ok you win i cant think of one smart a$$ come back for that one

You get to ask me 3 questions. (TO MY INBOX) Any 3 questions, anything, no matter how crazy they are, and I promise to answer them....I promise to answer them honestly.No catch.But I dare you to repost this and see what people ask you!!

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering,the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing$1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collectedand saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope onthe plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome bycuriosity, approached her.'Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week inthe collection plate,' he stated.'Why yes,' she replied, 'every week my son sends me money,and I give some of it to the church.
The pastor replied, 'That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are yousure you can afford this? How much does he send you?'The elderly woman answered, '$10,000 a week.'The pastor was amazed. 'Your son is very successful; what doeshe do for a living?''He is a veterinarian,' she answered.'That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made thatmuch money,' the pastor said. 'Where does he practice?'The woman answered proudly, 'In Nevada. He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.'

they forgot to throw brittny in there...lol

Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex .* This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex .* This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex .* This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex .* This is when you have been with your partnerfor too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you." The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex .* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.(Very Popular) The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.* This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. And Last, but not least -The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine-year-old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister? Who are they for?" The nine year old says, "They're for my four year old little brother."The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?"The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"

Jane was a first time contestant on the $65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favor, as Jane had a gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but, unfortunately, time had run out before the show's host could ask her the big question. Jane agreed to return the following day. Jane was nervous as her husband drove them home. "I've just gotta win tomorrow. I wish I knew what the answer might be! You know I'm not going to sleep at all tonight. I will probably look like garbage tomorrow.""Relax honey," her husband, Roger, reassured her, "It will all be OK."Ten minutes after they arrived home, Roger grabbed the car keys and started heading out the door. "Where are you going?" Jane asked. "I have a little errand to run. I should be back soon." After an agonizing three hour absence, Roger returned, sporting a very wide and wicked grin. "Honey, I managed to get tomorrow's question and answer!""What is it?" she cried excitedly."OK. The question is: What are the three main parts of the male anatomy? And the answer is: The head, the heart, and the penis." The couple went to sleep with Jane, now feeling at ease, plummeting into a deep slumber. At 3:30 a.m., however, Jane was shaken awake by Roger, who was asking her the quiz show question. "The head, the heart, and the penis," Jane replied groggily before returning to sleep. And Roger asked her again in the morning, this time as Jane was brushing her teeth. Once again, Jane replied correctly. So it was that Jane was once again on the set of the quiz show. Even though she knew the question and answer, she could feel butterflies in her stomach. The cameras began running and the host, after reminding the audience of the previous days' events, faced Jane and asked the big question: "Jane, for $65,000, what are the main parts of the male anatomy? You have 10 seconds.""Hmm, uhm, the head?" she said nervously. "Very good. Six seconds.""Eh, uh, the heart?" "Very good! Four seconds." "I, uhh, ooooooohh, darn! My husband drilled it into me last night and I had it on the tip of my tongue this morning...""That's close enough!" said the game show host, "CONGRATULATIONS--YOU WIN!!"

hey deluxe curriosity is killing me and you didnt ancer me before...so please do tell ..are those actual piercings ...the spikes on your head?

are those spikes on your head actually piercings? reguardless thats tight!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned,
asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed? "Breast-fed,"she replied. "Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while
in a very professional and detailed examination. Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk." "I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, "We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month." The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed."You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired."We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month." the young man replied sadly.The pastor asked him what happened." Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.""The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.""However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible...anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.""One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat." admitted the man, shamefacedly.The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.""We know." said the young man, hanging his head,"We're not welcome at Home Depot either."