USA urged to confront shocking maternal mortality rate

"Amnesty International’s report Deadly Delivery: The Maternal Health Care Crisis in the USA, urges action to tackle a crisis that sees between two and three women die every day during pregnancy and childbirth in the USA.

A total of 1.7 million women a year, one-third of all pregnant women in the country, suffer from pregnancy-related complications.

The report also revealed that severe pregnancy-related complications that nearly cause death -- known as "near misses" -- are rising at an alarming rate, increasing by 25 percent since 1998."

http://www.amnesty.org/en/news-and-updates/usa-urged-confront-shocking-maternal-mortality-rate-2010-03-12

Well, sorry, but not exactly.
The difference is that the doctor who grants her request is protected by the law. Not the school.

Seriously - think of it the other way around.
As far as I am concerned, an adolescent should require parental consent to KEEP the baby. Since THEY are the one who will have to provide for that child in addition to continue to provide for their own children, the baby should be aborted by default unless the parents are fully ready to support it.



Let's clarify those double negatives.
Adolescent can be manipulated into sex. They can be manipulated into abortion (parental pressure, boyfriend pressure, etc), and finally they can be manipulated into keeping the baby (parental pressure, religious pressure, etc).
At the end of the day, however, what it comes down to is this:
they made a mistake like any teenager will do and had unprotected sex with someone they most likely won't be with for long, or are with for the wrong reason at this age. They may even have been raped or been pressured into having sex. And now they are stuck with something unwanted, growing into their body, that will change their whole live forever. If they abort, they have FAR LESS long term consequences, far less life changes, and far less health risks. If she aborts, she doesn't have to forget all chances of higher studies, doesn't have to throw away all of her plans for life, doesn't have to marry someone she may not love or worst, someone who raped her or used her.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/8349898/Abortion-is-safer-than-having-a-baby-doctors-say.html


http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/health/articles/2011/01/27/study_says_abortion_is_not_mental_health_risk/

The school requires a consent from parent because they are taking a responsibility when they use medication on your child, so they want to make sure they cannot be sued.
When an adolescent goes into an abortion clinic, she takes a risk for her own body - nobody is taking this decision in her place. And her body is her own, not her parent's.


If an adolescent trusts her parents, she can always have the choice to tell them about the rape and get comfort and help. She may also choose to do so AFTER the abortion, so that the parents cannot pressure her and decide for her.
If she does NOT trust her parents, then it actually was a good thing she wasn't required to have their consent for the abortion. Some religious parents will go very far, from psychological trauma to forced marriages and many other life-changing decisions if they learn about an aborted pregnancy.


They cannot consent to sex legally because they are not mature enough to take this decision without being manipulated. If they aren't mature enough to have sex, they CERTAINLY aren't mature enough to have a BABY and grow a new life in a secure and safe manner, let along provide adequately for that life in the years to come. Letting the pregnancy happen holds much higher risks for her life than aborting.


Keeping the pregnancy is an even bigger life-altering decision.



You do realize that giving birth is MUCH, MUCH more dangerous for the mother's health than an abortion, don't you?


If she can't care properly for the baby or if the pregnancy goes wrong, who will have to be there to that baby through?

Agreed


Will you also chaperone your teenager each and every time he or she leaves the house to do some things with friends? Every single time?
Because trust me, if he or she wants to go with his or her date, there is nothing simpler than to pretend she goes with friends. Unless you plan to lock your child in their room every day after school, I don't see how viable it is to expect to "chaperone" her everywhere. We are not in the 19th century anymore.


Yes, you are right, this is PRECISELY what it means.

You do realize that in EVERY single state in US where abstinence is the only "sex education" they get, the rate of teen pregnancy and STD is MUCH higher than in state where condom and education is provided?
What is more important - not to "send a green light to have sex", or to send a red light and become a grandfather?

Hello OP,
Perhaps I can shed a bit of light on this interesting question:



The answer is: when she feels ready to have one.
Of course, the next question is: how do we know as parents that a teen is "ready to have a boyfriend"?
Please note that "having a boyfriend" is in no way the same as "having sex". Many young teens will have boyfriend and girlfriends for several years before it actually happens.



The problem with this kind of response is that it is completely counter productive.
1) It's her love life, and she will resent any attempt at controlling it.
2) There is absolutely NO WAY you can prevent her from having a boyfriend. Forbidding someone to do something you cannot prevent them to do only outlines how powerless you are about it.
3) The resentment she will feel toward you will cause her to push you out of the loop. Now not only are you powerless to stop it, but you become uninformed.
4) This pushes you toward lying to you and hiding things from you,
5) This push her to get closer to her peers, gangs, drug and alcohol abuse, and peer influence


Like I said.
You need to change strategy with adolescent. Stop using force (what force anyway?) and start using your influence. This means listening, become trustworthy, having heart to heart true conversations, and ultimately respecting her right to choose for herself. However, DO get yourself involved: get news of her relationship daily, get her to talk about how she feels, if it becomes serious then ask to meet the boy, meet the parent's boy, etc.


...A better way to handle this remark would simply be to tell her how you remember yourself as a teenager and agree that you too thought just that way. Once you have made her understand that you DO understand why this would be important for her, she will be more receptive when you ask her: "Would you want someone to pretend to love you only because others do it?" and challenge her gently by helping her see the other side of the coin.


Your instinct is natural. No parent wants to hear or see their children growing up too fast. But you need to think back to when you were a teen yourself. Teenagers NEED to feel they control their own lives at least to an extend. It's a neurobiological instinct.


You CANNOT win this war.
You can only succeed in alienating your daughter and breaking the attachment bound between you - and that's ultimately not going to help her.
What you need to aim is at
a) Showing her you trust her judgment and understand she need to experiment and manager her own life
b) regaining her trust so that she voluntarily tells you what happens as it happens in her love life
c) Show her that you are a reliable source of advices (not lectures!) and source of reflections and introspection
d) attempt to INFLUENCE her to DELAY sexual relationship until she truly feels READY
e) Attempt to influence her to delay the moment she feels ready (discuss what ready means, how to know, etc)
f) Attempt to influence her to realize that there is no shame in waiting and delaying, to that it becomes really meaningful when it happens
g) Attempt to evaluate if her feelings for the boy are serious and if yes, attempt to integrate the boy and the boy's family in your own.

Good luck!

To my knowledge, the near totality of research in the field of gender studies have shown that men and women are much more ALIKE than they are different.


Even this is not THAT clear cut. You can read about intersex people, for instance; in addition, research ash show than until the 27th week, the unborn featus is exactly the same, whether it is male of female. It is only on the 27th week that the hormones in-uterus affect how the sex organs develop. The same organic tissues constitutes the female and male organs, but they simply grow differently at that point.


This theory has been completely debunked. (read for instance: "Sexing the Body" from Fauster-Stirling, for a detailed explanation of this). Biologically speaking, men and women are just as prone to be nurturing or develop other qualities. However, socially, they aren't encouraged the same way and this impacts how the brain continues to develop. Hormones DO play a role (as testosterone, for instance, triggers more violence) but the effect has been found to be VERY minor, compared to the effect of the social conditioning and environment.



Couldn't agree more with your interrogation... we have a lot more work to do to reach true equality. And the first step is to stop hiding between supposed "natural" instinct of genders for one thing or another.

To my knowledge, the near totality of research in the field of gender studies have shown that men and women are much more ALIKE than they are different.


Even this is not THAT clear cut. You can read about intersex people, for instance; in addition, research ash show than until the 27th week, the unborn featus is exactly the same, whether it is male of female. It is only on the 27th week that the hormones in-uterus affect how the sex organs develop. The same organic tissues constitutes the female and male organs, but they simply grow differently at that point.


This theory has been completely debunked. (read for instance: "Sexing the Body" from Fauster-Stirling, for a detailed explanation of this). Biologically speaking, men and women are just as prone to be nurturing or develop other qualities. However, socially, they aren't encouraged the same way and this impacts how the brain continues to develop. Hormones DO play a role (as testosterone, for instance, triggers more violence) but the effect has been found to be VERY minor, compared to the effect of the social conditioning and environment.



Couldn't agree more with your interrogation... we have a lot more work to do to reach true equality. And the first step is to stop hiding between supposed "natural" instinct of genders for one thing or another.

The confusion is normal and the best way to address it is to use active listening. Have you ever used this technique?
You can google it. You can also purchase this book to help you:
"Parent Effectiveness Training", from Dr. Thomas Gordon.

I am always happy to help. If you have more questions, don't hesitate to post them or to email me.

Hello OP,

I am finishing a degree in family counseling and I can tell you what I learned about divorce and children.

When such a dramatic event happens, most children will think these things:

- That he may be responsible for the breakup in one way or another (this is because at this age, the brain is wired to think that everything is centered around self, this is a natural assumption every kid will have)

- That his parents may leave him (if my parents loved each other so much and they can breakup and leave each other, then it means even when they tell ME they love me, they could also break up from ME and leave me all alone and stranded)

These two ideas MUST BE countered with some deep listening and compassion and discussions. You can help your cousin tremendously by:

1) Listening to his fears without waiving them off, so that he can get them out of his chest
2) reassuring him that it's NOT about him, it has nothing to do with him, and both his parents love him as much as before
3) telling him that they will NEVER stop being his parents and will never stop loving him, even if they are divorcing. (and tell him you won't ever leave him either of course!)
4) meeting with each parent individually and show them this message, and let them know that they must have a serious talk with their son to tell them the above things and reinforce them over and over in the next months.

Good luck!