Why don't you ask him how serious he is about it?

I would hope most people wouldn't get defensive off the bat when you try to communicate something with them in as emotionally neutral a way as possible. How are you supposed to form a healthy relationship if you can't communicate openly with each other about these kinds of issues?

"You're not sexually satisfying me" sounds a lot different from, for instance, "I have a really high libido and I'm feeling frustrated with the disparity. I would love to have more sex with you and see if we can work toward a happy medium for both of us. Any ideas?"

There is more to a relationship than just sex, but sex can be an important part of a relationship. It's up to each of us to realize what our sexual needs are, and to know how important it is to us to get those needs met. Telling someone they should look beyond their frustration with their sex life is basically saying that they should ignore their sexual needs, which seems unlikely to lead to a healthy, happy relationship.

Have an honest, non-accusatory talk with him, and make it clear to him that you view this as a real issue. See if you two can come to some sort of agreement that might work well for both of you. If not, then you need to decide whether you can live happily in a relationship where you're not sexually satisfied.

Except that it misses the point. Sometimes good people simply aren't compatible. Assuming that you're the best anyone could hope for and that nobody else would ever do as well for them seems delusional to me.

If this allegation had any validity to it, the McCain camp would be plastering these questions everywhere.

Also, "the internet" is not a single entity capable of censoring anything. The fact that this hasn't circulated more widely is due more to its lack of validity than anything else. But have fun playing conspiracy detective.

It sounds like she may just be busy, so personally, I suggest you ask her what's up. Let her know of your interest and see if it's something she shares, or might potentially share given more time to get to know each other.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that preference, as long as you're not an asshole about it. Most of us have our various preferences, and as long as you're not judging people who don't meet yours, then I don't see it as a problem.

So here's a relevant question:
Will you ever be able to trust her commitment to you even if you do take her back (assuming that she does come back)?

If he were willing to help fix the problem, sure. Someone's breath smelling that foul all the time is actually indicative of digestive issues and such, so it's more than a simple issue of preference.

I don't stop loving people who are worth loving. But that doesn't meant that I necessarily still want to be with an ex; generally, we broke up for a reason, and I can love someone without wanting to be with them romantically.

What do women want?

Well, most of us want not to be lumped in with every other woman ever, for starters. We're individuals and want different things. There IS NO "what all women want" because we're all different.

Really? I respond to wel thought-out initial messages, though I've gotten, um. . . none that I can think of on this site, actually. I've gotten some good ones on other dating sites, and send out the first message if I see someone I'm interested in getting to know. But it takes a well thought-out message attached to a well thought-out profile to get enough of my attention to merit a response.

No, it doesn't work, at least not on me. It doesn't show that you've actually read someone's profile or have any interest beyond the fact that she's, you know, female. I never respond to "Hi, how's it going?", "Let me know if you want to chat", or other versions of the "I'd like to talk with you" messages I get. They don't say anything. If someone's going to message me, it would be nice if they 1) showed some evidence of having read my profile, and 2) made some sort of attempt to start an actual conversation with some actual substance.

The best messages are those that reference someone's profile, and ask a question or two. This can be about something in the profile, or just a general question, but it gives your target mingler something to respond to.

Good luck!

This.

Also, the point of dating is to get to know the other person and see if you're compatible. If you put on a show and don't let her see who you really are, how is she supposed to know how much she likes you? All she knows of you is the act you're putting on.

It's not just about impressing someone; it's also about figuring out how much you like them as well.

I'm also a big fan of coffee meetups the first time you meet someone. It's not a date so it takes the pressure off nicely.

I'm going to do you the favor of assuming you're not a troll. First step in attracting someone: don't be a whiner. Seriously--it takes most of us some time to find someone compatible, and you're no exception. Suck it up.

First, put up some pictures. I imagine most of us skate right past profiles with no pics; I know I do. You really won't receive much in the way of responses until you do this.

Next: Put up a profile. No, a REAL profile. Put up some information about what you do, what's important to you, what you enjoy eating, what your hobbies are. If you don't have any actual hobbies outside of searching for a relationship, go get some and try again in a year. I see a lot of men on here with profiles telling me they're looking for X sort of relationship. That's nice and all, but I'm not going to go out with someone based solely on the fact that they might be looking for a similar type of relationship that I am, without knowing anything about who they are.

So, you've got a real profile with photos, and you've found a woman whose profile interests you. What now?

The opening message: This is important. Someone with a mediocre profile can hook me from this; someone with a good profile can turn any interest away by doing really badly at it. Here are some examples:

BAD: "I like your profile. Let me know if you'd like to talk."

Why it's bad: It says NOTHING about who you are, what you liked, etc. For all she knows, you didn't even read her profile and are spamming multitudes of women with the same lousy five-second message.

GOOD: "Your profile really peeked my interest. I'm especially wondering about your interest in under-water basket-weaving. How did you get started with that?"

Why it's good: It shows you've actually read her profile. Further, you've asked her a question, to which she will have a response should she care to correspond with you. Giving a good conversation starter is important. I ALWAYS ignore "let me know if you'd like to talk" messages. Why?--there's nothing to respond to. If you'd really like to get to know me, show some interest in what I've said and start an actual conversation. I'm sure some people will disagree, but I feel it's up to the person who intiates contact to start a conversation, and you're certainly not going to go wrong by going with that tactic.

BAD: "You're pretty."

Clearly you think so or you wouldn't contact her on a dating site.

ALSO BAD: "Hi cutie."

I'm sure some women disagree, but I get irked at the use of pet names before I know someone. Talk to me like a grownup.

GOOD: "You have really pretty eyes/a really pretty smile/the best teeth I've ever seen."

Much more specific (especially something like teeth; bet she doesn't hear that all the time, so you've just made yourself stand out). Just make sure you follow this up with someone more substantial. Also note that it's not necessary to complement her looks at all in an opening message; she knows you think she's cute or you wouldn't have bothered.

ALWAYS BAD: Any solicitation of sex in an opening e-mail, use of the term "sexy" in all but a very few circumstances, references to breasts, asking for threesomes or details of past sexual encounters, sending penis photos (or asking if she'd like to see some). It makes you a sleazy creep. Don't do it.

ALSO BAD: l33t speak. It's funny in certain contexts, but if u rite leik dis, I'm going to assume you have an IQ to match and/or no grasp of the English language.

So you've sent her a message. Now it's up to her. If she doesn't respond, you can safely assume she isn't interested. She's under no obligation to send you a message just because you sent her one; find it rude if you want to, but let it go and move on.

She sends you a message back indicating interest in friendship only: Don't argue with her. I've gotten this recently. I'm personally searching for someone in my little city or just outside; hour drives are too far as far as I'm concerned. Lots of men seem to disagree. That's fine, but telling me that my deal-breaker is prematurely ruling something out (isn't that the point of discovering deal-breakers early in the first place?) shows a disrespect of my stated wishes. If you can't hear what I'm saying now, how could you possibly in a relationship? Friendship could also mean she simply finds you unattractive but otherwise interesting. If you aren't interested in just friends, politely tell her so and move along; if you want to attempt friendship, then be respectful of her stated wishes and don't try to get in her pants unless she expresses interest.

She writes back and is gung-ho: Great! Be respectful; you can offer your number, but many of us like talking online first (hey, there are some creeps out there). You're pretty much on your own from here. Listen to what she says, meet in a public place first, etc. Be sane and sensible, and if something feels "off" about her, it probably is.

Dating and seducing are horrendously personal, so any advice would correspond to that particular woman and not to women in general since we are all, you know, actual live individual people with different preferences. Take it by feel and be attentive.

Have you considered seeing a therapist to help you get over your feelings for her? Maybe that sort of processing would be helpful for you. At any rate, good luck.

I'm generally ready around the third date. The soonest I've slept with someone after meeting them was on the second night we spent together (which turned into a 5-year relationship). I have no qualms about sleeping with someone on the first date in theory; it just takes me longer to adjust to a new partner.

As to a "respectable" amount of time, the entire premise there confuses me. Why shouldn't people have safe, protected, consensual sex as soon as they're both ready? I know plenty of people who will get busy on the first date, and I find that perfectly respectable. Why wouldn't it be?

I don't think that's necessarily true. I know some bisexuals who truly aren't happy without being able to express their sexuality in full, with both men and women (or a man and a woman). That's certainly not true of all bisexuals, but it definitely is of some.

As to the question: I'd be open to my partner exploring, as long as we set up some good boundaries and had open and honest communication about everything that was going on.

Is it wrong? Honestly, the two of you need to talk and figure out what boundaries you agree to. Dating sites have forums and can be used to make friends, so it doesn't necessarily indicate a desire to cheat. I tend to flirt some without intent when in relationships, and I like being with someone who doesn't feel threatened by that. In my view, if they don't trust me, that's a MUCH bigger issue than anything else.

If you get back together, you need to talk about what's okay and come up with some agreements so you know where you stand and where the boundaries are in your particular relationship. That's the only really relevant bit.