Ultimately, I want love. If I happen to meet that person online rather than bump into him at the grocery store, so be it.

Give me flowers, not STDs!

single--and this last time it was my own fault

Thanks for the advice everyone.

Date #2 went better and was much less awkward. I feel a little more settled about things and am not quite as apprehensive. We're going to try date #3 tomorrow and it will be an activity as opposed to just dinner and a drink, so hopefully this will be a great opportunity to really get to know one another.

I know most people don't show their true colors right away, that's why I'm hesitant to call it off so quickly. However, I don't want to keep stringing him along if I'm not feeling like this could go anywhere.

Hence the problem.

If you're approaching me for the first time, the best way to break the ice is to make me feel comfortable. The best way to do that is to make me laugh.

And that's the part I hate...

See, I want someone I can stay up until 4:30 with at some all-night diner. I love doing that! The conversation my date and I had during the first date was really uncomfortable because we were both searching for a topic and we never really struck on one that worked for us both.

I'm a really shy person around new people, so it's hard to get me to open up sometimes, but he might just be really shy too, so I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to allow us time to get to know one another.

But then again, there just weren't any flying sparks that were bright enough to make me really look forward to seeing him again.

When and how should you tell someone that the chemistry isn't there?

A mutual friend set the two of us up on what was virtually a blind date and he's a nice guy, very good-looking. We had dinner and it was fine, but it didn't knock me off my feet. If I never saw or heard from him again, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even be disappointed. We're going out again tonight for a second date and I'm not really excited about it.

I don't know if this means I'm just nervous and psyching myself out or if it means that I'm really not all that interested.

How many dates should you have before you can reasonably say that there really isn't a spark between the two of you? If it's not working for me, I certainly don't want to lead him on, but I also don't want to panic and jump ship before I've even let myself get to know him.

If he's just going to dump you over because of possibly getting back with an ex, then he's not worth it. It sounds like he's not even willing to meet you as a friend, so he's definitly not worth it.

Ok. I met someone over the internet a long time ago and our whole 5-year relationship was based around chatting and phone calls and emails. I never met him in person although I really wanted to. I felt we had such a connection, and we did. But I think I was putting too much into the relationship because I was single and really just wanted to feel attractive and loved by someone and he was basically the one constant guy in my life.

I also think I became so emotionally involved because I never did have a chance to meet him and so we never discovered each other's faults and bad habits in person. It was almost like a relationship that couldn't go wrong, and that's why it felt so great. It was "safe" to care about him.

It's not sad that you feel so strongly about someone you've never met but feel such a connection toward, I think it would be sad if you did nothing about it and let an opportunity slip away.

Ooh! I like cruises! Where are we going?

I'll hold your hand, Brian.

Thanks, everyone.  I'm feeling a little better and more confidant about how I should act on here. 

AaronzDad, you were right, I was getting a lot of emails and it threw me a little bit. I hadn't expected such an enthusiastic welcome.  And I really loved your profile. You have a great sense of humor.

I met someone online several years ago and we kept up a long-distance friendship for about 5 years until he just up and disappeared. This was someone I chatted with on a near daily basis, traded phone calls with, and felt was someone really special.

Don't know what happened or why he stopped contacting me. I got an email several months later saying that he'd been really busy and that he would try to do better. And I haven't heard from him in about three years.

I know exactly how you feel. And it sucks. And, yes, I'm still a little bitter years later.

My point is that people will up and disappear on you for no good reason. It happens to all of us.

I'm new to the site and feeling my way around. Are there any written (or unwritten) rules I should follow when contacting or being contacted?

For example: If someone IMs me or sends me a message and I'm just not digging that person, is it generally good form to respond politely and say "No thanks/Not interested" or just ignore the contact?

Also, does anyone know if there is a way to be logged into your account without appearing "Online Now!" to everyone?

Thanks!