My friends and I went to the drive through at McDonald's and tried to order several McBeatwifes with a large McDouche.

They weren't impressed.

Personally, I thought it was hilarious.

Agreed.

I've only done that with one woman and she knew about it before we hopped in the sack. It was our prescrew agreement. I didn't want a relationship, and her boyfriend was a really, REALLY bad lover.

Worked out pretty well for both parties. Well, maybe not the boyfriend, but he can go to hell for all I care.

In the words of my friend Glen:

"The answer to every situation is simple if you want positive results: Fill it full of booze.

Dog keeps crapping on the carpet - Fill it full of booze.

Girl is nagging - Fill it full of booze.

Your blender is half full of margarita mix - Fill it full of booze."

In all seriousness, though... You'll know when it's your time to get back out there. Sound's cliche, I know. But I am talking from experience.

By the gods....

I find it quite bothersome.

Not a clue what you are getting at here....

As long as I can take the bastard with me, I'd die with a smile on my face.

I have never and will never forgive cheating. I could never touch her again knowing someone else had been there. She would be nothing more than filth in my eyes forever. It's brutal, but I expect the same attitude from her if I would ever cheat. Which has NEVER in my life even been an issue.

I don't forgive and I never forget.

I would gladly lay down my life for the woman I love.

Let's get a new spin on things, shall we? A little bit of mix and match... Maybe everyone will be happy.....?

Christians say that god created man in its image right?

Ok then.

Science states that man evolved from, well, monkeys.

Does that mean waaaay back god looked like a monkey??

I find that idea very plausable.

Everyone satisfied now?

How can I seek something that can't be seen? Something that not even the most devout christian can not even prove its existance beyond a shadow of a doubt?

As Abra said: Blind Faith all the way!!

That's just it!

Let the brimstone begin!

Here is how I see things:

You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

"I cannot imagine a god who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a god, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty."

- Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate (1879-1955)

Agreed.

"...parades speculation and incomplete data.." sounds a lot like having faith in something with absolutely no proof it exists... Sorry dude, but at least the scientists have proof that can actually be tested and touched.

I believe they are just lashing out because they have no proof. I mean, if the cross from the crucifixion was found, or maybe the bones of a few diciples, the holy grail, the blade of infinity, or maybe even the arc of the covenant... But they have nothing while the scientists of today have hard proof of their discoveries and it torches the christian's a$$es.