That was the Philippines and many years ago. For $5.00 now they'll remove your fly - the one that just landed on your head.

>Signs That You Are Insane

You need a sign? I am talking with you.

>You don't just talk to your plants....you hit on them (Hey there, let me see what's under those petals.)

Nah, I attack them with a knife - my eggplants.

>You have so many multiple personalities that when you >masterbate, it could be classified as an orgy.

I'm surprised at you misspelling such an important word - masturbate. Of course if you like to fish then you can just call it master baiter.

Don't watch sports.

After watching "An Inconvenient Truth" you believe that the world will actually care about global warming.

I voted for Al Gore. I'd do it again.

>The items in your fridge are: a jar of mayo, a bottle of mustard, and a human head.

No mayo, only my ex's head. I'm preserving it for the next shuttle to Mars.

>For breakfast you have Raisin Bran sprinkled with Lorazepam, Doxepin and Pimozide (for fun)

Raisin nut bread with smoked ham and Amish cheese.

>As a child, your parents locked you in the basement, slid Baby Ruth's under the door and the only words you could say were. "Yummy, Yummy."

They abandoned me, period.

Insects are delicious, chocolate covered ants. Worms and scorpions in Thailand. Grasshoppers elsewhere.

You know I have no name.

First, go to Lowes and buy a wheelbarrow.
You need it to carry the money which you will need.
Now, where are you going - Tokyo?
For a guy your age the hot place would be Harajuku, a stop or two from Shinjuku on the Yamanote Line. You might also check out Shibuya, just stand around in front of Hachiko, the dog statue on the west (?) side of the station and chicks will come up and ask to practice English with you. Or you could just stand around Shinjuku station - across from the Kinokuniya Book Store is a good place.

I only drink stuff with no sugar usually
so an Orange Crush can keep me down all afternoon.

you have cinnamon rolls?

Oneplusyou has some of the most terrible color combinations I have ever seen. As someone who worked in video and computers and even taught it to the professors at a big university I find this "transition" appalling. No doubt JustSayHi is popular not only because of its ease of use but also because it is so easy on the eyes. Typical of big corporations and buy outs fack something up because you own it not because you are making it better. No doubt the owners are in the under 40 club and have never heard the expression, "if it ain't broke don't fix it."

No Porsche but if my 57 Thunderbird isn't finished soon I will be too old to drive it.

I've always kept separate bank accounts.
That makes it hard to cheat.

Yeah, that's why I don't go to Walmart.
I'm not even sure the cashiers there are American.
Last time I was in one I asked them why the name wasn't ChinaMart!!!

I fogot to add
you might want to get to the "root" of the matter
then again, you might not.

Dude, if they're from Thailand
land of the sex change specialists
I'd be making a beeline for my car
unless you're into sister boys
aka lady boys, transsexuals
or freaks

the toilet paper rolls off from the top
not the bottom
got that, girls
rolls better that way

It's too bad you've made this men only because my ex wife didn't know any of this stuff. I grew up military and learned this stuff before I started school.

Me thinks they must have pierced your cerebral matter.

3rd time, that really sucks. george bush never went the first time, in fact he never even went to guard meetings - the coward. We feel your pain, my daughter's best friend, female, drives a Humvee, very dangerous job.

I don't know but before I die I'm going to become a Muslim, raise holy hell for a week, and receive my 79 virgins when I get to heaven.

I like my hearts shall we say, seasoned with age.

If you trim the excess fat you're only going to have a skinny rat left.

I expect people to have a picture posted.
But as a veteran myself I have that Marine Emblem up right now in honor of our guys and girls, Marines and others, fighting Bush's dirty oil war. It stays up until after Memorial Day. Please remember them.

Does that include Reese Cups?