I think that the attraction needs to be there but it's not all that matters.

Yes. It kinda reminds me of buying a car that is a lemon. You put all this money and effort into a car. You suddenly realize that you are putting more into it than you are getting out of it. If you get rid of the car, you have to admit that you bought a lemon. Sometimes that's hard to do.... It was for me anyway. I didn't want to admit that I fell for someone that I KNEW wasn't available to me or anybody else.

I found someone who is there for me though. There are good ones out there. Sometimes where you least expect it. you just have to be willing to take another chance on it.

My current bf believes in courtship. He has spoken to me, even if only for a min, every day since our first phone conversation (nearly 6 months now). On our first date he brought flowers, took me to a very nice restaurant, then to a movie, and finally we walked around town talking for hours. It was the best date I have been on.

We were talking yesterday about how quickly time has went by

I am..... I'm pretty sure he is gay, at least everyone else thinks so too!

I started dating somone I worked with. It was pretty bad when we broke up.... both times ... but we are friends now. It has it's advantages, such as seeing each other daily, but if you disagree on how things should be done at work or work directly together it can be problematic.

I have worried and worked on myself over the codependency issues, being addicted to the drama. It is something that I watch myself carefully for that behavior now and try to pull out of situations where I catch myself playing the game too. It's not anybodys fault but mine if I keep putting myself and my son in these situations. Part of me knows that I need to cut myself off completely and live my life without that but it is very scary for me to do that. Probably part of it is the codependency and knowing what my role is with them vs figuring out what my role is in a life without the drama.

I didn't before my current relationship. I knew after the first date that I loved him and he told me that he loved me during the second. It was very scary but we knew almost immediately and have been together about 6 months now. We are taking things slowly partly because of how quickly our feelings developed. It's possible though.

Ah, I see what you meant. I'm trying. My best start is not allowing my son to visit them anymore. She usually does this sort of thing when he's there. Otherwise I just hang up the phone.

On a positive note my guy was a nurse in the psych ward for a long time. He does know how to deal with this kind of thing. He shouldn't have to though and I'm afraid he won't want to if I am unable to cut myself off from them. I have been upfront with him since the beginning though.

Yesss??? I think I may have missed the point.

I am thier child but I wasn't taken care of as a child should have been. I had the caretaker role. I don't want either role with them anymore and they resist my attempts to move on from that.

That's why I divorced my ex and moved away. I agree with that completely.

This is something I have considered and a big reason for why I moved 4 hours away. My son is close to her and my step-dad (both alcoholics) and I didn't do this before because of my grandmother. I love my Mom but sometimes I feel like it's best to just cut all ties. This will leave me totally alone which does scare me.

I can say was well that she doesn't respect my boundaries at all, especially when my son is there. I don't allow drinking around him or smoking because he is allergic to cig. smoke. She lies and says she isn't smoking in the house but she is and says she only had one drink but I know otherwise.

I don't have health insurance. My ex switches jobs every time they start taking out child support and I'm barely making enough to pay the bills. I can't afford the insurance or to straight out pay for the session. My son is on Peachcare, the cheap state insurance in GA, and he has been seeing a doctor for the last year and a half to deal with his issues from all of this. The best I can do is to try to make sure he doesn't have to go through what I did and that he has professional help to deal with what he has been though so far.

I went last year for about 2 months through a program sponsered by my job and my doctor said I was remarkably well adjusted considering everything I have been though. I just feel so totally stuck right now, like there is no way to escape my past and have a future with this guy that I love.

Need advise. My family is very disfunctional. My mother is a bipolar alcoholic who has started back drinking again apparently. Her behavior has changed back to being very manipulative and irratic since my grandmother died two months ago. My 11 year old son is currently at her home 4 hours away visiting for Christmas. I didn't realize that things had changed this much until last night. Although there have typicaly been problems during times when my son was visiting. I'm getting my son home ASAP so I'm not asking about that...

I'm in a pretty serious relationship right now. I moved away after my divorce to get away from the craziness of my family as much as to get away from my abusive exhusband. I'm still working though separating myself from my family and establishing healthy boundaries. I worry that the guy I'm with now and any other man on earth will not be able to deal with this stuff. He wouldn't allow this kind of stuff around his daughter and I don't blame him. It is part of my life though. I can't just completely cut myself off from them but I don't want to waste anymore of my life on their BS. I'm 32 years old now!

How do you find healthy boundaries with this kind of stuff and have a healthy relationship with someone you love?

Just Working... Started to message ya last night. Drama Drama Drama as always

You shouldn't be so irresistible! (Ladies, this guy is seriously awesome! Amazing sense of humor)

Nope. I delt with so many mental health issues with my close family members growing up that I think I would always worry that this persons problems would reoccur. It would never go anywhere between us so why waste his or my time.

I fell in love with a nerdy guy (according to him) who is very proud of it. I tell anyone who questions why I love him that it's wonderful to be treated so well, have interesting conversations, and that when he kisses me I get dizzy. The so called macho guys played games, had a few other girls on the side, and only wanted to fool around. He is amazing

Um.... Hell NO!!! His ass would be out the door so fast.