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Community > Posts By > I_love_bluegrass
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I think it's a valid question. There is a perception that childless equates to self absorbed. If it's a concern, the subject should be addressed. There could be any number of reasons for being childless. In my case, my only child died. So my profile says no children. I'm also too old to have children, so of course, no to "wants children". I have discovered the opposite concern. Having spent little time around youngsters, for decades, I have limited patience with them. So I need to explore the level of any close relationship a grandparent has with his grandchildren. "There is a perception that childless equates to self absorbed."  I have seen *parents* who are self-absorbed, continually brag on their kids,....try to evangelize people who don't have them into having them...etc.. Plus..IF a person could give me a reason that they wanted kids that DID NOT involve "I"... It's always "I want to pass my genes/ legacy on"...."I want to see what it would look like"..."I want to show proof of our love as a couple" (which is what i hear from those who have had multiple marriages and had kids with each partner, even though they had a couple of each sex already)....etc.. You want to show me non-selfish/ non "self-absorbed"? How about instead you ADOPT one of the countless children in foster care? |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Thu 03/26/20 09:27 AM
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I knew I didn't want kids back when I *was* a kid....
Wasn't interested in playing with baby dolls...didn't envision having babies when I grew up... Fast forward... My ex..while we were dating, i told him numerous tomes I did not want kids...he claimed he was OK with that.. years later, after being married a few years..he starts pressuring me to have one... I reminded him we had been over this multiple times while we were dating... He said he thought I'd change my mind.. Why? What part of "I don't want kids" sounded unclear?HAD I said "I am not sure if I want kids" or "I don't think I want kids"..then, yes, I could see that as open to interpretation. We divorced...he filed, but, by that time (few years later) he was a serial cheater. The guy I was with for 8 years after him...he didn't want kids either.. My late husband? He'd had himself snipped when he was in college, because he know he didn't want any either..and didn't want some woman claiming she got pregnant off him (spare me the crap about "well, you know that *can* happen even with a vasectomy"...) *I* finally had my tubes tied in 2001...it took me that long to get a doctor to do it... I would love to find a guy that never had kids, and no...even if his kids are grown and adults and on their own...there's ~grandkids~...  And if I didn't want to be around them in my 20's, when I had more energy and so forth..why the heck would you think I;d want to be around them NOW when i am almost 60? We are all different.... Not everyone wants to be a minister/ preacher...or a fireman....one should feel *called* to do that.. I just never felt the "call" to be a parent...  |
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Topic:
Is this legit?
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Thu 03/26/20 08:15 AM
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Unfortunately, I have only runs across real, legit people here in the forums...which does me no good...
I didn't join to chat in Forums... And hush with that BS about "you can find someone here".. No, that would mean being lucky enough to find someone randomly who is in my area, my age range, and who I share stuff in common with..and, the odds of me stumbling across someone like that here in the Forums is really really small... 
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Topic:
Men's rules
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Wed 03/25/20 07:36 AM
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 
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Topic:
Trump
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Tue 03/24/20 02:34 PM
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Applying to your news source: Overall, we rate CNN left biased based on editorial positions that consistently favors the left, while straight news reporting falls left-center through bias by omission. We also rate them Mixed for factual reporting due to several failed fact checks by TV hosts. However, news reporting on the website tends to be be properly sourced with minimal failed fact checks LEFT BIAS These media sources are moderately to strongly biased toward liberal causes through story selection and/or political affiliation. They may utilize strong loaded words (wording that attempts to influence an audience by using appeal to emotion or stereotypes), publish misleading reports and omit reporting of information that may damage liberal causes. Some sources in this category may be untrustworthy. I think it is more a matter of educated listening. There is dire need for people to be educated in comprehension and determining facts and data from opinions. Decades ago, the culture changes made it so that 'just the facts' approach did not bring in the views and ratings that sensational news did, and we started seeing reporters and news shows add in more casual talk and opinions. When you allow the human element in, or allow reporters to also comment and describe things, you invite bias regardless of the side. If our education kicked out more people with the logic to tell what is fact from what is opinion, 'bias' would not be an issue. And Fox does not do that? They have NO bias???? Oooookay.... I'm sure I can find the same info on numerous other sites...which ones meet with your approval? Give 3 or more. Thank you. |
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Topic:
lilith?
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That was WAY before my time, and, supposedly yours as well...
Unless you were around in the Garden Of Eden...
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Topic:
Trump
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Trump is still a better president, than the four idiots who held the job before him. http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2019/business/stock-market-by-president/index.html |
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Topic:
Trump
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Tue 03/24/20 01:07 AM
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but I will tell you straight up, don't argue with old white people. most of them drank the Kool-Aid loooong ago, especially the men. their brains simply don't accept new information. they were alive at a time when you could work a minimum wage job and still pay for university, a car, and your own place. try doing that now, especially in a city where gentrification quadrupled rent prices and drove out the natives. 
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Thu 03/19/20 02:23 PM
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well since you already have all the answers so why bother asking a bunch of strangers you obviously consider idiots? I never said anyone was an idiot. I was merely stating I had to re-explain several things, that should have been obvious.. I asked *straightforward question...where would one get the info on the date of marriage that was done at the base there in Frankfurt, period. If I *had* living family members who would know anything about this, or pictures, or any of the (to me) obvious things to go by..I would not have asked the question. Sorry you were confused. Edited to add: As I originally asked if anyone was from Germany that could help (because they would know hoe stuff works there)..Lars DID give some good info, and so did RockGnome, so...points to them..
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Thu 03/19/20 11:41 AM
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No friends of theirs...we moved multiple times..(my dad was in sales, the company moved him around) Last friend of my dad I knew (that knew him back then) was a hunting buddy who he lost contact with in the 80's.(he lived in MD, we hadn't lived there since the 60's) I was an only child..no siblings My dad was an only child. Oma, my mom's mom..in Germany died in 1979. My mom's dad died way before that, she had a stepfather who I am certain is also dead. Both my mom and dad have been dead for years. My cousins, (such as there are) who my mom didn't tell me I had any (they lived some 500 miles away...I don't really know them...and, they certainly don't know squat diddly about my dad..*they* certainly never met him. The connections I was referring to are theirs, not yours. Perhaps you can trace the history of their wedding bands. Since the marriage was taboo, perhaps they just put on wedding rings and told people they were married? Think of all the things where a marriage certificate is required. Taxes, insurances, ownership certificates, citizenship status. Did your mother ever get a greencard or social security number? Before photostats, official forms had a section where the certificate information was written by the clerk while viewing the certificate. While there was a fire which destroyed many documents, its highly doubtful there were multiple fires at multiple places that destroyed all documents. While you may not be able to find the official marriage certificate you might find reference to date, place, witnesses and clergy. Old photos might also reveal clues. Not only the people but the places and backgrounds. A lot of research can be done via internet. It just depends on how thorough you want to get and how much time you want to dedicate. Oh for gods sake.. 1. He was in the service..he married my mom, a German citizen, which am sure A lot of GI's did. 2. They got married on base...my mom's people were irreligious, I doubt they'd ever set foot *in* church, so, I am 99.9% it was a civil ceremony (like my late husband and I did..at the courthouse)..it wasn't clandestine, or anything, other than my mom's mom probably didn't really want her to marry a GI and move to America. And, no..there weren't a bunch of people involved..like "let's have a wedding,,.invite people"..why is it hard to understand? SHE had a ring (probably bought in the PX)..my dad never were one, that wasn't a common thing for men to wear rings in the 1950's-1960's...watch old B & W movies from the 1930's and 1940's...none of the men wore wedding rings.. 3. Yes, of course she had a green card when she moved here, and got her citizenship sometime before I was born. Then of course she got a Social Security card....she worked from 1973 on. 4. Photo's???? That's funny....we were not picture taking bunch..I don;t think there were a handful of pics of either my mom or dad, and NONE of them together... I'd delete this post if I was able, as all I has was a simple question that has turned into me re-explaining why this and that isn't applicable. I got the most useful info, speak with the US Embassy |
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Only base in Frankfurt, that I can think of, is Rhein Main Air Force Base. I just checked, they closed in 2005. I *thought* I'd heard that.  Also, apparently in the US here, a LOT of paper records were lost in a fire in 1973...so.... |
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Only base in Frankfurt, that I can think of, is Rhein Main Air Force Base. Is it even still there? I have the number to the US Embassy in Germany..I'll give them a call after all this virus thing calms down a bit. |
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You didn't give that info. You just said he was stationed in Frankfurt. That would reduce chances of them marrying that year. My first line stated: "I am trying to find out when my dad, who was stationed in Frankfurt, married my mom, a German citizen." I *thought* since I said she was a German citizen, it was obvious she was living in Germany. And by saying when my dad, who was *stationed* in Frankfurt (at the time) married my mom (a German citizen)...I didn't think that was confusing.. Sorry you were confused. |
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Topic:
New format for messages
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Thanks for changing it back.
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Topic:
New format for messages
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Well, I am glad for all of you that you *apparently* can open messages..
I can't...I hover and click on one of the new messages, and...nothing happens.... I am on a PC also. |
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Maybe that's exactly why they got married, because he was going to get shipped out. Could very well be they married shortly before that. Ummmm.....my dad lived in Maryland. He got shipped out from the US in late 1955, to Frankfurt, Germany. My mom was a German living in Heidelberg. So, HOW could he have met and married her in the US before he was shipped out, when she didn't even LIVE here? |
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Topic:
New format for messages
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I can't even OPEN messages...
I click on their name (on the left side of the page), and....nothing happens... This sucks.
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You probably already know this but the MORMON's have a huge database of genealogy info. Don't overlook them. 25 years ago when I dove into my genealogy they where super helpful, aiding me in tracing my French side all the way back to about 1000 AD when my family married into the Charlemagne line or vice versa. My Irish side is much more difficult because I don't have enough basic info and it's "one of the oldest and commonest" names in Ireland. I've only made it as far back as the 1840's when a grandfather left County Cork for here. My dad's MOM'S side I've been able to go back to 1185... It's my dad's dad that I started trying to find out. |
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Not German descent but I do recall some genealogy researchers I met. Genealogy research is "a gathering of information". Its surprising where documents are located. Histories rarely come complete from one source. The further back in time, the more difficult the task at hand. Granted I don't know 1950s Germany record keeping but people tend to keep memories. I'm sure you mom & dad had friends. You have a date and location so that is a pretty good start. The name of the Chaplin at a military base is probably public record. Perhaps there is an avenue there? Find out his name and seek out his family. Ask them if he kept personal records of marriages he performed. You might get lucky. Consider your parents siblings, cousins, children and grandchildren of their families as well. While the marriage may have been taboo at the time, family history is very important to many people for many reasons. Even if they won't part with the documents maybe they would snap a picture and email it to you? Good luck, I hope you find what you need!  No friends of theirs...we moved multiple times..(my dad was in sales, the company moved him around) Last friend of my dad I knew (that knew him back then) was a hunting buddy who he lost contact with in the 80's.(he lived in MD, we hadn't lived there since the 60's) I was an only child..no siblings My dad was an only child. Oma, my mom's mom..in Germany died in 1979. My mom's dad died way before that, she had a stepfather who I am certain is also dead. Both my mom and dad have been dead for years. My cousins, (such as there are) who my mom didn't tell me I had any (they lived some 500 miles away...I don't really know them...and, they certainly don't know squat diddly about my dad..*they* certainly never met him. I DON'T have a date..that's the thing..what I said.. *I* was told they were married in 1955...but yet, yesterday I found the manifest where he was shipped overseas for the first time in Oct 1955.. Once this crap about the virus calms down, I'll dig a bit further..right now..people are short-staffed, if they are open at all.. |
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Native German here  Usually, city councils in Germany keep records of marriages. You might give the one in Frankfurt a shout? 9/10 in Germany speak at least some basic English, so the language barrier should not be a problem. Wishing you good luck Now is probably NOT the time to do that..I am sure they have other things they are dealing with... I shall keep this info for a later, more appropriate time...
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