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Community > Posts By > belledimanche
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Topic:
Partner History..
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I find the idea that the number of sexual partners you have had says something about your character very offensive. Stay on the planet long enough and have enough relationships go bad and you are going to rack up a decent number of partners. So what? And then you add in college/high school years, former drinking problems, and the fact that many women and some men sometimes have a period of promiscuity after a breakup, well, the numbers mean you are human, that's all. I would hate to be judged on that and to be told it says something about my character. Wow! I love reading your stuff! 
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Topic:
Partner History..
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I think it is relevant. It is something I try to discover about my potential life partners as soon as I am able.... Deviant?  Perhaps. But quite the norm for some of us.
Relevant? Yes, but as I previously maintained, timing is essential. If you expect a man to show up on a first date with a portfolio detailing his medical history, names and phone numbers of all previous sexual encounters, including a synopsis of what the sex life included and excluded, and a recent STD test readout, then you stand a better chance of Lancelot D'Aquatiane showing up at your door astride a white Percheron, shield and lance in hand.
 I agree. But I know where to find the Ones that are comfortable with this talk, right off the bat.
Best bet is to meet them in a forum and talk about it here. Maybe? |
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Topic:
Partner History..
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Now if you've ever killed someone...THAT is something I want to know! 
And if you have, under what circumstances, because that makes a huge difference.
Funny man
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Topic:
Partner History..
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Everybody starts afresh when they start dating somebody. We would like to believe this, but truth is, we are all a product of our past experience and cannot deny it, even in hoping to start with a blank slate. Even with the best of intentions. Inside, our cores are what they are. I feel it is best to be honest; not to delude yourself or others into thinking you are who you are not - or that you are capable of what you may not be, based on every past experience of your life. In denying self-awareness and personal accountability, you are only setting yourself and your partner up for pain and heartache later. Yes, people can change in some ways, but usually only if they are wanting that change for themselves, not another. AND, if there are no other "stumbling blocks" in the way, no matter what that might be. I agree to an extent with what you are saying, but this whole thing of dragging it out into the open by means of a conversation is probably a bit OTT in the beginning. To be honest, if you have got to start talking about sex in the very beginning, that usually means that there is limited communication going on. That also shows that you/he/she is after one thing and one thing only. So in theory there is no need to even ask the question, because you know the answer. I just see what I see and trust my own judgment and if I am wrong, well, I quite like being surprised sometimes. Well, not in all cases. Some folk are very sexually driven and sexual compatibility can be a very big part of the choice they make in a long term life partner. Maybe not so for most vanillas, but to some other groups, yes. I think talking about it is healthy and shows maturity. I'm not talking about sexual innuendo. I'm talking about basic compatibility. I feel communication should be open and thorough about every area of compatability, not just sexuality. I suppose you are right if you are talking about certain sexual behaviour.... and how compatable you are in that respect.. but I think you are deviating into something that isn't wholey what the guy (who started this thread) was going on about. Asking how many sexual partners you have had, well, from what I have seen and heard... well, it is just one of those daft conversations and most people lie anyway... mature? Hardley I think it is relevant. It is something I try to discover about my potential life partners as soon as I am able.... Deviant? Perhaps. But quite the norm for some of us.
Now if you've ever killed someone...THAT is something I want to know!
Yeah, so who did you kill? Was it your boyfriend? I have no boyfriend and reluctantly I must confess...my ex husband is still alive. |
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Topic:
Partner History..
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Everybody starts afresh when they start dating somebody. We would like to believe this, but truth is, we are all a product of our past experience and cannot deny it, even in hoping to start with a blank slate. Even with the best of intentions. Inside, our cores are what they are. I feel it is best to be honest; not to delude yourself or others into thinking you are who you are not - or that you are capable of what you may not be, based on every past experience of your life. In denying self-awareness and personal accountability, you are only setting yourself and your partner up for pain and heartache later. Yes, people can change in some ways, but usually only if they are wanting that change for themselves, not another. AND, if there are no other "stumbling blocks" in the way, no matter what that might be. I agree to an extent with what you are saying, but this whole thing of dragging it out into the open by means of a conversation is probably a bit OTT in the beginning. To be honest, if you have got to start talking about sex in the very beginning, that usually means that there is limited communication going on. That also shows that you/he/she is after one thing and one thing only. So in theory there is no need to even ask the question, because you know the answer. I just see what I see and trust my own judgment and if I am wrong, well, I quite like being surprised sometimes. Well, not in all cases. Some folk are very sexually driven and sexual compatibility can be a very big part of the choice they make in a long term life partner. Maybe not so for most vanillas, but to some other groups, yes. I think talking about it is healthy and shows maturity. I'm not talking about sexual innuendo. I'm talking about basic compatibility. I feel communication should be open and thorough about every area of compatability, not just sexuality. I suppose you are right if you are talking about certain sexual behaviour.... and how compatable you are in that respect.. but I think you are deviating into something that isn't wholey what the guy (who started this thread) was going on about. Asking how many sexual partners you have had, well, from what I have seen and heard... well, it is just one of those daft conversations and most people lie anyway... mature? Hardley I think it is relevant. It is something I try to discover about my potential life partners as soon as I am able.... Deviant? Perhaps. But quite the norm for some of us.
Everyone is different in their own way. I hold no opinion of anyone that may inquire or desire to know. I am personally not one to date those thaqt may... I am the type that doesnt share much about my history or deep personal feelings. Takes a LONG time to get that out...Not that I have anything to hide, just dont like sharing
Natural defense mechanism of a man. Recent literature has explained this in great lengths. Women need to talk and be cherished. Men just need to be respected and admired...talking is not so important to them. |
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Topic:
Partner History..
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A woman I was dating about a year ago just volunteered it once. Just in general conversation, she blurted out..I have only been with 3 men my entire life.... I was like OK?...I did not see why she offered that information, then there was the pause where she expected me to reply with mine and I didnt..... We stopped seeing each other about two weeks later.... Her loss No prob
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Topic:
Partner History..
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Everybody starts afresh when they start dating somebody. We would like to believe this, but truth is, we are all a product of our past experience and cannot deny it, even in hoping to start with a blank slate. Even with the best of intentions. Inside, our cores are what they are. I feel it is best to be honest; not to delude yourself or others into thinking you are who you are not - or that you are capable of what you may not be, based on every past experience of your life. In denying self-awareness and personal accountability, you are only setting yourself and your partner up for pain and heartache later. Yes, people can change in some ways, but usually only if they are wanting that change for themselves, not another. AND, if there are no other "stumbling blocks" in the way, no matter what that might be. I agree to an extent with what you are saying, but this whole thing of dragging it out into the open by means of a conversation is probably a bit OTT in the beginning. To be honest, if you have got to start talking about sex in the very beginning, that usually means that there is limited communication going on. That also shows that you/he/she is after one thing and one thing only. So in theory there is no need to even ask the question, because you know the answer. I just see what I see and trust my own judgment and if I am wrong, well, I quite like being surprised sometimes. Well, not in all cases. Some folk are very sexually driven and sexual compatibility can be a very big part of the choice they make in a long term life partner. Maybe not so for most vanillas, but to some other groups, yes. I think talking about it is healthy and shows maturity. I'm not talking about sexual innuendo. I'm talking about basic compatibility. I feel communication should be open and thorough about every area of compatability, not just sexuality. I suppose you are right if you are talking about certain sexual behaviour.... and how compatable you are in that respect.. but I think you are deviating into something that isn't wholey what the guy (who started this thread) was going on about. Asking how many sexual partners you have had, well, from what I have seen and heard... well, it is just one of those daft conversations and most people lie anyway... mature? Hardley I think it is relevant. It is something I try to discover about my potential life partners as soon as I am able.... Deviant? Perhaps. But quite the norm for some of us.
Now if you've ever killed someone...THAT is something I want to know!
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Topic:
Partner History..
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I think asking about health history is one thing, but how many partners is irrelevant. Men seem to respond that this as an invasion of privacy while women here have said they want to know. Personally I just think women are nosy and like to put salt in the wound sometimes. Put salt in the wound? What do you mean by that? Women ask.."What was her name? How did you do this or that? Why did you choose her?" Then, they start to compare. A total waste of energy! I'm sorry but I still don't understand the relationship between your comment and putting salt in a wound. Putting salt into a wound is a deliberate act meant to increase the amount of pain being felt by an individual. Asking (at the appropriate time) someone about how many previous encounters they have had in the past shouldn't be painful, should it? Maybe it's just me or maybe it's a guy thing. I'm not sure (not enough coffee, maybe? )
Let's just agree to disagree, but I think this is a touchy subject and many people will either get offended or hurt, but they still seek answers. |
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Topic:
Partner History..
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A woman I was dating about a year ago just volunteered it once. Just in general conversation, she blurted out..I have only been with 3 men my entire life.... I was like OK?...I did not see why she offered that information, then there was the pause where she expected me to reply with mine and I didnt..... We stopped seeing each other about two weeks later.... Her loss |
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Topic:
Partner History..
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I think asking about health history is one thing, but how many partners is irrelevant. Men seem to respond that this as an invasion of privacy while women here have said they want to know. Personally I just think women are nosy and like to put salt in the wound sometimes. Put salt in the wound? What do you mean by that? Women ask.."What was her name? How did you do this or that? Why did you choose her?" Then, they start to compare. A total waste of energy! |
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Topic:
Whats wrong with me?
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You can't look to someone else for happiness. I just figured that out. I kept having horrible dates and I didn't know why I kept putting myself thru it all. I thought finding love would "heal" me. A light came on and I started to do the things I love again like: read, dance, church, and excercising. I feel happier and men notice that energy!
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Topic:
Partner History..
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I think asking about health history is one thing, but how many partners is irrelevant. Men seem to respond that this as an invasion of privacy while women here have said they want to know. Personally I just think women are nosy and like to put salt in the wound sometimes.
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Topic:
Someone please explain
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I wear thongs and the only time they show is when I'm home alone or intentionally showing them to someone of the male gender...not in public. I'm 25, but that's not cool to have butt cleave to me.
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Topic:
JSH horror stories
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Well I had a blind date once..from Just Say Hi..and I call them blind dates, because most of the time you really don't know what you are getting yourself in to..and this date, well he was living proof of that..lol umm lets just say..he did not look anything like his pics..lol I was expecting Brad Pitt (lol) and umm well he was about 100lbs off..and then his personality was soo annoying in real life.. I never expect Brad Pit, but my profile must contain some hidden message that says "Assholes apply here". |
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Topic:
JSH horror stories
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I almost canceled in the first day due to an excess of emails and mutual matches..... it died down eventually. Wow..I haven't had that problem... unfortunately. |
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Topic:
Call the E.R. Not H.R.
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There is something in my pants It’s no strange growth I’m sitting at my desk Closer than most Only shielding myself By two layers of clothes An uncomfortable bulge Even more If I rose To the occasion I’m already there Is it her eyes? Or Is it her hair? Or Maybe it’s the whole pic I’m looking at now I’m trying NOT to flex So I’m having a cow! I’m embarrassed to stand Why won’t you lie down? If I sit I can smile If I stood I’d frown I look down and ask “What are you doing?” Can't you see I'm at work This is way too confusing What is this I see My zipper is down Oh shoot I’m protruding! Oh No! Not Now! I zip up my pants A little too quick I didn't know I could dance! So here I am Metal teeth are gnawing Right on my stick! Mouth screams Eyes balling The Frank The Beans It’s no Barbeque My meat won't stop bleeding All thanks to you! It was good till the end then OUCH! |
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Topic:
JSH horror stories
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"Mutual Match" now thats a disaster
You are killing me with that one buddy! |
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Topic:
How many times..
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have you cancelled or "deactivated" your account? And then came back later? And what was the reason? I have deactivated my account once..lol A couple and usually to lay low from stalkers. 
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Topic:
JSH horror stories
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Ok the last time I heard one about a chick showing up for a date at a sports bar in a prom dress and that really made me laugh. Anyone else have any JSH dating disasters? I need to smile tonight and yes I laugh at other peoples' misfortune because it makes me feel better about my own.
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Topic:
The hardest part
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It breaks the dad's heart's too, trust me i know also. Ummm ...I'm not sure you know her dad if ya know what I mean, but hopefully he will grow up soon for her sake. Believable..good man!
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