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| Topic: Men's rules | |
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side.
Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. |
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So true! 
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The Ten Commandments from man given to woman
Through the inspiration of I, Prince Buster One, thou shall have no other man but me Two, thou shall not encourage no man to make love to you Neither kiss nor caress you For I am your man, a very jealous man And is ready to lay low any other man that may intrude in our love Three, remember to kiss and caress me Honor and obey me, in my every whim and fancy Seven days a week and twice on Sundays Because at no time will I ever be tired of I-T, it Honor my name so that every other woman may honor it also Five, thou shall not provoke me to anger Or my wrath will descend upon you heavily Commandment Six, thou shall not search my pockets at night Or annoy me with your hearsays Commandment Seven, thou shall not shout my name in the streets If I'm walking with another woman But wait intelligently until I come home Then we both can have it out decently For I am your man, a funny man And detest a scandal in public places Commandment Eight, thou shall not drink, nor smoke Nor use profane language For those bad habits I will not stand for Nine, thou shall not commit adultery For the world will not hold me guilty if I commit Murder Ten, thou shall not covet thy neighbor's dress Nor her shoes, nor her bureau, nor her bed, nor her hat Nor anything that's hers Neither shall thou call my attention to anything that may be for sale In any stores, for I will not give thee anything but what You actually need for your purpose Those are the Ten Commandments given from man to woman By me, Prince Buster Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Cecil Campbell Ten Commandments of Man lyrics © Prince Buster Music |
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The Ten Commandments from man given to woman Through the inspiration of I, Prince Buster One, thou shall have no other man but me Two, thou shall not encourage no man to make love to you Neither kiss nor caress you For I am your man, a very jealous man And is ready to lay low any other man that may intrude in our love Three, remember to kiss and caress me Honor and obey me, in my every whim and fancy Seven days a week and twice on Sundays Because at no time will I ever be tired of I-T, it Honor my name so that every other woman may honor it also Five, thou shall not provoke me to anger Or my wrath will descend upon you heavily Commandment Six, thou shall not search my pockets at night Or annoy me with your hearsays Commandment Seven, thou shall not shout my name in the streets If I'm walking with another woman But wait intelligently until I come home Then we both can have it out decently For I am your man, a funny man And detest a scandal in public places Commandment Eight, thou shall not drink, nor smoke Nor use profane language For those bad habits I will not stand for Nine, thou shall not commit adultery For the world will not hold me guilty if I commit Murder Ten, thou shall not covet thy neighbor's dress Nor her shoes, nor her bureau, nor her bed, nor her hat Nor anything that's hers Neither shall thou call my attention to anything that may be for sale In any stores, for I will not give thee anything but what You actually need for your purpose Those are the Ten Commandments given from man to woman By me, Prince Buster Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Cecil Campbell Ten Commandments of Man lyrics © Prince Buster Music Oh my God.... |
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
priceless and it's about time 
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
priceless and it's about time
He, he  
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This is why I stay away from the human race.... Think of me... as... Anubis kitty... yeah, that's it, yeah.... hell, I don't even have a toilet out here! I have double bags lined in a 2.5 gallon plastic bucket with 2 2x4's over the top.
yes it's cold. 
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This is why I stay away from the human race.... Think of me... as... Anubis kitty... yeah, that's it, yeah.... hell, I don't even have a toilet out here! I have double bags lined in a 2.5 gallon plastic bucket with 2 2x4's over the top. yes it's cold.
Summer here in New Zealand. I am already building a bunker in the woods... Thanks 
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The Ten Commandments from man given to woman Through the inspiration of I, Prince Buster One, thou shall have no other man but me Two, thou shall not encourage no man to make love to you Neither kiss nor caress you For I am your man, a very jealous man And is ready to lay low any other man that may intrude in our love Three, remember to kiss and caress me Honor and obey me, in my every whim and fancy Seven days a week and twice on Sundays Because at no time will I ever be tired of I-T, it Honor my name so that every other woman may honor it also Five, thou shall not provoke me to anger Or my wrath will descend upon you heavily Commandment Six, thou shall not search my pockets at night Or annoy me with your hearsays Commandment Seven, thou shall not shout my name in the streets If I'm walking with another woman But wait intelligently until I come home Then we both can have it out decently For I am your man, a funny man And detest a scandal in public places Commandment Eight, thou shall not drink, nor smoke Nor use profane language For those bad habits I will not stand for Nine, thou shall not commit adultery For the world will not hold me guilty if I commit Murder Ten, thou shall not covet thy neighbor's dress Nor her shoes, nor her bureau, nor her bed, nor her hat Nor anything that's hers Neither shall thou call my attention to anything that may be for sale In any stores, for I will not give thee anything but what You actually need for your purpose Those are the Ten Commandments given from man to woman By me, Prince Buster Source: LyricFind Songwriters: Cecil Campbell Ten Commandments of Man lyrics © Prince Buster Music Oh my God.... Commandment 7 is hilarious
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That's pretty good, I just hate to be viewed as typical
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a genie appears to the three men. the Mexican man says I'd like my entire race to prosper and be home with my family in Mexico all of us together forever. the African says,I'd like my whole race to prosper and live together forever in Africa. the honkey says,I'll have a coke.
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Wed 03/25/20 07:36 AM
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.  
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We always hear 'The Rules' from the female side. Here are the rules from the male side. 1 Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Yes, we know where your eyes are, but your boobs are where our eyes are. Don't try to change that. 2 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 3 Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 4 Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 5 Crying is Blackmail. End Of. 6 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work..! strong hints do not work..! obvious hints do not work..! Just say it..! 7 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 8 Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 9 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 10 Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 11 If you think you are fat, then you probably are. Don't ask us. We know it's a trap. 12 if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. One of the most reasonable realistic 'lists' I've seen... bravo 
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Great topic! And my opinion?
"Men's rules DON'T apply!" Especially when your A Wise Woman! lol... |
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