I'm new to the site and feeling my way around. Are there any written (or unwritten) rules I should follow when contacting or being contacted?

For example: If someone IMs me or sends me a message and I'm just not digging that person, is it generally good form to respond politely and say "No thanks/Not interested" or just ignore the contact?

Also, does anyone know if there is a way to be logged into your account without appearing "Online Now!" to everyone?

Thanks!

Yes, rule number 1. Only talk to me.



Gosh I love redheads

Honesty is always the best policy

common decency works for me...

Hi and welcome to JSH!

Hello and welcome.

Well RH you're an attractive young lady so you're going to get a LOT of emails on any dating site. Yes it's polite to respond with a "Thanks but we're not a match. Best wishes to you." email. But that is only for the guys who have read your profile and match what you're looking for.

- Oh, be specific about what you're looking for in your profile. Age, religion, race, distance from you, smoker, whatever.

If a guy hasn't bothered to read your profile or taken the time to write a thoughtful letter ("I rely lik ur porfile, rite me" is not a thoughtful letter) then you shouldn't bother taking the time to be thoughtful in return.

Please do NOT respond to the perverts and jerks and freaks who will write to you. That's just encouraging them. Click on the "BLOCK" button under their letter and delete it. Hopefully they'll get the idea if enough women do the same thing and they'll get out of the way of the decent guys.

But I'm not holding my breath for that.

IM requests are a different animal. Some people respond to all of them, some never respond to any, and most of us have our own "rules" of handling them. If it's from someone you've never corresponded with I'd suggest denying the request. Begin at the beginning ya know? Write an email first then maybe chat later. You'll figure out what works for you.

It's all up to you what you do with anything here or on any other dating site. Just go with what you're comfortable with.

And good luck here!

Thanks, everyone.  I'm feeling a little better and more confidant about how I should act on here. 

AaronzDad, you were right, I was getting a lot of emails and it threw me a little bit. I hadn't expected such an enthusiastic welcome.  And I really loved your profile. You have a great sense of humor.