1 Minnesota: Closed for glacier repairs

2 Land of many cultures.......mostly throat

3 MN......come, fall in love with a loon-ey

4 I came....I froze....I transferred!

5 Save a Minnesotan......eat a mosquito!

6 One day it's warm, the rest of the year, it's cold!

7 Minnesota-----home of blond hair and bue ears

8 Where the elite meet the sleet

7 Minnesota-----home of blond hair and blue ears.

9 MN----Have you junp started your kid today?

10 Many are cold but few are frozen

11 You are entering Minnesota: USE ALTERNATE ROUTE !

12 Minnesota: Theatre of Sneezes

13 Land of 10,000 Petersons,Andersons,Johnsons,Nelsons....

14 Survive Minnesota and the rest of the world is easy!

15 In Minnesota, ducks don't fly south....people do!

16 Minnesota: Glove it or leave it!

17 Land of 2 seasons: Winter is coming, Winter is here.

18 Minnesota.....10,000 lakes,-----and NO SHARKS!

19 Jack Frost likes Minnesota----he spends half his life here!

20 Minnesota----Mosquito supplier to the free world.

21 Minn......where visitors turn blue with envy.

22 There are only 2 things you can grow in Mn-older and colder

23 If you love Mn---raise your right ski!

24 Minnesota---home of the Missi....Mispi...Misppis...where
the river starts!

Everything in life has rules.

The following rules apply to effectively managing relationships.

Those who live by the rules, shall profit,

Those who don't....shall perish.


1. The female always makes the rules!
2. Rules are subject to change at any time without prior
notification to the male.
3. NO male is allowed to know the rules!
4. If the female ever suspects that the male knows some or
all of the rules, she MUST change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is NEVER wrong!
6. If the female ever appears to be wrong,it is due to a
misunderstanding caused by something the male said or did
which was wrong!
7. The female may change her mind AT ANY TIME!
8. The male may NEVER change his mind without the express
written consent from the female.
9. The female has the right to become angry or emotionally
upset at any time.
10. IF rules #6 or #9 apply, the male MUST APOLOGIZE!
11. If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void at
her discretion-----See rules 1,2,5, and 7.

Here is a wound that will never heal; I know.
Being wrought, not of a dearness, or a death,
but of a love turned to ashes
and the breath gone out of beauty;
never again will grow
the grass on that scarred acre,
though I sow young seed there yearly,
and the sky bequeath its friendly weathers down,
far underneath shall be such bitterness of an old woe.

That April should be shattered by a gust,
that August should be leveled by a rain,
I can endure;
and that the lifted dust of man
should settle to the earth again;
But that a dream can die;
will be a thrust between my ribs forever,
of hot pain.
(Edna St. Vincent Millay)

Life has loveliness to sell,
all beautiful and splendid things,
blue waves whitened on a cliff,
soaring fire that sways and sings
and chidren's faces looking up
holding wonder like a cup.

Life has loveliness to sell,
music like a curve of gold.
scent of pine trees in the rain,
eyes that love you, arms that hold,
and for your spirits delight,
holy thoughts that star the night.

Spend all you have for loveliness,
buy it and never count the cost;
for one white singing hour of peace,
count many a year of strife well lost,
and for a breath of ecstacy,
give all you have been, or could be.

(Sara Teasdale)

When I am dead and over me bright April
shakes out her rain-drenched hair,
though you should lean above me broken-hearted,
I shall not care.

I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful
when rain bends down the bough;
And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted
than you are now.

(Sara Teasdale)

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your acheivements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are borne of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
(by Max Ehrmann)

An engineer dies and reports to Hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell is equipped with air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer:" So, how's it going down there in Hell?"

Satan replies;"Hey, things are going great! We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next!"

God replies, "What!!...You've got an engineer? Thats a mistake--he should never have gotten down there! Send him up here."

Satan responds,"No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue!"

Satan laughs uproariously and replies, "Yeah, right....and just where are you going to find a lawyer?"
(Power Engineering)

Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners?
So men can understand them.

What is the difference between Government Bonds and men?
Government Bonds mature.

What's a mans' idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacumn.

Whats the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than women?
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

What did God say after He created man?
"I can do better than this."

How do men define a "50-50" relationship?
We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

whats the best way force a man to do situps?
Put the remote control between his toes.

How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

What does a man consider to be a 7-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

How are men like noodles?
They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Why is it good tthat there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

I thought maybe you'd like that one....

DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON!
Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....neither works.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.....your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around!

If you find yurself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin'

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco

Good judgement comes from experience....and a lot of that comes from bad judgement

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was!

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in yer pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up!

LOL.....for sure!

fun......and everyone true!

LOL.....just bored today

Alaska---It is illegal to push a live moose out of a moving plane Connecticut---You can be stopped by the police for biking faster than 65 mph. And, you are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands Florida---unmarried women are prohibited from parachuting on Sunday. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee must be paid as it would for a vehicle In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit ILLINOIS---It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs,cats,or any other domesticated animal kept as pets INDIANA---Bathing is prohibited during the winter. Citizens are not allowed to attend a movie house or theater nor ride in a public streetcar within 4 hrs of eating garlic IOWA---kisses may last for as longas, but no more than, 5 minutes KENTUCKY---by law, anyone who has been drinking, is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground" MASSACHUSETTS---Mourners at a wake may not eat more than 3 sandwiches TENNESSEE---It is illegal to lasso a catfish VANCOUVER---a city law requires all motor vehicles to carry anchors as emergency brakes

ARTERY.....the study of paintings BARIUM...what doctors do when patients die BOWEL...a letter like a,e,i,o,u, CEASAREAN SECTION....a neighborhood in Rome CAT SCAN....searching for a kitty CAUTERIZE....made eye contact with her COLIC...a sheep dog DILATE....to live long ENEMA....not a friend FESTER....quicker IMPOTENT....distinguished, well known MORBID....a higher offer NITRATES...cheaper than day rates NODE...was aware of PAPSMEAR....a fatherhood test PELVIS...a cousin to Elvis RECOVERYROOM....place to do upholstery RECTUM....dang near killed 'em TUMOR....more than one URINE....opposite of you're out VARICOSE....nearby

This frog was really down on his luck. All he had left in the world was a little ceramic figurine that his mother had willed him when she "croaked". So he decided he'd go to the bank and get a loan so that he could improve his lot in life. The receptionist directed him to the loan officer....Mr Paddywack, who said, "We don't usually loan money to frogs. Do you have any collateral?" To which the frog showed him his figurine. "Well," replied Mr Paddywack, rolling his eyes, "I'll have to ask the manager." He went off, found the bank manager, explained the situation and showed him the figurine, exclaiming, "For God's sake,have you ever heard of anything so DUMB?" To which the bank manager scowled at him and admonished, "For God's sake, it's a knicknack, Paddywack,.....give the frog a loan!"

Saddam Hussein was in his tent in the desert, surrounded by thousands of Iraqi troops, when on a hill close by, one lone American soldier stood and shouted,"Come on, you cowardly bastards! I'll take you all on, you worthless pieces of crap!" Saddam called his generals and told them to send 3 of his finest soldiers up the hill and kill him. 5 minutes later, the American soldier was back up on the hill, repeating the challenge, "Come on you worthless......". Saddam called his generals again and instructed them to send 10 more up there and kill that SOB! 5minutes later, same thing again American soldier repeats his challenge. Now pissed off, Saddam sends 100 troops up the hill. 5 minutes later, the American soldier is back.... Suddenly, one of the Iraqi soldiers stumbling down the hill, bloodied, and shouts, "Watch out! It's a trap! There's 2 of them!"