Community > Posts By > Jill298

 
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Thu 04/29/10 12:22 AM
Topic: Need some advice...help

flowerforyou you could just make up an id for the purpose of mailing her and the ditch the user name at least then the woman can start opening her eyes to whats going on if shes unawareflowerforyou
yea, I did think about that... but then it seems so "fake" How much credibility would the email have with a fake name and all that behind it? IDK... ohwell
Jill298's photo
Thu 04/29/10 12:11 AM
Topic: Need some advice...help




Ideally, I wish they would both throw the guy to the curb! He doesn't deserve even one second of their time. BUT, thats my opinion and I'm not married to him, nor do I have any emotion for him, well other than anger and disgust... Whether "barb" wants to fix her marriage or not is up to her. But I feel she needs all of the information to make that decision. But I also feel it's not really my place since I don't even know Barb. So that's where I'm torn.


How much in the dark is Barb about this situation? If she still doesn't know, she NEEDS to be told NOW. Stranger or not. I doubt the marriage is fixable at this point. But I would also hate to see Joe and Sandy both get away with what they're doing, nothing to answer or atone for. Absolutely shameless and vile.
I truly have no idea how in the dark "barb" is... I don't know her. All I know of her are things I hear here and there. But, you can just take that as gossip. I have no opinion of her what so ever. She may know full well he's a cheater. She may know abosulty nothing. I am just assuming because of how much "Joe" lied to "Sandy" that he MUST be lying to "Barb" as well. If that makes sense!!slaphead



It makes sense. It seems that this is at least to me getting clearer and clearer. Look at all of the posts so far. More than a few are interested in this thread. So I'm gonna guess based on what you told me about Barb that you probably don't have her number, and probably not Joe's either, unless your friend Sandy gave it to you. Therefore you are left with confronting your friend Sandy that she ought to be ashamed, and if her friendship with you means anything to you, drop this guy now and burn the bridge behind her. Dust his azz. That seems the only way to me at this point.flowerforyou
I did tell Sandy she should be ashamed. The only way I could contact Barb is thru an email, she's on another social networking site, not naming any names lol So I would have to send her an email, from a person she doesn't know about her husband. The more and more I think about it, the less and less I want to be involved.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:48 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help


Ideally, I wish they would both throw the guy to the curb! He doesn't deserve even one second of their time. BUT, thats my opinion and I'm not married to him, nor do I have any emotion for him, well other than anger and disgust... Whether "barb" wants to fix her marriage or not is up to her. But I feel she needs all of the information to make that decision. But I also feel it's not really my place since I don't even know Barb. So that's where I'm torn.


I planned on being done with this thread. But, Jill's right It had gotten so confusing that I thought it was the friend (Sandy) husband (Joe)that was cheating on the friend (sandy) with (Barb). Which would had been different than the original story. Also was under the impression from the OP that Jill knew Barb. Otherwise how would she known where to contacted her. So, I'm coming back to say because of all the confusion that I was wrong & to apologize for the misunderstanding. Now, I'm gone.
It's such a complicated drug out story. flowerforyou I so want to put it all behind me.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:46 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help


Ideally, I wish they would both throw the guy to the curb! He doesn't deserve even one second of their time. BUT, thats my opinion and I'm not married to him, nor do I have any emotion for him, well other than anger and disgust... Whether "barb" wants to fix her marriage or not is up to her. But I feel she needs all of the information to make that decision. But I also feel it's not really my place since I don't even know Barb. So that's where I'm torn.


How much in the dark is Barb about this situation? If she still doesn't know, she NEEDS to be told NOW. Stranger or not. I doubt the marriage is fixable at this point. But I would also hate to see Joe and Sandy both get away with what they're doing, nothing to answer or atone for. Absolutely shameless and vile.
I truly have no idea how in the dark "barb" is... I don't know her. All I know of her are things I hear here and there. But, you can just take that as gossip. I have no opinion of her what so ever. She may know full well he's a cheater. She may know abosulty nothing. I am just assuming because of how much "Joe" lied to "Sandy" that he MUST be lying to "Barb" as well. If that makes sense!!slaphead
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:34 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help
Ideally, I wish they would both throw the guy to the curb! He doesn't deserve even one second of their time. BUT, thats my opinion and I'm not married to him, nor do I have any emotion for him, well other than anger and disgust... Whether "barb" wants to fix her marriage or not is up to her. But I feel she needs all of the information to make that decision. But I also feel it's not really my place since I don't even know Barb. So that's where I'm torn.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:32 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help



Simple: Mind Your Own Business!!! No good ever comes from putting your nose where it doesn't belong.


ok put it this way then.
if you were in a relationship and you never knew the guy you were in love with married and you find out from a close friend that had warned you about him for quit sometime. would you tell her the same thing and continue with the relationship knowing he wouldnt leave his wife
and keep stringing you along


Let's bring this out a little, into the future. Let's just say that Sandy(friend) now knows about the marriage of Joe with Barbara(wife), doesn't give a damn, keeps boinking the guy, the marriage ends in divorce and Joe and Sandy live guilt-free in a remorseless sham of a relationship, and now wife(Barb) is left out to the coyotes in a horrible divorce. Would you honestly still be friends with Sandy? How could you possibly say yes?
No. With friends like that, who needs enemies? I really believe she is done, or trying to be done with him now. But he still keeps trying. After he told her he was married he said " I still have feelings for you" then why in FK did you get married?? omg he really does piss me off mad
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Wed 04/28/10 11:29 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help
I hate drama. I just want to wash my hands of this and be done with it. grumble grumble grumble I'm disappointed that my friend "Sandy" has let it go this far. But those are her decisions she has to live with. I just hope that he will leave her alone now. Let her move on with her life.
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Wed 04/28/10 11:21 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help


oops. I'm stoned and read it wrong. My bad.....flowerforyou


No, you didn't read it wrong. The OP posted one thing then now the whole entire story is totally opposite. Just as I figured it'd be. Now, I'm going to go mind my own business & leave this thread before I get in trouble.grumble
Tessa, I don't know you. But I can respect your opinion. I don't however appreciate the implication that I'm lying or changing my story. I have been completely honest. I have no reason to lie or change the story at all. But, your opinion is your own and you're entitled to it. Have a nice evening.
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Wed 04/28/10 11:18 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help

All I can say is I would want to be told. Do you think she is really that stupid not to see the signs?.......smokin
I have no idea. All I know is how much he lied to my friend so I have to assume he lies to his now wife as well.
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Wed 04/28/10 11:16 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help

I'm sorry I got so confused Jill, maybe if I had some fake names to use, I would have followed the story better. Again, I am sorry, I really was trying to help you with some advice.flowerforyou
It's a very complicated situation!! OK... it prob woulda helped if I added fake names lol
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:14 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help

So...where do we draw the line of getting involved with other peoples business when we don't even know them?
Complete strangers to us, only we dislike their ex which we know something about through someone we care about?
She will find out, probally already knows, maybe married him thinking he was going to settle in with her. You don't know any of her story. It's really not your place to interfere with people you don't know. Not even a acquaintance. To get at him, to hurt him by getting another hurt (his wife) is not good business.
Women are not stupid, even your friend knew but continued.
You do bring up a good point...
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:12 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help







Simple: Mind Your Own Business!!! No good ever comes from putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Sooo, if your husband is cheating on you and someone knows and didn't tell you but could have... it's ok for them to say, sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want to be nosey? Oh by the way, how's the STD treating you that your husband gave you?


That person would cease being my friend and I would consider them a back-stabbing co-conspirator to the cheating party. End of friendship, even if it was 22 years. Buh-bye!
How would I be a back stabbing co-conspirator if I told his wife that her husband is cheating on her? It wouldn't betray my friend, she is done with him. FINALLY.


You wouldn't if you told her, but you would if you didn't tell her(and you knew). That is what I meant. Sorry about the confusion.flowerforyou
oooh ok. Well just to be clear, I do not know the wife in this situation. We have never met or even spoken. It's my friend that her husband has been cheating with.



Then, let me get this straight, your "friend" is the concubine that married man Joe is having an affair with. It seems that your friend knows all about this, the marriage and all. I would tell the wife first and then tell your friend she needs to drop him like a sack of mud or risk jeopardizing your friendship with her, the fact that she's doing this seems to show me that she is very capable of betrayal and deceit, something you probably don't want in a friendship. I know I wouldn't.

She found out yesterday that he's married. But she has known for a long time that he's been with her, but he lies to her about the whole relationship.
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Wed 04/28/10 11:10 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help


oops. I'm stoned and read it wrong. My bad.....flowerforyou


No, you didn't read it wrong. The OP posted one thing then now the whole entire story is totally opposite. Just as I figured it'd be. Now, I'm going to go mind my own business & leave this thread before I get in trouble.grumble
how in the world did I change my story???
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:09 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help
Edited by Jill298 on Wed 04/28/10 11:10 PM



It doesn't matter. Friends come and go. Good friends have your back.


I guess I'm different than most folks. I prefer to stay out of other peoples affairs. Guess I'm meddling now by even posting. So, OP do whatever you want. You asked I replied. Take my advice or leave it. Up to you.
I appreciate advice, that's why I asked. I'm really not totally sure what to do. That's why I thought I would get other people's opinions. I think it's a very serious matter, we're talking about someone's marriage here. I want to be sure, whether I decide to tell her or not, that it's the right decision.


Jill, I am dead serious. Take it from someone like me who has been cheated on bad in a former serious relationship. You would be wise to tell your friend, she should know the truth if she's had the wool pulled over her eyes. It's not fair or right to keep this information from her.
But the wife is not my friend... so here lies my issue. Do I tell some woman I have never met that her husband is cheating on her?
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:04 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help





Simple: Mind Your Own Business!!! No good ever comes from putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Sooo, if your husband is cheating on you and someone knows and didn't tell you but could have... it's ok for them to say, sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want to be nosey? Oh by the way, how's the STD treating you that your husband gave you?


That person would cease being my friend and I would consider them a back-stabbing co-conspirator to the cheating party. End of friendship, even if it was 22 years. Buh-bye!
How would I be a back stabbing co-conspirator if I told his wife that her husband is cheating on her? It wouldn't betray my friend, she is done with him. FINALLY.


You wouldn't if you told her, but you would if you didn't tell her(and you knew). That is what I meant. Sorry about the confusion.flowerforyou
oooh ok. Well just to be clear, I do not know the wife in this situation. We have never met or even spoken. It's my friend that her husband has been cheating with.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:02 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help

It doesn't matter. Friends come and go. Good friends have your back.


I guess I'm different than most folks. I prefer to stay out of other peoples affairs. Guess I'm meddling now by even posting. So, OP do whatever you want. You asked I replied. Take my advice or leave it. Up to you.
I appreciate advice, that's why I asked. I'm really not totally sure what to do. That's why I thought I would get other people's opinions. I think it's a very serious matter, we're talking about someone's marriage here. I want to be sure, whether I decide to tell her or not, that it's the right decision.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 11:00 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help
Edited by Jill298 on Wed 04/28/10 11:00 PM



Simple: Mind Your Own Business!!! No good ever comes from putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Sooo, if your husband is cheating on you and someone knows and didn't tell you but could have... it's ok for them to say, sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want to be nosey? Oh by the way, how's the STD treating you that your husband gave you?


That person would cease being my friend and I would consider them a back-stabbing co-conspirator to the cheating party. End of friendship, even if it was 22 years. Buh-bye!
How would I be a back stabbing co-conspirator if I told his wife that her husband is cheating on her? It wouldn't betray my friend, she is done with him. FINALLY.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 10:58 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help



I would want a friend to tell me if something was going on behind my back. Isn't that part of being a friend? Friends are supposed to look out for one another. JMO.........smokin


Consider yourself wildly in love with a woman. Then think of me as your best friend. We've been through it all together & have been friends for years. Maybe even grew up together. If I came & told you she was cheating, etc. Who are you going to believe? Me or your "honey"? Nine chances out of ten you'd think after all we'd been through that I was in love with you & was just jealous of your GF. Now, give it some real though before answering.

Now, in her situation most likely the friend will think the OP wants to steal her man. After a big argument & terrible things said. Their friendship may never be the same again. I think the GF needs to find out for herself & the OP needs to remain silent. JMHO


It doesn't matter. Friends come and go. Good friends have your back.
Like I said, she's been my friend for 22 years. Never once have we fought over a man. I always have her back. The only time we fight lately is over his stupid lies and the fact that she falls for them because she's still in love with him. He's a very good manipulator and makes her feel horribly guilty all the time.
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 10:55 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help

Simple: Mind Your Own Business!!! No good ever comes from putting your nose where it doesn't belong.
Sooo, if your husband is cheating on you and someone knows and didn't tell you but could have... it's ok for them to say, sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want to be nosey? Oh by the way, how's the STD treating you that your husband gave you?
Jill298's photo
Wed 04/28/10 10:54 PM
Topic: Need some advice...help


I would want a friend to tell me if something was going on behind my back. Isn't that part of being a friend? Friends are supposed to look out for one another. JMO.........smokin


Consider yourself wildly in love with a woman. Then think of me as your best friend. We've been through it all together & have been friends for years. Maybe even grew up together. If I came & told you she was cheating, etc. Who are you going to believe? Me or your "honey"? Nine chances out of ten you'd think after all we'd been through that I was in love with you & was just jealous of your GF. Now, give it some real though before answering.

Now, in her situation most likely the friend will think the OP wants to steal her man. After a big argument & terrible things said. Their friendship may never be the same again. I think the GF needs to find out for herself & the OP needs to remain silent. JMHO
thats ridiculous sorry. In no way am I am fighting with my friend about it, and in no way would I ever want that man. My friend knows that. She's been my friend for 22 years.
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