I like my "little ones"...

Natural, God-given is the best in any case.
A woman has to first like herself, and everybody else will like her, so no change is necessary...

I seem to have a different problem: I meet and have to deal only with (in my opinin) "too romantic and sweet" men, so much so that i get the feeling that that's all that matters to them and that they cannot be realistic with me. I don't know what is the reason, maybe i have the power to inspire them or i subconsciously attract such men, or am just so hard to get... i'm actually very down to earth person, and would like to have a really realistic relationship (realistic in the meaning of full contact with all the reality of life and relationship). I like some romance and playfulness, but it should be just a spice for me not the essence or the means of escaping reality. I think i even developed an issue about "too sweet and romantic" guys, I don't quite trust them any more..., well...

So, don't worry, there actually are some very romantic guys outside, though maybe rare, and i wish you all to meet them if you really want. All in all, it is really great to have such a guy in life... (that is, if it doesn't become a bit "too much")....

I'm willing to meet people from this site after getting to know them a bit through mailing etc. However, i think i have a bit of a problem when there is a really big distance between us. i would probably try to meet someone from Europe (as I am from Europe), anyone from a different continent would probably have to come to Europe for the first date... (although i still like to think that "true love" knows no obsticles)

When i had a profile on a national dating site i actually met quite a few people -- they were all interesting, some in positive, some in a bit funny way... I'm only willing to meet people with whom we have developed some positive knowledge, communication and interest through mails, chat, phone, but it is true, as someone before said, no matter how good feeling and communication is, meeting in person gives you that ultimate feeling of what is possible or not...

"Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."

Anthem - Leonard Cohen

Why not with a tour company? (just curious, i'm not planning to go)

Exactly.
These words are often abused these days, and so they lost much of their meaning. In trully loving, caring and dedicated relationships they are often unnecessary, although we have to be able to say them, and actually say them sometimes....

That's why i ended all contacts after some time. He was even using me to give him advice and support regarding his other failed relationships. I just couldn't do it and i realized that i really didn't need that (although it was hard as we had had a 10-year-long relationship, and i thought he was the "love of my life"). i don't think all relationships can or should end as friendships. Sometimes "going cold turkey" is the best solution, specially in destructive and co-dependant relationships....

a good question. i think they are trying to give a signal what woman they phantasize about...

But you have two....in the pic. Don't be greedy

I know i'm a bit late with this answer, but i wasn't really checking...

I really don't know how and why you came to such meaning of my post. I simply answered the op's initial question "what is number one reason for people getting dumped". Of course, it's my opinion, but i tried to name rather general reasons from both positions (being dumped or doing the dumping, since the op. didn't say what she meant). I certainly didn't have in mind that a realtionship would work if one would change for the other or if one would try to change the other -- this is exactly what doesn't work, ever! But it often happens, even if very subtly and unconsciously (and sometimes more consciously, of course) often from the fear of loosing the other or from being controlling, or having high demands or some other reasons). Sometimes nothing can be done, and it's best to split (dump?) in such cases, but where there is true love and readines to work on it, it must be communicated. But even the communication can work out only if one or both of them stop lying (=not telling and living all the truth) to themselves and to each other, are in full contact with reality and are radically truthful (not trying to avoid the negative aspects of the relationship nor the pain brought about by the truth). In my belief there is no relationship without such conflict, because no matter how two people match they will always be two worlds. If it was trully Love that brought them together (not just attraction or some other interest), if they are ready to be honest, open and communicative, and if they know that relationships are essentially about GROWING (and growing is "changing", it is growing out of fears, ego, possessivness etc...and that's what i meant by "adjusting" and "transcending"!)than i honestly think they can make it. There are really many IF's and that's why relationships are so difficult...

Anyway, that's what i really ment in my innitial post, and i'm sorry if i cannot say things in simpler words...

To the op.: I seriously doubt that you get dumped just because of the looks, although it may be true that you attract such men if you have this strong belief that "looks is everything", as you say. Most women (at least those who seek a bit more than just a skin-deep relationship) would be glad (in the hindsight if not sooner) to have got rid of such a looser....

If you marry her because she and your relatives want you to marry her than you will maybe make HER and THEM happy, but you probably won't make YOURSELF happy (if you have differnet feelings, wishes and expectations right now)..... unless making others happy makes you happy, too...so....it's really your decision...
(I certainly would have doubts if someone tried to get me into marriage by threatening and emotional blackmail, and i would never care about other people's opinion...but that's just me... ).

I would advice some waiting for both of you, after all you are both still young, and you'll see what time brings, it may certainly bring a change of feeling, wish, or situation on either side or both....

Couldn't agree more.

Money could never buy me, but faithful heart could....

Most people whose profiles say they have been here less than a month ago, are active, but not all of them are active in the forums...

I cant name just one reson, so i'll name three.. , but they are, in fact, very intertwined:

* lying, deceiving,not being able to be what they really are (for
various reasons: fear, high demands, underlying agenda etc.)
* not communicating properly about positive and negative aspects of the
relationship
* not being able to deal with the differences (communicating,
adjusting, accepting, transcending them)

You have to think and decide if this is important to you, and than wait for the right girl who will have similar values, even though some patience will be necessary... There are such girls (actally greater in number than guys), but if you have already decided that there aren't, you will attract what you believe...But let me tell you: staying pure (non-promiscuous) while single makes this world purer, too, as our actions affect everybody and everything, though i know not many people are aware of this...

I don't think this is true, at least not in all cases, probably depending also on the age and maturity of a woman...

In fact, to my experience some full-time dads are not really able or ready to make space for a new woman (her true and equal involment with "his" family/children) though they are interested in her -- maybe because they are so proud to be so capable etc., i don't know...just my experience....

But generally, having similar life experience, occupation and lifestyle is always a better glue between a couple, don't you think?

Hi and welcome.

Lesson: getting emotional on mingle scares ladies off...

Seriously: i think, it does scare or put people off if you get too emotional in just internet interaction, before you really get to know a person, her emotions also... because it is just too unrealistic....

If i am in a stealth mode, do such activities as Matching, Nudging etc. work? i did some Matching in the stealth mode (because i forgot that i had activated it) and now i don't know if my matches got the notification about it or not?

Good, i like it.... Is there such a list about women (or maybe we should write one)? It would greatly contribute to mutual understanding of the sexes, i think....