DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON!
Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
There's two theories to arguin' with a woman....neither works.
Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.....your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around!

If you find yurself in a hole, the first thing to do is to stop diggin'

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco

Good judgement comes from experience....and a lot of that comes from bad judgement

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was!

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in yer pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up!

there are more ways to skin a cat than to put its head in a boot jack and yank on its tail...