Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris was once watching the movie "Bambi" with his five year old son. When the lovable Bambi was shot, his son began to cry. Chuck stood up, and in a fit of rage yelled, "Chuck Norris doesn't raise pussies. Do I have to round house kick you back into your mother's womb?" After his son shook his head, Chuck sat back down on the couch. Just when everything seemed calm, he executed one of his infamous no look punches on his son and then yelled, "Sneak attack, *****"

HaHahA...courtesy of the Chuck Norris Fact Generator

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Chuck Norris once ate a bad cheese burger at McDonalds. So he tracked down the president of the company, and round house kicked his secretary in the face so hard that she released her bowels onto the office floor. He then force fed the McDolands president the entire mess. This meal is now considered a delicacy in certain parts of the world, and can be found in certain McDonalds establishments under the name "McNorris".

Chuck Norris was not born like most children. He round house kicked his way out of his mothers womb.

There is an acient legend of a man that was born of the ashes from the burning fires of a dragons breath. This man was to rise above all evil and save humanity from certain destruction. This legend never was achieved because Chuck Norris killed that man.

Most children check their closet for the boogey man before they go to sleep...the boogey man checks his closet for chuck norris before he sleeps...lol

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin underneath his beard...only another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups...he just pushes the earth down...

Chuck Norris has the ability to make blind people see. Unfortunately for them, the fist and last thing they see is a round house kick to the face!

"Kia Ora"

No, actually its the Kia Sportage, new compact SUV import...

okay...so what does kia ora mean?

GuLp GuLp GuLp....One for you...two for me!

mmmmm...beer...I wasn't gonna, but why not? Saturday night right? woohoo...crazy man on the loose....
<----smart a$$ in action

the funky chicken!!!!!

(o)v(O)
{ ___ }

So I finally woke up from this nightmare from hell,
Your tricks and your lies just made it hard to tell
That the things I cared most were held out of my sight
By your villianous duties, your hatred and spite
For all that I've done, for you and for your life,
You spit on all my hopes, in my back, lies your knife.
You twist and you thrust, but I was still blinded by my trust.
Never cared for or loved me, my heart was broken and crushed.
But now that I have woken, from this relationship from hell
My life I am now living, for my soul, you cannot sell.

Speaking of Michigan!!! How about that game today??? huh? huh? How about it? <-----obviously from O-H-I-O

Unless everyone is sitting there holding hands with their partner, I don't think I would be able to tell that she was the only single girl...whenever I go out with a bunch of my coupled friends, the girls kinda do their thing and the boys do ours.

Because the good guys are boring, but they are always willing to take them back when they get the boot! You can refer to Greek Mythology to find out what women are really about!

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman. Each god helped create her by giving her unique gifts. Zeus ordered her creation as a punishment for mankind, in retaliation for Prometheus' having stolen fire and then giving it to humans for their use. She is most famous for carrying a jar (or box) containing all the world's evils. She releases these evils, but closes the lid before Hope can escape.

Put's a new meaning to "it's all greek to me!"