enough water a car battery can power a 120 volt inverter which in theory can be triggered by hei distributor..yes it sounds impossible but no one but crazy people like me think its worth pursuing ..no money in it? who knows i dont care..i either try it or put up with my mind wondering/wandering..i will attempt next time to address all the little changes i believe i will have to to make theory work...cam timing..spark timing-34 degrees after top dead center..elec plate in cyl..diodes..vapour reclamation....?carbon trapping? this one kills me i aint got even a tiny clue.actually i dont even know what branch of the sciences i should read up on -i find nothing helpful in any book on physics,chemistry,etc oh well my hour is up tks to all who have attempted to "educate" me LOL i have been called a idiot for 40 years now ..i should be an expert on dumb and dumber