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Topic:
Take the 2nd letter - part 3
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Offer
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much more fun
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vibes matter
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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Pleasure's all mine - I will look forward to our next one!
Oh, and enjoy the weather  
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Topic:
anygirl
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Some awful high standards you set yourself there m8
 ... but jump in there, there might be one or two hiding in the corner somewhere... 
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I was expecting something horrendous, and all my fears were met
 No, I'm just kidding. You look very sweet, seem intelligent, the note about you being a fetus when I was 12 actually made me laugh. You've got a lot of good things going for you. Just be patient, open and listen to yourself (I think you already do) and not only this site, but life will be well (though not without hardships). Anyway, welcome to Mingle, go mingle, enjoy, and have fun! 
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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Hahaha!!!...Confession time... a group of both male and female friends had a debrief coffee on Melbourne Cup day..(2nd of November) in the late afternoon... the question was posed around the table, of people's perceptions of each other...very enlightening!  ..and very funny. We also discussed in a safe and candid way..(the safe part is we all felt respected and could trust each other's sincerity)...the initial attraction thingo...you know, the walk into a crowded room, and scan around...we decided as humans we have an almost instant, yes...no... as to with whom we would have sex with...and also it was an almost unconscious action, more an evolutionary thing.... ...and yes.  
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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Thank you, but perceptive as I might be, you leave me yet confused with your answer. For you know your door is barely ajar, you know it is guarded to prevent against whatever you don't to enter. You know how people react to you. In fact, you seem to know yourself rather well, especially punctuated by the "(mostly)". You only question - again in brackets - whether you might be too forceful, but I think the more correct question would be, would you change your ways if people thought you were too forceful? Your answer seems to be no. I respect that, but then you must live with the consequences. I do so myself, live with the consequences of choosing to me as I am. They are different from yours certainly, we are not the same, but I pay the prize, and so do you. I see nothing to be curious about, and what confuses me, is that neither should you. Again, just my 2cents Ok, here's the deal..real as it is. I own my own home, in a tiny village population 2500, I have dependent kids...I am about 100 miles from the next town in any direction. I have no family, as in relations living. So my support network is zilch other than the great friends I have made, and have become the family I choose to have, this has been a tried and tested way of living for 11 years. My kids' father bailed out of the country 11 years ago... I was partnered off and on with the only man I have ever loved, and remains my greatest friend, as he knows every facet of me, both admirable and frustrating. Hard benchmark to have to live up to for others...this man (who was not my children's father) was the absolute perfect fit, even to both of us walking through life alongside shoulder width apart, not needing, but CHOOSING this...same as choosing to part with no need for blame. The availability door is not closed, nor wide open, as the factors of other's attraction to me...have to match.... I am not attracted to people who only 'see' the outside...be that material, locale, nationality, or physical...there is a depth that I cannot reduce, to me, nor would choose to lesson... that's why I say I choose to be single...also I AM difficult for most...because I HAVE done the work on myself, I DO know ALL my faults fears and foibles, and am accountable for them, myself...not ever able to blame others for them. Do you know how rare that is, to find in others? A person completely accountable for themselves?...without factoring in goegraphical isolation, intellect, and all the material stuff that goes with it? I was curious to hear other's feedback...and also, after reading over and over how valuable a confident and directly honest woman is...why is it that I rarely even get a response to a post? I do have some vague idea as to how rare that is, yes. People tend to want to own others, not own up to themselves. And do you find one, heck, maybe you aren't even compatible. I do feel for you, though I can imagine that is not what you want. Okay, so Jess, about men talking about the value of a confident and directly honest woman... listen lady, you may never have heard this before, so I'm gonna say it real poetic and pretty. You ready?: people talk, bull$hit walks. See, beautiful right? Most people don't know what they want. They don't know, because they don't know themselves. They don't know themselves, because it is a scary and hard and brutal journey as there is, to know oneself. Most just turn on the TV. And there, on the new flat screen 50" they can suck the right words out and apply them at the right times, without ever really understanding what they mean. So here is what people want: to be stroked with their hairs. Said differently, and I guess that is my advice, though you have asked for none: if you so desire, learn a bit of diplomacy. And if you have to take something away, offer something instead of saying, I know I am difficult, or this is the way I am seeing it. Sorry if I overstep your boundaries, some hate advice lest asked for, but I mean no harm. 
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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Just had a look at your profile. "...opinionated, stubborn, intelligent, defiant, self-reliant ...be warned!!!" Does those words seem familiar to you? I could have a header on my profile going something like this: "...I will always see through your games. I don't need you and I always do things my way. And if you look hot, I probably want to phuck you.... be warned!!!" Now how many hits you'd think I would get? Hmmm...nope...the hot looks do nothing for me...in the initial connection thing...it has to be intellect, insight, and directness.... and yes I will see through anyone's games, I DON'T need anyone...I am not a needy person...and a mature grown up would understand relationships are NOT about neediness, they are about mutual compatability, not co-dependence. I will always do things my way...because I am the only person in this body!...however, does that make me uncompromisable? ...nope... initially I am not going to 'give over' my whole belief structure, way of life and day to day dealings, I HAVE to do it my way, I have children reliant on me...and quite frankly any half baked grown up...(not the stoner version of baked, either) would not want a limpid weak dependent mindless person as a partner anyways! I could always have as a headline...."Doormat awaiting any who wish to lie to me, control me, and basically think for me" wonder how many people would find THAT attractive?  I am completely adamant I expect brutal honesty from others...so why would I NOT warn them of my seemingly worst traits???  No I guess not, the hot phucking part was me sneaking in there, my twisted attempt of humor, lost on most I know... Okay okay, again, you seem sure and certain in your ways. Good on you. Respect, but like stated before, you are merely paying the prize for something that you are choosing with open eyes and head held high. I think I understand what you mean about not needing anyone, but there are several ways to view the same aspect, and if you do not NEED love and companionship and a partner, then again, why are you surprised when most walk past your door? Those who need it, know they cannot find it with you. The rest... well there's not that many of that kind around see... maybe you don't know, so let me share with you: most men want someone who needs them. Not for money or support or protection or dependence (well maybe some men do at that...) but most just want to feel needed as who they are. And Jess, honestly "Doormat awaiting any who wish to lie to me, control me, and basically think for me" was not quite what I had in mind... All the best. |
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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I don't know you Jess, but I'd say because you make yourself unapproachable, whether you realize it or not. That is usually how it goes, seeing you're neither ugly, dumb or deadly contagious. To make my point, you write initially "I am wildly curious as to why I am single... (I mean other than I choose to be)." You're saying it is your choice to be single. How then, can you be curious as to why? You are not opening a door. It is merely the appearance of an open door. Few are fooled. Most stay the distance. The interesting question is why you do it, but only you can answer that. Of course my answer is derived from what little I know of you, and I mean no offense, but like you, to say it as I see it. Just my 2cents and only because you asked. Best wishes, good luck, have fun. Thankyou so much for the honest and direct feedback. And you are absolutely correct, in that I am not available in the atypical sense... It is not a wide open door, again correct in your perceptions...it is a door ajar, and only a sliver...with 3 Maori Bouncers standing astride it... ..it takes a particular person to even notice the partially ajar door of me, and the reason being it is not wide open is because I am usually way too forceful (?) in my ways. Unapproachable?...hmmm...possibly, I have a very rigid process of thought, and a clear knowledge of my shortcomings, (mostly), and so am not as easily 'available' as most...which can be veiwed as 'closed'.. I find most in my day to day world either see me instantly or they tend to circle warily for a while first, (that's both genders of potential new friends)...and have said as much once they figure out that I am more than just a 'closed door'. You are one highly perceptive person! Thank you, but perceptive as I might be, you leave me yet confused with your answer. For you know your door is barely ajar, you know it is guarded to prevent against whatever you don't to enter. You know how people react to you. In fact, you seem to know yourself rather well, especially punctuated by the "(mostly)". You only question - again in brackets - whether you might be too forceful, but I think the more correct question would be, would you change your ways if people thought you were too forceful? Your answer seems to be no. I respect that, but then you must live with the consequences. I do so myself, live with the consequences of choosing to me as I am. They are different from yours certainly, we are not the same, but I pay the prize, and so do you. I see nothing to be curious about, and what confuses me, is that neither should you. Again, just my 2cents |
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Topic:
Ok, seriously skeptical
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One indeed must look within; and discover: what you get is what you give.
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Topic:
Just curious
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whoa! slow down dude...baby steps, get a few dates under your belt before you start worrying about what order your pecker should be in. (it has occurred to me that i may have read your post wrong, ahh what the hell, it's probably solid advice either way.)
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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I am not saying, don't be yourself, but maybe it'll be worth it to present yourself in a... less hard to digest version... at least right off the bat... of course that is your choice, but if you want people to take you 100% as you are before they even know you - and even warn them to boot - don't whine when they pass you by.
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
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Just had a look at your profile.
"...opinionated, stubborn, intelligent, defiant, self-reliant ...be warned!!!" Does those words seem familiar to you? I could have a header on my profile going something like this: "...I will always see through your games. I don't need you and I always do things my way. And if you look hot, I probably want to phuck you.... be warned!!!" Now how many hits you'd think I would get?
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Topic:
A bit befuzzled...
Edited by
Himself1
on
Thu 12/23/10 10:09 AM
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I don't know you Jess, but I'd say because you make yourself unapproachable, whether you realize it or not.
That is usually how it goes, seeing you're neither ugly, dumb or deadly contagious. To make my point, you write initially "I am wildly curious as to why I am single... (I mean other than I choose to be)." You're saying it is your choice to be single. How then, can you be curious as to why? You are not opening a door. It is merely the appearance of an open door. Few are fooled. Most stay the distance. The interesting question is why you do it, but only you can answer that. Of course my answer is derived from what little I know of you, and I mean no offense, but like you, to say it as I see it. Just my 2cents and only because you asked. Best wishes, good luck, have fun. |
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Topic:
Do you think you can...
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NEVER Trust a red head!! I was married to one for 13 years until I realized she was really a blonde!!  She done you good
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/laughing hysterically You called me Boob. Sorry, but I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read this. I did too. Also thought "You know ... some people would take offense ... " Hey, so my mind tend to wander and Freud would have something to say about that, but at least I am man enough to be pleased.... that I can cause a pair of fine women to break out laughing!
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Don't tell her about the chick you did the night before...
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Only when I don't sweet talk it.
What's your favorite toy to hate? |
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here is now
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